00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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This is Zero One Alpha.
We have secured Falcon.
2
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,010
I say again, we have secured Falcon.
3
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:48,640
By the time I count to ten...
4
00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:50,930
...you will have told me
exactly what I need to know.
5
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:52,380
If not...
6
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,430
...the number ten will be the
last thing you will ever hear.
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00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:57,640
One
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Two
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Three
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Four
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00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,100
Five
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Six
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00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:04,270
Seven
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Eight
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Grenade! Sir, get back!
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Shit.
17
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Fucking missed it.
18
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How did I fucking miss it?
19
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Merlin, I apologize for putting
you in this position.
20
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:34,800
You trained him well.
21
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,350
James...
22
00:02:38,180 --> 00:02:41,600
training is over.
23
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Welcome to Kingsman.
24
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Lancelot.
25
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:47,810
Sir.
26
00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:55,160
I'll deal with this mess personally.
27
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,330
I very much regret that your husband's
bravery can't be publicly celebrated.
28
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:04,790
I hope you understand.
29
00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:06,460
How can I understand?
30
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,630
You won't tell me anything.
31
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,000
I didn't even know
he wasn't with his squad.
32
00:03:12,170 --> 00:03:13,410
I'm so sorry, I can't say more.
33
00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:16,850
But I would like to present you
with this Medal of Valor...
34
00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:21,350
and if you look closely on the back,
there's a number.
35
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,220
And as a more concrete gesture
of our gratitude...
36
00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:26,310
we'd like to offer you...
37
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:28,860
Let's call it a favor.
38
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The nature of it is your choice.
39
00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:32,030
Just tell the operator...
40
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,900
"oxfords not brogues,"
and then I'll know it's you.
41
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,910
I don't want your help!
42
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:42,500
I want my husband back!
43
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,510
What's your name, young man?
44
00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:53,090
Eggsy.
45
00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:54,510
Hello, Eggsy.
46
00:03:55,510 --> 00:03:56,930
Can I see that?
47
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,690
You take care of this, Eggsy.
48
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,060
All right?
49
00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:13,610
And take care of your mum, too.
50
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,110
So sorry, Professor Arnold.
Just a tiny bit more.
51
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,780
For God's sakes, just rip it off.
52
00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:04,500
I'm under very strict instructions
not to hurt you.
53
00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:06,910
Look, you've made a mistake.
54
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,830
I'm a university lecturer.
I've got no money.
55
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,460
This isn't about money.
56
00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:13,590
Our boss just wants to talk to you.
57
00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:15,680
Am I meant to find that reassuring?
58
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,960
He'll be here soon. He'll explain.
59
00:05:19,130 --> 00:05:20,760
Do you like whiskey?
60
00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:24,140
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.
61
00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:28,520
Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing.
62
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,650
You will shit.
63
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,340
I suppose asking to borrow
a cup of sugar is a step too far?
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00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:20,200
Professor Arnold,
I'm here to take you home.
65
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,840
1962 Dalmore.
66
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,090
It'd be a sin to spill any.
67
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,210
Don't you think?
68
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,090
Can you hold these? Please?
69
00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:35,350
Thank you.
70
00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,950
Everything is clean.
71
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:52,450
My kind of welcome.
72
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,960
No stomach for violence.
73
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,050
I mean, literally,
I see one drop of blood...
74
00:08:04,210 --> 00:08:06,140
that is me done.
75
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:07,470
I'm like...
76
00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:08,980
projectile.
77
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:11,310
Listen, I'm so sorry...
78
00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:16,850
you had to witness all this unpleasantness
due to our uninvited guest.
79
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:21,150
But I promise you, by the time
I've found out who he works for...
80
00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:25,660
you and I will be the best of friends.
81
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,290
To the shop, please.
82
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,920
Arthur's in the dining room, sir.
83
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,400
Arthur.
84
00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:11,780
Galahad.
85
00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:16,660
The others were beginning to wonder
if we were going to have a double toast.
86
00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:23,340
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to
say it's been 17 years...
87
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,880
since we last had occasion
to use this decanter.
88
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:31,180
Lancelot was an outstanding agent,
and a true Kingsman.
89
00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:32,760
He will be sorely missed.
90
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,310
To Lancelot.
91
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,810
To Lancelot.
92
00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:46,860
I intend to start the selection process
for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow.
93
00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:49,570
I want each of you
to propose a candidate...
94
00:09:49,730 --> 00:09:52,080
and have them report to UK HQ...
95
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,410
no later than 9 p.m. GMT.
96
00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:56,030
Thank you.
97
00:09:58,410 --> 00:09:59,410
Merlin.
98
00:10:00,290 --> 00:10:01,910
Come in.
99
00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:04,970
Lancelot was investigating
a group of mercenaries...
100
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,840
who were experimenting
with biological weaponry.
101
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,080
Glasses, gentlemen, please.
102
00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:14,020
Uganda, 2012.
103
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,680
Synthetic cathinones.
104
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,270
They put it in the water supply
of a guerrilla army base.
105
00:10:19,430 --> 00:10:22,680
Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities.
106
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:25,520
Chechnya, 2013.
107
00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:27,480
Insurgents turned on one another.
108
00:10:27,650 --> 00:10:31,400
Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries,
but no trace of any chemicals of any kind.
109
00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:32,730
So what happened to Lancelot?
110
00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:36,660
He tracked them to this property
in Argentina.
111
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:38,160
While he had them under surveillance...
112
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,170
he became aware
they'd effected a kidnapping.
113
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:45,000
So he executed a solo rescue mission,
which failed.
114
00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:47,380
This is his last transmission.
115
00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:51,930
- Who is he?
- Some climate change doomsayer.
116
00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:53,730
Expounds something
called "Gaia theory"...
117
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,520
about the world healing itself,
or some such.
118
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:59,560
But what's curious,
is he's not actually missing.
119
00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:02,360
This is Professor Arnold...
120
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,560
at Imperial College this morning.
121
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,400
It's all yours.
122
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,860
And don't forget
your membership proposal.
123
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:13,120
Try picking a more suitable
candidate this time.
124
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,150
17 years and still...
125
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,950
evolving with the times remains
an entirely foreign concept to you.
126
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,210
Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for that young man?
127
00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:24,960
He was as much Kingsman
material as any of them.
128
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,340
More so.
129
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,500
But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he?
130
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:33,890
Let's face it, Galahad,
your little experiment failed.
131
00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:38,100
With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.
132
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:39,350
"With respect"?
133
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,730
The world is changing.
134
00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:46,890
There's a reason why aristocrats
developed weak chins.
135
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:06,620
Eggsy?
136
00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:10,590
Eggsy, come here.
137
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,600
- Got any Rizla, babe?
- No.
138
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,800
Why don't you do your mum a favor,
go down to the shop and get some?
139
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:19,260
- Get them yourself.
- Oi.
140
00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:22,100
What have I said to you
about speaking to Dean like that?
141
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:25,730
Three's a crowd, innit?
Why don't Dean's poodle go?
142
00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:27,360
I'll tell you what.
