Original Sub by Cycles
The fear in her eyes and the knife in the chest
That's my last memory of my mother
That's why I had to go to prison for four years
Even though she survived it
After that it went good for a while
Until I met that 70 year old
"Oh my god" were her last words
Then she was dead
I didn't know her and I didn't steal anything
That damned idea was suddenly there
I just had to
I couldn't explain it
So I went to prison for 10 years
Then the psychologists got interested in my inner life
When they asked me about my dreams, I told them about flowers
Flowers
Always just flowers
Apart from that, I could fantasize in my mind whatever I wanted
It helped me control this urge to...
Just let it all out
Prison exists so one can better oneself
But that urge to torture a human, that's one thing I never could get rid of
If you sum everything up
Then I've been behind bars more than half of my life
Only, I never commited a crime out of pure joy
There was always a little something, that was added to it
I knew, It will happen again
It has to
But this time they won't get me
Nobody came to pick me up
No family, Nothing
I would've been too excited anyway
I couldn't sleep the whole last night
Finally free
I already had a concrete plan
The details were all fixed
Now it was only neccesary to find somebody
But I didn't know where I was
I've lived in this town for 10 years
Only, behind bars you can't get to know a city
My first question was: Where to?
I thought: Where can you meet somebody?
So I went to the first Café that was open
There were two attractive girls sitting in there
They were still pretty young
But that would've worked
I felt a bit awkward, dressed as I was
But after 10 years of prison, you can't be dressed modern
They stared at me
I was on it immediately
They literally provoked me
My fantasy immediately began to go wild
I wondered how I could approach them
That excited me enormously
I immediately imagined the greatest things
But it would've caused too much attention in the Café
Everyone would have heard us
That wasn't a good opportunity
It was absolutely neccesary to find a quiet place
and everything would've gone on well
Then a coincidence helped me
- Where to?
Straigt ahead, please
The opportunity in the Taxi was great
It wouldn't be a robbery, I wasn't interested in money
That woman reminded me of my first girlfriend, Anna-Marie
A real whore
I was 14 at the time, and she was significantly older than me
She nearly could've been my mother
We sat on a bench in the park
I had to remove a shoe
She took the shoe away from me... - What are you doing?
she only would return it to me
...if I gave her a kiss - What are you doing there?
Anna-Marie then took me home with her
She seduced me
That's when I was able to get active for the first time
First I tied her up, then sealed her mouth shut...
Then I hit her
With a belt and later with a real whip
She couldn't get enough
I really enjoyed it
I became Anna-Marie's slave, and it really excited me
Hey What are you doing !!
Nobody had followed me
Where to and how long I'd run, I don't know
I didn't know that area
I'd never been there
The house seemed desolate to me
I wasn't sure if somebody lived in there
I noticed no one
and didn't hear anything
No human soul around
I thought, that's a paradise for me
The house was well protected by the park and the trees
I didn't have to be afraid of neighbours here
The locatin was perfect
No danger of being spotted here
I could hardly breathe
I was incredibly excited
The opportunity to meet someone in here...
nearly made me go mad
I thought I couldn't take it much longer
I was sure someone lived in here
My victims
I was afraid
Daddy?
Not of the law
I was in a state of mind that excluded every kind of logic
I was afraid of myself
Already earlier in my life, I had been in great fear
For example, as a child it was impossible for me to be alone in a room
My grandmother once locked me alone in a dark room for a whole night
I thought she was trying to kill me
That I'd die of fear
The only thing that helped me were those sounds
What luck I had
This house was perfect for me
My plan would work
Mommy
Daddy is here
Don't be stupid, he's long been dead
As a child, I always had to fear for my life
First my mother threw out my father
Then she lived with another man
My stepfather
And she tried to kill me
She wrapped me in wet diapers
and put me in front of the open window
So I should get cold at the window and freeze to death
Sylvia!
Sylvia...
I was never safe with my mother
She hated boys
For my mother, I was only an attempt to get a girl
She didn't want a boy like me
She developed a real infatuation for my sister
I didn't exist for her
My sister could do with me whatever she wanted
My mother always just laughed
But one time, I caught my sister alone
I really gave it to her then
I wanted to hit her until she was dead
In her eyes I saw that she was afraid of me
That excited me enormously
Because my mother didn't want me, I grew up at my grandmother's
But she always just said that she had to be ashamed of me
That I was a shame for the whole family
Because I was an illegitimate child
She was incredibly religious
...and to purge the guilt, she sent me to a convent
I didn't want to
But I had to become a priest
We students lived in that convent
...and the nuns and priests had a farm there
There were all kinds of animals there
One afternoon, I secretly snuck into the barn
...and used a knife until the blood gushed
It was a pig
It was afraid of me and squeaked so loudly that the nuns came and caught me
After this incident I had to leave the convent
For my grandmother, a world collapsed
She was so religious...