143
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,270
Why don't you take this,
go and get some Rizlas...
144
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,400
get yourself some sweets?
And while you're gone...
145
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,360
we'll show your mother
how three can be good company.
146
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:38,940
Thanks, babe.
147
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,380
There we go.
148
00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:50,540
Is that better?
149
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:07,730
If Dean treats your mum so bad,
why doesn't she leave him?
150
00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:09,860
Low self-esteem. That's her problem.
151
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,780
Fuck off.
Why would she have low self-esteem?
152
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:13,780
Eggsy's mum is well fit.
153
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,280
- No offense, bruv.
- It's all right.
154
00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:19,540
One of these days,
I'm gonna smash his face in.
155
00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:21,120
Are you mental, cuz?
156
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,000
He'd just get that lot to do you,
and then pretend he knew nothing...
157
00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:27,450
...about it.
158
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:30,170
You think you can chat shit about us
and we won't do nothing...
159
00:13:30,330 --> 00:13:32,460
just because our guvnor's
banging Eggsy's mum?
160
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,470
Pretty much, yeah.
161
00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:36,800
Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man.
162
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:37,960
It's not worth it.
163
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:40,640
You boys have outstayed your welcome.
164
00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:41,970
Leave.
165
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:44,720
What?
166
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,310
I'm sorry about that, bruv.
167
00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:51,390
Yeah.
168
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:52,520
Mug.
169
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,820
They weren't fucking worth it, boys.
170
00:13:57,860 --> 00:14:01,160
It's freezing. Why are we walking?
171
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,160
You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv?
172
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,820
Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car.
173
00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:07,830
Shit!
174
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,210
Hold on, boys.
175
00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:19,430
Hey, that's my fucking car!
176
00:14:19,590 --> 00:14:21,840
Hey! Hey! Eggsy!
177
00:14:22,010 --> 00:14:24,050
I swear, you want to fucking stop it!
178
00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:26,770
You're a fucking dead man! Stop it!
179
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,720
I'm gonna fucking have ya!
180
00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:37,360
Floor it, Eggsy!
181
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:38,520
Floor it!
182
00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:40,480
Wanker!
183
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,820
Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me.
184
00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:45,990
Eggsy just stole my fucking car.
185
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,000
I've come out the pub,
he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face...
186
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,710
and he's drove off.
187
00:14:50,870 --> 00:14:53,000
No, I can't have it!
He's disrespecting me.
188
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,380
And that means,
he's disrespecting you.
189
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:58,380
Hold up! What the...?
190
00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:40,250
Dickhead.
191
00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:44,050
Foxes are vermin, cuz.
192
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,640
Should've driven it over.
193
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,770
Should've done a lot of things.
194
00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:49,600
I'll sort this. Get out of the car.
195
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,270
I said, get out of the fucking car!
196
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:04,230
Eggsy, there is no such thing
as honor amongst thieves.
197
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:08,960
Now, you can start giving me some names
of the boys you were with...
198
00:16:09,610 --> 00:16:10,960
or you go down.
199
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:13,170
It's up to you.
200
00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:16,090
I want to exercise
my right to a phone call.
201
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:22,170
Well, I hope it's to your mum...
202
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:25,840
to tell her you're gonna be
18 months late for your dinner.
203
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:59,160
Customer Complaints, how may I help you?
204
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,500
My name's Eggsy Unwin.
205
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:06,170
Sorry, Gary Unwin.
And I'm up shit creek.
206
00:17:06,340 --> 00:17:07,620
I'm in Holborn police station...
207
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,430
and my mum said to call this number
if ever I needed help.
208
00:17:09,590 --> 00:17:12,090
I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.
209
00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:13,600
Wait! Wait!
210
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:17,600
Oxfords not brogues.
211
00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:20,830
Your complaint has been duly noted...
212
00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:24,020
and we hope that we have
not lost you as a loyal customer.
213
00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:36,460
Yeah.
214
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,380
You what?
215
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,750
I...
216
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,210
Yeah.
217
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,540
Yes, I totally understand.
218
00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:07,160
Eggsy.
219
00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:09,270
Would you like a lift home?
220
00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:11,240
Who are you?
221
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,750
The man who got you released.
222
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:14,250
That ain't an answer.
223
00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:16,740
A little gratitude would be nice.
224
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:21,250
My name is Harry Hart,
and I gave you that medal.
225
00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:24,790
Your father saved my life.
226
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:30,210
So before you was a tailor,
was you in the army?
227
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,100
Like an officer.
228
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:33,760
Not quite.
229
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,720
So where was you posted,
Iraq or something?
230
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,140
Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.
231
00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:40,770
But my dad saved your life, yeah?
232
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:45,310
The day your father died,
I missed something.
233
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,560
And if it weren't for his courage...
234
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:50,650
my mistake would have cost the lives
of every man present.
235
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,080
So I owe him.
236
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,290
Your father was a brave man.
237
00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:59,290
A good man.
238
00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:00,610
And having read your files...
239
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:03,220
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed
in the choices you've made.
240
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,490
You can't talk to me like that.
241
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:05,580
Huge I.Q.
242
00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:07,500
Great performance at primary school.
243
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:09,760
And it all went tits up.
244
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,640
Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job.
245
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,470
You think there's a lot of jobs
going around here, do you?
246
00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:16,130
Doesn't explain
why you gave up your hobbies.
247
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,890
First prize,
regional Under-10s gymnastics...
248
00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:20,270
two years in a row.
249
00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:22,650
Your coach had you pegged
as Olympic team material.
250
00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:24,480
Yeah, well, when you grow up around
someone like my stepdad...
251
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,120
you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.
252
00:19:26,270 --> 00:19:27,990
Of course. Always someone else's fault.
253
00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:31,450
Who's to blame
for you quitting the Marines?
254
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,940
You were halfway through training,
doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
255
00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:36,110
Because my mum went mental.
256
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,080
Banging on about losing me
as well as my dad.
257
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,660
Didn't want me being cannon fodder
for snobs like you.
258
00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:44,250
Judging people like me
from your ivory towers...
259
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:46,630
with no thought about
why we do what we do.
260
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,680
We ain't got much choice. You get me?
261
00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:52,530
And if we was born with the same
silver spoon up our arses...
262
00:19:52,670 --> 00:19:55,510
we'd do just as well as you.
If not, better.
263
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,520
What the fuck you doing here?
You taking the piss?
264
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,470
Some more examples of young men...
265
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,360
who simply need a silver suppository?
266
00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:05,020
No, they're exceptions. Come on.
267
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:06,780
Nonsense.
We haven't finished our drinks.
268
00:20:06,810 --> 00:20:07,900
After you nicked his car...
269
00:20:08,060 --> 00:20:09,360
Dean says you're fair game.
270
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,120
He don't give a shit what your mum says.
271
00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:12,530
Listen, boys...
272
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,870
I've had a rather emotional day...
273
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:20,370
so whatever your beef with Eggsy is,
and I'm sure it's well-founded...
274
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,200
I'd appreciate it enormously...
275
00:20:22,370 --> 00:20:24,330
if you could just leave us in peace...
276
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:27,040
until I finish
this lovely pint of Guinness.
277
00:20:30,210 --> 00:20:32,890
You should get out of the way, Granddad,
or you'll get hurt and all.
278
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,390
He ain't joking. You should go.
279
00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:42,390
Excuse me.
280
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:47,300
If you're looking for another rent boy,
they're on the corner of Smith street.
281
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:54,190
Manners...
282
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,700
maketh...
283
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,950
man.
284
00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:10,210
Do you know what that means?
285
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,260
Then let me teach you a lesson.
286
00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:26,140
Are we going to stand around here all day,
or are we going to fight?
287
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,940
You fucking dirty, fucking dirty...
288
00:22:55,190 --> 00:22:56,610
Sorry about that.
289
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:58,520
Needed to let off a little steam.
290
00:22:59,690 --> 00:23:03,190
I heard yesterday a friend of mine died.
291
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,410
He knew your father too, actually.
292
00:23:07,910 --> 00:23:10,030
Now, I do apologize, Eggsy.
293
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,200
I shouldn't have done this
in front of you.
294
00:23:12,370 --> 00:23:14,370
No, please!
I won't say nothing, I swear!
295
00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:16,040
If there's one thing I can do,
it's keep my mouth shut.
296
00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:17,550
- You won't tell a soul?
- Ask the feds.
297
00:23:17,710 --> 00:23:18,870
I've never grassed anyone up.
298
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,220
- Is that a promise?
- On my life!
299
00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:27,230
Much appreciated, Eggsy.
300
00:23:27,380 --> 00:23:29,140
You're right about the snobs.
301
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:31,560
But there, too, there are exceptions.
302
00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:34,270
Best of luck with everything.
303
00:23:48,610 --> 00:23:52,830
In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine
movie premiered in Hollywood last night.
304
00:23:52,990 --> 00:23:55,790
The story of the internet billionaire's
rise to power...
305
00:23:55,950 --> 00:23:58,750
is expected to be
this award season's hot ticket.
306
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,920
One notable absence from the red carpet
was Iggy Azalea...
307
00:24:02,090 --> 00:24:05,590
still missing three days after she failed
to appear at her Oakland concert.
308
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,300
No ransom has been demanded.
309
00:24:07,470 --> 00:24:09,430
Eggsy, just go, please,
because he's gonna...
310
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,100
No, please, don't hurt him!
311
00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:13,980
Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya!
312
00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:15,360
Shut the fuck up!
313
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,640
Who was with you in that fucking pub?
314
00:24:17,810 --> 00:24:19,940
I want to know the name of the geezer
you was with.
315
00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,950
- I wasn't with no one!
- Who was it?
316
00:24:22,110 --> 00:24:23,530
- I don't know what you're on about.
- Who was it?
317
00:24:23,690 --> 00:24:24,820
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
318
00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:26,110
Fucking tell me his name!
319
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,620
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
320
00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:33,830
You listen to me!
321
00:24:33,990 --> 00:24:35,960
I want to know who you was with
in that pub. Do you understand?
322
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,000
I want to know his fucking name!
323
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,130
Because, I swear,
I'll rip your head off.
324
00:24:41,290 --> 00:24:44,340
- Tell me!
- I don't know what you're fucking on about!
325
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:45,550
Just tell him, Eggsy!
326
00:24:45,710 --> 00:24:47,510
Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle!
327
00:24:47,670 --> 00:24:48,970
I could kill you right now...
328
00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:51,640
and no one in the whole world
will notice!
329
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,480
But I would.
330
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,480
I have enough evidence
on your activities...
331
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,640
to have you locked up
for the rest of your life...
332
00:24:57,810 --> 00:25:00,030
- Mr. Dean Anthony Baker.
- What the fuck?
333
00:25:00,230 --> 00:25:01,820
So I suggest you leave the boy alone...
334
00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:05,570
or I shall be forced to deliver it
to the appropriate authorities.
335
00:25:06,570 --> 00:25:09,120
Eggsy, meet me at the tailor
I told you about.
336
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,750
What the fuck's going on here?
337
00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:14,920
Eggsy, you fucking maggot!
338
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,290
Hey, we got a racer!
339
00:25:16,450 --> 00:25:17,920
Come here. Hey!
340
00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:19,750
Eggsy, you fucking...
341
00:25:19,910 --> 00:25:21,210
Come here, son!
342
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:34,730
You wanker!
343
00:25:34,890 --> 00:25:36,510
I'll have you, son!
344
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,960
I've never met a tailor before.
345
00:26:04,790 --> 00:26:06,130
But I know you ain't one.
346
00:26:10,090 --> 00:26:11,760
Come with me.
347
00:26:20,430 --> 00:26:21,730
Come on in.
348
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:28,440
What do you see?
349
00:26:28,730 --> 00:26:31,950
Someone who wants to know
what the fuck is going on.
350
00:26:33,650 --> 00:26:36,000
I see a young man with potential.
351
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,080
A young man who is loyal.
352
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:41,960
Who can do as he's asked.
353
00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:44,920
And who wants to do
something good with his life.
354
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,500
Did you see the film Trading Places?
355
00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:50,600
No.
356
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,510
How about Nikita?
357
00:26:53,590 --> 00:26:54,930
Pretty Woman?
358
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:56,930
All right.
359
00:26:57,090 --> 00:27:00,130
My point is, that the lack of a silver
spoon has set you on a certain path...
360
00:27:00,260 --> 00:27:02,110
but you needn't stay on it.
361
00:27:02,350 --> 00:27:07,200
If you're prepared to adapt and learn,
you can transform.
362
00:27:07,770 --> 00:27:09,610
Like in My Fair Lady.
363
00:27:10,650 --> 00:27:12,700
Well, you're full of surprises.
364
00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:15,660
Yes, like My Fair Lady.
365
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:20,000
Only, in this case, I'm offering you
the opportunity to become a Kingsman.
366
00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:22,000
A tailor?
367
00:27:22,490 --> 00:27:23,790
A Kingsman agent.
368
00:27:25,370 --> 00:27:26,620
Like a spy?
369
00:27:26,830 --> 00:27:27,960
Of sorts.
370
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:30,960
Interested?
371
00:27:31,460 --> 00:27:33,630
You think I've got anything to lose?
372
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,150
Since 1849...
373
00:27:42,310 --> 00:27:46,480
Kingsman tailors have clothed
the world's most powerful individuals.
374
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,320
By 1919, a great number of them
had lost their heirs to World War One.
375
00:27:52,150 --> 00:27:55,490
That meant a lot of money
going uninherited.
376
00:27:55,650 --> 00:27:59,660
And a lot of powerful men with a desire
to preserve peace and protect life.
377
00:27:59,820 --> 00:28:02,750
Our founders realized that they could
channel that wealth and influence...
378
00:28:02,910 --> 00:28:04,540
for the greater good.
379
00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:08,000
And so began our other venture.
380
00:28:08,830 --> 00:28:11,180
An independent,
international intelligence agency...