Now I was no longer allowed to become a priest
After the incident at the convent, my mother said
that my family had to be afraid of me
For her, I now was a monster
She punished me by not letting me back to my grandmother
That was because my stepfather decided to take over my upbringing
But he hated me
He was always good to my sister
But He couldn't stand me
She was never treated badly
One time, he hit me so hard, that I had to crawl on the floor
My mother and my sister just stood there and laughed at me
I wanted to take revenge on my stepfather
I wanted to kill him, out of rage
Daddy
But I was too weak
So I had to run away from home
I slept in the park
There I observed a swan
First I strangled it
Then I cut off its head
It was expelled from the flock and didn't go back with them in the water
It lived all by itself in a corner of the park
It liked humans very much
But it was afraid of me
I imagined, that I was taking my revenge then
Everything went wrong
Everything happened to fast
I had it imagined totally differently
Much much more dramatic
At least now I wanted to stick to my plan
First the mother should visit her dead son
She should observe very carefully
...how he no longer could move
That would teach her some respect
But...she wasn't moving anymore herself
I thought she was playing a trick on me
Like a fox that pretends to be dead
I really thought she was pretending
Then I noticed, there was really something wrong with her
Nobody can act that well
That's impossible
But she shouldn't be unconscious
She had to experience every phase very thoroughly
I had lost control
A catastrophe!
That couldn't happen to me
What are you doing?
Mother is ill
She needs her medicine...
In the kitchen
- She could help me - Please
The old one had to stay concscious no matter what
I wanted to strangle her after all
And the daughter should watch how her mother slowly died
She should see what it meant to die
The young one tried to get me
Either she liked me that much or she was just trying to rescue herself
But that didn't matter, she just didn't know it yet
I had planned something very special for her
She would take the most, that was obvious
The thing with her is going to be very special
In the kitchen I had already noticed various tools
With her, I'll do it in the most precise manner
Exactly what I had always imagined
But first I had to wake up the old one
She had to gain consciousness again
After all, she was supposed to whimper and be afraid of me
Then the daughter would have to watch how she would die
She can't give up
Just like that
I finished her
Now only the girl was left to me
You!
You
You... You
I didn't want to leave the corpses in the house like that
I decided to take the family with me
The thought that I could have the corpses with me all the time
...excited me tremendously
In no case would I leave without them
I had my plans with the corpses
I was determined that this all was only the beginning
I wanted to live out my fantasies
At that moment, I didn't care where that would lead
I didn't think about it at all
I wanted to get new victims as soon as possible
I was crazy about it
I made a new plan
I wanted to show the corpses to the new victims
I was convinced that I could really scare them with that
I had the idea that I would lock the new victims together with the corpses
That would scare them enormously
Some would surely die of fear
They couldn't stand being tortured that way
And then I would finish them off
After the act I felt very well
My head felt lighter
Also my whole body felt lighter
I thought that everything I did was easier now
As if I was floating
I was in a bright, yes even cheerful mood
Of course I knew that this state of mind...
...this relief, wouldn't last long
That the urge would return
Hey!
Hey, get out of there!
Get out of there already!
Hey!
Come on!
I can't pity the victims
I wanted to continue to murder
I already had a perfect plan
The two girls were sitting there again
I was on it immediately
My fantasy immediately began to go wild
It was irresistible
Just fantastic
I thought...
How could I approach them?
Then I decided...
I'll take them all
I'll take all four of them right now, right here
Show me your registration
I don't have anything to do it with!
The registration!
I got the car from someone else, I don't know how that happened
- I don't care, show me your registration! - I...
What now?
- Do you have a registration or don't you? - It's not my fault, that's not my car...
I don't care, show me your registration
The moment was very thrilling
It really excited me
- But I don't have anything to do with it! - Open up the trunk!
Now everybody's going to be scared to death
Now everybody is afraid of me
I'm famous
It's a pity about those girls, though...
That would've been a nice tango
Excerpt from the psychiatric opinion
The patient planned and commited the crime consciously
to gain physical satisfaction
His personality is liable and perverse
The worst mental disorder is a pronounced sadism
However mental illness wasn't the diagnoses
That by hurting somebody and by using violence...
on other people, he could get sexually excited
this was known to the patient since early childhood
His relation to society is severely disturbed
This is because as a baby he was abandoned by the mother
and later would never know a stable family
The patient is one hundred percent responsible
but one cannot speak of guilt in the common sense with this case
The prospect of punishment didn't stop him from murdering
Sentence on behalf of the people:
Imprisonment for life