381
00:28:11,330 --> 00:28:14,680
operating at the highest level
of discretion.
382
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:16,970
Above the politics and bureaucracy...
383
00:28:17,130 --> 00:28:21,310
that undermine the integrity
of government-run spy organizations.
384
00:28:22,050 --> 00:28:24,400
The suit is a modern gentleman's armor.
385
00:28:25,220 --> 00:28:28,320
And the Kingsman agents
are the new knights.
386
00:28:29,390 --> 00:28:30,990
How deep does this fucking thing go?
387
00:28:31,150 --> 00:28:32,190
Deep enough.
388
00:29:16,860 --> 00:29:18,580
Shit, we're late.
389
00:29:43,220 --> 00:29:45,770
Your father had the
same look on his face.
390
00:29:47,430 --> 00:29:48,810
As did I.
391
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,600
Come on.
392
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:55,440
Galahad.
393
00:29:55,610 --> 00:29:56,610
My code name.
394
00:29:56,770 --> 00:29:58,240
Late again, sir.
395
00:29:58,610 --> 00:29:59,910
Good luck.
396
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,620
In you go.
397
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,300
Fall in.
398
00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:19,350
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin.
399
00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:20,600
You are about to embark...
400
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,470
on what is probably the most
dangerous job interview in the world.
401
00:30:24,300 --> 00:30:29,150
One of you, and only one of you,
will become the next Lancelot.
402
00:30:29,930 --> 00:30:33,150
Can anybody tell me what this is?
403
00:30:34,020 --> 00:30:35,650
- Yes?
- Body bag, sir.
404
00:30:35,810 --> 00:30:38,110
Correct. Charlie, isn't it?
405
00:30:38,310 --> 00:30:39,310
Yes, sir.
406
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:40,110
Good.
407
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,650
In a moment,
you will each collect a body bag.
408
00:30:42,820 --> 00:30:44,660
You will write your name on that bag.
409
00:30:44,990 --> 00:30:48,240
You will write the details
of your next of kin on that bag.
410
00:30:48,410 --> 00:30:51,660
This represents your acknowledgment
of the risks that you are about to face...
411
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,120
as well as your agreement
to strict confidentiality.
412
00:30:55,290 --> 00:30:58,340
Which, incidentally, if you break,
will result in you...
413
00:30:58,630 --> 00:31:00,970
and your next of kin...
414
00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:03,010
being in that bag.
415
00:31:04,670 --> 00:31:06,100
Is that understood?
416
00:31:07,590 --> 00:31:08,770
Excellent.
417
00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:10,640
Fall out.
418
00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:20,360
Roxanne. But call me Roxy.
419
00:31:21,110 --> 00:31:22,530
- I'm Eggsy.
- "Eggy"?
420
00:31:22,690 --> 00:31:23,690
No, "Eggsy".
421
00:31:23,820 --> 00:31:25,160
Eggy?
422
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:26,450
Where did they dig you up?
423
00:31:26,610 --> 00:31:28,730
You know we're not allowed
to discuss who proposed us.
424
00:31:28,870 --> 00:31:30,160
No need to bite his head off.
425
00:31:30,330 --> 00:31:32,670
Charlie's only making conversation,
right, Charlie?
426
00:31:33,290 --> 00:31:34,500
I'm Digby.
427
00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:36,460
Digby.
428
00:31:36,620 --> 00:31:38,050
Eggy, this is Rufus.
429
00:31:38,210 --> 00:31:39,710
Rufus, Eggy.
430
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,680
So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge?
431
00:31:45,170 --> 00:31:45,840
Neither.
432
00:31:46,010 --> 00:31:47,300
- Saint Andrews?
- Durham?
433
00:31:47,470 --> 00:31:49,390
No, wait, I think we may have met.
434
00:31:49,550 --> 00:31:53,310
Did you serve me at the McDonald's
in Winchester service station?
435
00:31:53,470 --> 00:31:54,220
No.
436
00:31:54,390 --> 00:31:57,150
But if I had, I would have given you
an extra helping of secret sauce.
437
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,150
It's definitely Saint Andrews.
438
00:32:00,730 --> 00:32:01,900
Just ignore them.
439
00:32:02,070 --> 00:32:03,160
You need a pen?
440
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:04,070
Cheers.
441
00:32:04,230 --> 00:32:05,660
Amelia, isn't it?
442
00:32:05,820 --> 00:32:07,240
Amelia, Eggsy.
443
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,580
Hi, Eggsy.
444
00:32:08,910 --> 00:32:10,660
Don't take any notice of those guys.
445
00:32:10,820 --> 00:32:12,540
That's what I told him.
446
00:32:14,830 --> 00:32:16,050
It's just scare tactics.
447
00:32:16,410 --> 00:32:17,910
Classic army technique.
448
00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:19,250
No one's gonna die.
449
00:32:23,380 --> 00:32:24,600
Shame.
450
00:32:26,710 --> 00:32:28,930
Great. You don't know,
the CIA don't know.
451
00:32:29,090 --> 00:32:31,600
Nobody knows who this guy is?
452
00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:33,350
Fine.
453
00:32:33,510 --> 00:32:34,890
Seriously, it's fine.
454
00:32:35,060 --> 00:32:38,940
Well, it's not really fine,
but it's not why I'm here.
455
00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:42,570
Hell, man, you know me.
Money's not my issue.
456
00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:44,450
I could've retired
straight out of MIT...
457
00:32:44,610 --> 00:32:47,080
fucked off to some island,
let the business run itself.
458
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,990
Nobody told me
to try and save the planet.
459
00:32:50,150 --> 00:32:51,780
I wanted to.
460
00:32:51,950 --> 00:32:55,670
Climate change research, lobbying,
years of study, billions of dollars...
461
00:32:55,830 --> 00:32:57,630
and you know why I quit?
462
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:02,840
Because the last time I checked,
the planet was still fucked.
463
00:33:03,170 --> 00:33:05,670
Hence, my epiphany.
464
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,590
Money won't solve this.
465
00:33:08,970 --> 00:33:11,430
Those idiots
who call themselves politicians...
466
00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:15,640
have buried their heads in the sand
and stood for nothing but re-election.
467
00:33:16,430 --> 00:33:20,780
So I spent the last two years
trying to find a real solution.
468
00:33:21,350 --> 00:33:23,280
And I found it.
469
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,480
Now, if you really want to make
the world a better place...
470
00:33:27,650 --> 00:33:32,120
I suggest you open your fucking ears,
because I'm about to tell it to you.
471
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,170
Go on, Mr. Valentine.
472
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:35,830
I'm still listening.
473
00:33:36,620 --> 00:33:40,500
As long as you agree to all my terms.
474
00:34:28,710 --> 00:34:30,260
All right, no one panic. Listen to me.
475
00:34:30,510 --> 00:34:31,550
Stay calm.
476
00:34:32,380 --> 00:34:33,380
Fuck.
477
00:34:35,220 --> 00:34:36,770
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!
478
00:34:37,050 --> 00:34:38,050
Loo snorkels?
479
00:34:38,180 --> 00:34:39,180
Showerheads!
480
00:34:40,220 --> 00:34:41,220
Showerheads?
481
00:34:41,221 --> 00:34:42,690
She's right. Fucking go!
482
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,110
Hey, hang about,
what's wrong with the fucking door?
483
00:36:10,810 --> 00:36:13,610
Congratulations on completing
your first task.
484
00:36:13,860 --> 00:36:16,530
Charlie, Roxy, well done.
485
00:36:16,690 --> 00:36:18,490
For those of you
who are still confused...
486
00:36:18,650 --> 00:36:20,830
if you can get a breathing tube
around a U-bend of a toilet...
487
00:36:20,990 --> 00:36:22,830
you have an unlimited air supply.
488
00:36:22,990 --> 00:36:25,500
Simple physics, worth remembering.
489
00:36:25,660 --> 00:36:28,960
Eggsy, well done for spotting
that was a two-way mirror.
490
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,120
He's probably seen enough of them.
491
00:36:30,290 --> 00:36:33,170
Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks
off your faces.
492
00:36:33,340 --> 00:36:37,180
Because as far as I'm concerned,
every single one of you has failed.
493
00:36:37,510 --> 00:36:40,560
You all forgot
the most important thing...
494
00:36:41,550 --> 00:36:42,850
teamwork.
495
00:36:57,030 --> 00:36:59,700
So much for classic army technique.
496
00:37:02,870 --> 00:37:04,120
35.
497
00:37:04,780 --> 00:37:06,160
105.
498
00:37:06,790 --> 00:37:09,130
That's it. That's it.
499
00:37:13,710 --> 00:37:14,710
Hello.
500
00:37:15,170 --> 00:37:16,220
Can I help you?
501
00:37:16,380 --> 00:37:19,760
Yes. I have a question
about anthropogenic force.
502
00:37:21,220 --> 00:37:24,350
Really? It's actually quite fascinating.
503
00:37:26,220 --> 00:37:27,900
My colleague died
trying to rescue you...
504
00:37:28,060 --> 00:37:29,900
and I'm sure you saw
how well trained he was...
505
00:37:29,930 --> 00:37:32,570
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped
you and why they let you go.
506
00:37:32,690 --> 00:37:34,440
I have no idea what you're talking...
507
00:37:35,230 --> 00:37:37,480
I'm not supposed to say it, but it was...
508
00:37:37,860 --> 00:37:39,580
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.
509
00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:41,030
Man up!
510
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,810
Fuck that guy, whoever he is.
I'm gonna...
511
00:38:05,340 --> 00:38:07,310
He made me kill Professor Arnold.
512
00:38:07,470 --> 00:38:08,810
I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.
513
00:38:08,970 --> 00:38:10,020
Well, the good news is...
514
00:38:10,180 --> 00:38:11,980
we know the emergency
and surveillance system work.
515
00:38:12,140 --> 00:38:14,110
You know what's not good news?
516
00:38:14,270 --> 00:38:15,990
"My colleague died!"
517
00:38:16,150 --> 00:38:17,570
That's what he said!
518
00:38:17,730 --> 00:38:20,080
This is an organization,
and they're all over us.
519
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,070
- Whoever you spoke to...
- I told you...
520
00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:25,790
I made contact with the KGB, MI6,
Mossad and Beijing.
521
00:38:25,950 --> 00:38:27,550
They all insist he wasn't one of theirs.
522
00:38:27,780 --> 00:38:29,080
Beijing.
523
00:38:29,540 --> 00:38:33,760
So freaky how there's no recognizable name
for the Chinese secret service.
524
00:38:34,210 --> 00:38:36,380
Now, that's what you call
a secret, right?
525
00:38:37,380 --> 00:38:39,130
You know what? Fuck it.
526
00:38:39,590 --> 00:38:41,180
We need to speed things up.
527
00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:42,700
Bring the product release forward.
528
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,680
We're only halfway into production...
529
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,280
and speeding it will cost a fortune.
530
00:38:46,430 --> 00:38:47,720
Do I look like I give a fuck?
531
00:38:47,970 --> 00:38:49,810
Just get it done.
532
00:38:52,310 --> 00:38:54,900
As some of you will
have learned last night...
533
00:38:56,310 --> 00:38:59,530
teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman.
534
00:38:59,690 --> 00:39:03,490
We're here to enhance your skills,
test you to the limit.
535
00:39:03,650 --> 00:39:07,080
Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy.
536
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:09,080
Wherever you go, your dog goes.
537
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,460
You will care for it. You will teach it.
538
00:39:11,620 --> 00:39:14,670
And by the time it's fully trained,
so will you be.
539
00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:17,420
Those of you who are still here,
that is.
540
00:39:17,580 --> 00:39:19,510
Do you understand?
541
00:39:19,710 --> 00:39:21,590
Choose your puppy.
542
00:39:24,260 --> 00:39:25,430
A Doodle?
543
00:39:25,590 --> 00:39:26,590
What?
544
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,270
They're gun dogs.
545
00:39:28,430 --> 00:39:29,930
Oldest working breed.
546
00:39:30,100 --> 00:39:31,890
Easy to train.
547
00:39:32,930 --> 00:39:34,180
A pug?
548
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,230
It's a bulldog, innit?
549
00:39:39,690 --> 00:39:41,090
It'll get bigger, though, won't it?
550
00:39:44,940 --> 00:39:47,070
Shit.
551
00:39:49,070 --> 00:39:52,420
His MRI shows no signs of concussion.
552
00:39:52,580 --> 00:39:55,550
No direct brain trauma at all.
553
00:39:55,870 --> 00:39:57,970
How much longer can he be out?
554
00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,300
That's the million-dollar question.
555
00:39:59,460 --> 00:40:01,300
We don't know
what he was exposed to in there.
556
00:40:01,460 --> 00:40:02,930
What about Harry's footage?
557
00:40:03,090 --> 00:40:04,760
It didn't stream to his home terminal.
558
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:07,890
Encrypted and uncrackable.
559
00:40:08,130 --> 00:40:09,330
If and when he comes around...
560
00:40:09,430 --> 00:40:12,060
you might want to have a word with him
about sharing his password.
561
00:40:12,220 --> 00:40:13,890
Is he gonna be all right?
562
00:40:15,060 --> 00:40:16,730
We need to have patience, Eggsy.
563
00:40:17,140 --> 00:40:18,490
But there's hope, okay?
564
00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:20,780
If I were you,
I'd concentrate on your training.
565
00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:23,110
Make it through the tests.
Make him proud.
566
00:40:30,740 --> 00:40:32,240
Come on, come on, come on!
567
00:40:32,410 --> 00:40:34,500
J.B., come on! Come on!
568
00:40:37,580 --> 00:40:39,580
I'm not coming last because of you.
569
00:40:40,420 --> 00:40:42,920
J.B., I'll shoot you!
Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you!
570
00:40:44,170 --> 00:40:45,840
Merlin said we're not
allowed to hold you.
571
00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:49,510
Bollocks.
572
00:41:32,050 --> 00:41:33,050
Water!
573
00:41:36,310 --> 00:41:37,810
- Come on, then!
- Eggsy, forget it!
574
00:41:37,970 --> 00:41:39,610
What's wrong, mate?
You can't take a joke?
575
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:41,820
Seriously, you'll get thrown out,
and it's just not worth it.
576
00:41:41,980 --> 00:41:43,480
Maybe I don't give a fuck
if I get kicked out!
577
00:41:43,650 --> 00:41:44,990
Do it. Come on, you pleb.
578
00:41:45,150 --> 00:41:46,570
Charlie, fuck off!
579
00:41:48,690 --> 00:41:51,660
Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead.
580
00:41:52,990 --> 00:41:54,080
Come on, J.B.
581
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:55,330
Come on, good boy.
582
00:42:09,130 --> 00:42:11,510
You have exactly one hour
to complete the test...
583
00:42:11,670 --> 00:42:13,220
starting now.
584
00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:17,050
New target, 800 meters.
585
00:42:17,220 --> 00:42:18,850
You know, it's unbelievable.
You're still here...
586
00:42:19,010 --> 00:42:22,520
lingering like some
big, steaming shit that just won't flush.
587
00:42:22,690 --> 00:42:24,190
Roger that. Target identified.
588
00:42:24,350 --> 00:42:26,360
And how about you shut the fuck up?
589
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:27,650
Positive discrimination...
590
00:42:27,820 --> 00:42:29,240
that's what it is.
591
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,570
It's like those fucking state school kids
who get into Oxford on C grades...
592
00:42:32,740 --> 00:42:34,380
because their mum
is a one-legged lesbian.
593
00:42:34,530 --> 00:42:36,130
You don't know fuck all about my grades.
594
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,080
Forgive me,
I'm sure you're highly educated.
595
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:39,710
Fire when ready.
596
00:42:41,870 --> 00:42:43,870
How's that for positive discrimination?
597
00:42:56,550 --> 00:42:58,350
I want to thank you both
for listening...
598
00:42:58,510 --> 00:43:01,610
and I really, really appreciate
you travelling all this way...
599
00:43:01,770 --> 00:43:02,770
Your Royal Highness.
600
00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:04,730
And you, too, Prime Minister.
601
00:43:04,890 --> 00:43:07,900
I think this is quite brilliant.
602
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,900
It's absolutely brilliant.
603
00:43:11,690 --> 00:43:14,540
You are completely crazy.
604
00:43:16,570 --> 00:43:18,120
And as for you, Prime Minister
605
00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:20,460
I'm speechless you'd even consider this.
606
00:43:25,750 --> 00:43:28,720
- Don't touch...
- Sorry, Your Royal Highness.
607
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:29,920
But you've got a big role to play...
608
00:43:30,090 --> 00:43:32,630
in getting the Scandinavian
region back on track.
609
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,310
You're popular, inspirational...
610
00:43:34,470 --> 00:43:36,930
and you have the power
to galvanize the people.
611
00:43:37,090 --> 00:43:39,940
Now, whether you're on board or not...
612
00:43:40,100 --> 00:43:41,720
I'm going to have to insist...
613
00:43:41,890 --> 00:43:44,770
on getting you somewhere
I can ensure your safety.
614
00:43:45,270 --> 00:43:47,490
How about you, Prime Minister?
You in or out?
615
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:49,940
Well, I think it's about time...
616
00:43:50,110 --> 00:43:54,780
that a politician did something
that actually made a difference.
617
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,120
Too true.
618
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:58,280
What?
619
00:43:58,281 --> 00:43:59,620
Take her away.
620
00:44:03,290 --> 00:44:04,290
Drink?
621
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:06,620
Why not?
622
00:44:08,540 --> 00:44:10,510
Guards! Help!
623
00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:11,340
Don't worry.
624
00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:12,970
No harm will come to the princess.
625
00:44:13,460 --> 00:44:17,590
Well, I'm a republican anyways,
so it really doesn't matter.
626
00:44:19,130 --> 00:44:20,130
Release the princess!
627
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,010
Okay, you're done.
628
00:44:55,170 --> 00:44:56,670
Not so bad, right?
629
00:44:57,210 --> 00:44:59,060
Hardly felt a thing.
630
00:44:59,340 --> 00:45:00,840
Welcome aboard.
631
00:45:01,300 --> 00:45:03,150
Pleasure is all mine.
632
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:10,480
Ever heard of knocking?
633
00:45:11,690 --> 00:45:13,130
Only when I'm casing a place to rob.
634
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:15,840
Merlin said you wanted to see me?
635
00:45:16,980 --> 00:45:19,030
I hope J.B.'s training
is going as well as yours is.
636
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:20,370
Sit.
637
00:45:22,870 --> 00:45:25,740
Congratulations on making it
to the final six candidates.
638
00:45:25,910 --> 00:45:28,410
Your test results were even better
than I could've hoped.
639
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:32,210
Come in.
640
00:45:36,380 --> 00:45:39,050
Eggsy, I need to have
a private conversation.
641
00:45:39,210 --> 00:45:40,210
You're dismissed.
642
00:45:40,340 --> 00:45:42,060
Nonsense. Let him observe.
643
00:45:42,260 --> 00:45:43,890
Might learn a thing or two.
644
00:45:44,390 --> 00:45:46,390
As you wish. Take a look at this.
645
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:48,350
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.
646
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:49,520
Man up!
647
00:45:50,020 --> 00:45:51,740
Fucking hell!
648
00:45:51,890 --> 00:45:53,860
That is rank, Harry.
649
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:55,910
You blew up his head?
650
00:45:56,070 --> 00:45:57,530
It's a bit much, innit?
651
00:45:57,690 --> 00:46:01,370
Actually, the explosion was caused
by an implant in his neck.
652
00:46:01,570 --> 00:46:03,070
Here, under the scar.
653
00:46:03,410 --> 00:46:05,910
Did my hardware
pick up the signal that triggered it?
654
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,580
Fortunately, yes.
655
00:46:07,910 --> 00:46:09,880
Unfortunately,
the IP address I traced it to...
656
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,260
is registered
to the Valentine Corporation.
657
00:46:12,410 --> 00:46:15,260
That's not much of a lead.
He has millions of employees worldwide.
658
00:46:15,420 --> 00:46:17,590
That Richmond Valentine is a genius.
659
00:46:21,220 --> 00:46:23,390
Did you not see his announcement today?
660
00:46:24,090 --> 00:46:25,270
No.
661
00:46:29,310 --> 00:46:32,900
We each spend on average
$2,000 a year...
662
00:46:33,060 --> 00:46:34,940
on cell phone and internet usage.
663
00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:38,230
It gives me great pleasure
to announce...
664
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,950
those days are over.
665
00:46:41,110 --> 00:46:42,160
As of tomorrow...
666
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:46,170
every man, woman and child
can claim a free SIM card...
667
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:50,450
compatible with any cell phone,
any computer...
668
00:46:50,620 --> 00:46:54,800
and utilize my communications network
for free.
669
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,300
Free calls...
670
00:46:56,460 --> 00:46:57,960
free internet...
671
00:46:58,130 --> 00:46:59,630
for everyone.
672
00:47:00,630 --> 00:47:01,970
Forever.
673
00:47:17,810 --> 00:47:20,490
Valentine's assistant
has the same implant scar.
674
00:47:20,980 --> 00:47:23,660
I think Mr. Valentine and I
should have a tête-à-tête.
675
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,630
He's having a gala dinner next week.
676
00:47:29,780 --> 00:47:32,630
I'll get you an invitation.
You need to be careful, though.
677
00:47:32,830 --> 00:47:34,800
Since you've been out,
hundreds of VIPs have gone missing.
678
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:37,330
No ransom notes,
exactly like Professor Arnold.
679
00:47:37,670 --> 00:47:41,390
Then I suggest you make my alias
somebody worth kidnapping.
680
00:47:54,180 --> 00:47:55,360
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
681
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:56,690
What, don't like heights?
682
00:47:56,850 --> 00:47:57,850
Yeah, it's okay.
683
00:47:58,060 --> 00:48:01,690
I've done it before, which is probably why,
come to think of it.
684
00:48:02,980 --> 00:48:04,860
Hey, it's gonna be all right.
685
00:48:05,030 --> 00:48:06,500
You're top of the class.
686
00:48:08,490 --> 00:48:09,710
Listen up.
687
00:48:09,870 --> 00:48:12,660
Your mission is to land in the target
without the radar detecting you.
688
00:48:12,830 --> 00:48:16,500
If I read you on the radar,
or you miss the target, you go home.
689
00:48:16,870 --> 00:48:18,040
Is that understood?
690
00:48:21,540 --> 00:48:24,170
Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds.
691
00:48:25,510 --> 00:48:26,930
We gotta go.
692
00:48:36,180 --> 00:48:38,060
Eggsy, I really don't think
I can do this.
693
00:48:38,230 --> 00:48:39,230
Of course you can't.
694
00:48:39,390 --> 00:48:41,150
Head to the back
and I'll show you how, yeah?
695
00:48:49,240 --> 00:48:51,240
Eggsy, wait! Hang on!
696
00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:53,740
Roxy, just stop fucking about!
697
00:48:55,370 --> 00:48:56,370
Follow me, yeah?
698
00:49:10,430 --> 00:49:12,270
Come on!
699
00:49:13,550 --> 00:49:15,600
Roxy, it's now or never.
700
00:49:16,890 --> 00:49:18,110
Jump!
701
00:49:36,740 --> 00:49:38,090
Good girl, Rox...
702
00:49:38,250 --> 00:49:39,840
I'm glad you made it!
703
00:49:52,630 --> 00:49:54,310
Yeah!
704
00:49:54,970 --> 00:49:55,970
Come on!
705
00:49:58,350 --> 00:50:00,480
My, my, you're all very cheerful.
706
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:02,920
Did you really think it was gonna be
that straightforward?
707
00:50:02,980 --> 00:50:05,360
Any idiot can read a heads-up display.
708
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:09,200
A Kingsman agent needs to be able
to solve problems under pressure.
709
00:50:09,780 --> 00:50:13,280
Like what to do when one of
your group has no parachute.
710
00:50:14,660 --> 00:50:16,330
- What, no parachute?
- Shit!
711
00:50:16,700 --> 00:50:17,830
Who?
712
00:50:17,990 --> 00:50:18,990
Fuck!
713
00:50:18,990 --> 00:50:19,990
Which one?
714
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,540
What do we do?
715
00:50:21,710 --> 00:50:23,130
I told you. Aim for the target.
716
00:50:23,290 --> 00:50:24,540
Come in under the radar.
717
00:50:24,710 --> 00:50:26,680
And I hope not to be scraping
one of you up.
718
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:30,010
But if I do have to,
and you're inside the target...
719
00:50:30,510 --> 00:50:32,220
please know I'll be very impressed.
720
00:50:32,380 --> 00:50:33,800
- Fuck!
- Oh, shit!
721
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,350
Everybody listen, I've got a plan!
722
00:50:41,060 --> 00:50:44,030
Pair off!
Grab the closest person to them.
723
00:50:46,690 --> 00:50:47,860
Rufus, come on!
724
00:50:48,070 --> 00:50:49,070
Fuck!
725
00:50:49,860 --> 00:50:50,860
Rufus!
726
00:50:51,190 --> 00:50:52,370
Shit! I can't!
727
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:57,200
Fuck!
728
00:50:58,240 --> 00:50:59,370
Thank God!
729
00:50:59,530 --> 00:51:01,380
Rufus, you wanker!
730
00:51:02,580 --> 00:51:04,000
Shit, we're an odd number now!
731
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:06,170
Quick, make a circle!
732
00:51:06,330 --> 00:51:08,050
Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it.
733
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,850
We pull our cords one by one!
734
00:51:15,010 --> 00:51:16,230
When we know who's fucked...
735
00:51:16,390 --> 00:51:17,870
the person on their right grabs them.
736
00:51:19,510 --> 00:51:20,770
Okay, Eggsy.
737
00:51:21,220 --> 00:51:22,220
Good plan, Eggsy.
738
00:51:22,390 --> 00:51:24,560
You have 30 seconds.
Come on now, hurry.
739
00:51:24,730 --> 00:51:25,730
Me first!
740
00:51:28,230 --> 00:51:29,230
Fuck!
741
00:51:29,231 --> 00:51:30,570
Yes!
742
00:51:32,610 --> 00:51:35,030
Okay, me next.
743
00:51:37,030 --> 00:51:38,580
See you on the ground, boys.
744
00:51:42,410 --> 00:51:43,410
Now me.
745
00:51:47,290 --> 00:51:48,290
Fuck!
746
00:51:52,750 --> 00:51:53,550
Roxy...
747
00:51:53,710 --> 00:51:55,750
No matter what happens now,
I've got you, all right?
748
00:51:59,260 --> 00:52:00,560
Okay, Eggsy.
749
00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:01,890
- Yours first, okay?
- Yep.
750
00:52:15,070 --> 00:52:16,070
Shit!
751
00:52:23,740 --> 00:52:25,000
Shit!
752
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,120
Shit!
753
00:52:29,790 --> 00:52:30,790
Rox!
754
00:52:34,250 --> 00:52:35,350
Fuck.
755
00:52:51,690 --> 00:52:53,860
Hugo, Digby
756
00:52:54,020 --> 00:52:56,820
You don't land in the K,
you're not in the K.
757
00:52:56,990 --> 00:52:59,330
Rufus, you opened too soon.
758
00:52:59,490 --> 00:53:00,830
You were all over the radar.
759
00:53:00,990 --> 00:53:02,830
All three of you,
pack your bags, go home.
760
00:53:04,950 --> 00:53:07,170
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations.
761
00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:09,120
You set a new record.
762
00:53:09,290 --> 00:53:10,510
Opening at 300 feet...
763
00:53:10,670 --> 00:53:11,710
that's pretty ballsy.
764
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,380
Well done for completing another task.
Fall out.
765
00:53:15,500 --> 00:53:16,510
Sorry, sir.
766
00:53:16,670 --> 00:53:18,340
But why the fuck did you
choose me as the gimp?
767
00:53:18,510 --> 00:53:19,720
Am I the expendable candidate?
768
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,480
No, no, no.
You don't talk to me like that.
769
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,200
You have a complaint, you come here
and you whisper it in my ear.
770
00:53:31,690 --> 00:53:34,410
You need to take
that chip off your shoulder.
771
00:54:05,390 --> 00:54:07,890
Mr. DeVere.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
772
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:11,230
I'm awfully sorry.
I seem to have my dates muddled up.
773
00:54:11,390 --> 00:54:14,270
No, no, no.
I cancelled the gala because of you.
774
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,400
Anybody willing to donate that much...
775
00:54:16,570 --> 00:54:18,740
deserves their own dinner.
Come in!
776
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:21,360
Thank you.
777
00:54:23,240 --> 00:54:25,740
Got to admit,
I was really intrigued to meet you.
778
00:54:25,910 --> 00:54:27,750
There aren't many billionaires
I don't know.
779
00:54:27,910 --> 00:54:28,910
I don't doubt it.
780
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:32,080
And, obviously,
I had my people look into your affairs...
781
00:54:32,250 --> 00:54:34,010
and that's some pretty old money
you're from.
782
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:35,120
How'd your folks make it?
783
00:54:35,580 --> 00:54:38,590
Property, mostly.
Property and the markets.
784
00:54:38,750 --> 00:54:40,800
Nothing questionable,
if that's your concern.
785
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:43,720
Look, I'm just into finding out
what caliber person you are.
786
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,040
I'm sure you understand that.
787
00:54:45,260 --> 00:54:46,310
I most certainly do.
788
00:54:46,470 --> 00:54:47,970
- Hope you're hungry.
- I'm famished.
789
00:54:48,140 --> 00:54:49,190
Good.
790
00:54:49,260 --> 00:54:50,270
Grab a seat.
791
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:13,240
I'll have the Big Mac, please.
792
00:55:13,290 --> 00:55:14,460
Great choice.
793
00:55:14,620 --> 00:55:18,050
But nothing beats two cheeseburgers
with secret sauce.
794
00:55:18,210 --> 00:55:20,010
Goes great with this '45 Lafite.
795
00:55:20,170 --> 00:55:21,170
A classic pairing.
796
00:55:21,590 --> 00:55:24,590
And may I suggest Twinkies
and a 1937 Château d'Yquem for pudding?
797
00:55:25,430 --> 00:55:26,800
I like it.
798
00:55:27,390 --> 00:55:31,190
So, you want to donate to my foundation.
799
00:55:31,350 --> 00:55:34,690
You are aware that I wound things
down in that area, right?
800
00:55:34,850 --> 00:55:37,780
Climate change is a threat,
which affects us all, Mr. Valentine.
801
00:55:37,940 --> 00:55:41,070
And you're one of the few powerful men
who seems to share my concerns.
802
00:55:41,230 --> 00:55:43,910
No, I shut things down,
because I wasn't getting anywhere.
803
00:55:44,070 --> 00:55:46,910
Every bit of research
kept pointing to the same thing.
804
00:55:47,070 --> 00:55:48,450
That carbon emissions
are a red herring...
805
00:55:48,620 --> 00:55:52,290
and that we're past the point of no return
no matter what remedial actions we take?
806
00:55:52,660 --> 00:55:54,290
You know your shit.
807
00:55:54,450 --> 00:55:58,050
I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance
of those less well versed in their...
808
00:55:58,580 --> 00:55:59,800
"shit."
809
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:02,380
As Professor Arnold always said...
810
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,390
"Humankind is the only virus
cursed to live...
811
00:56:05,550 --> 00:56:08,800
"with the horrifying knowledge
of its host's fragile mortality."
812
00:56:10,050 --> 00:56:12,600
You know, not a lot of people
knew about him.
813
00:56:15,310 --> 00:56:17,690
You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere?
814
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:24,410
Nowadays, they're all a little
serious for my taste.
815
00:56:24,570 --> 00:56:25,570
But the old ones...
816
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:27,570
Marvelous.
817
00:56:27,740 --> 00:56:29,990
Give me a far-fetched
theatrical plot any day.
818
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:33,660
The old Bond movies. Oh, man!
819
00:56:33,830 --> 00:56:37,380
When I was a kid, that was my dream job.
820
00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:39,760
Gentleman spy.
821
00:56:40,130 --> 00:56:43,470
I always felt the old Bond films
were only as good as the villain.
822
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:47,970
As a child, I rather fancied a future
as a colorful megalomaniac.
823
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,140
What a shame we both had to grow up.
824
00:56:57,770 --> 00:56:58,980
Bon appétit.
825
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:04,490
Just give me a couple of days
to think over your proposal.
826
00:57:04,650 --> 00:57:06,240
I'll have my people
get in touch with yours...
827
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:07,900
and it's all good.
828
00:57:08,070 --> 00:57:11,620
And thank you for such a happy meal.
829
00:57:16,950 --> 00:57:18,330
Well, want me to follow him?
830
00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:19,620
Nah.
831
00:57:19,910 --> 00:57:22,380
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine.
832
00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:25,550
We'll know his every move
for the next 24 hours.
833
00:57:25,710 --> 00:57:28,260
Finally find out who he works for.
834
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:31,810
Valentine didn't let me
out of his sight.
835
00:57:31,970 --> 00:57:34,470
All I got was this on the way in.
836
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,700
South Glade Mission Church
is a hate group based in Kentucky.
837
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,160
FBI have been monitoring them for years.
838
00:57:44,310 --> 00:57:46,110
But you think Valentine is a supporter?
839
00:57:46,270 --> 00:57:49,570
No evidence yet of a direct connection,
but I'll keep looking.
840
00:57:50,450 --> 00:57:51,820
By the way...
841
00:57:51,990 --> 00:57:57,040
our ever-growing list of missing persons
now includes Scandinavian royalty.
842
00:57:57,450 --> 00:58:00,170
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.
843
00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:05,090
Just let me out, you psycho!
844
00:58:05,250 --> 00:58:08,100
I told you, you're free to go
any time you want.
845
00:58:08,250 --> 00:58:10,510
As long as you agree to my conditions.
846
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:12,550
I don't agree...
847
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,440
and I am never ever going to agree!
848
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:16,850
Tough shit.
849
00:58:17,260 --> 00:58:18,260
Bitch.
850
00:58:20,430 --> 00:58:22,190
I want to speak to the British Council!
851
00:58:22,810 --> 00:58:27,240
The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries
has continued to grow in recent weeks...
852
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:31,280
and world leaders are coming under
increasing pressure to provide answers.
853
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:35,200
We are doing everything in our power
to find Princess Tilde.
854
00:58:35,370 --> 00:58:38,540
You know, governments and
security forces worldwide...
855
00:58:38,700 --> 00:58:42,420
are working together to find the person
behind these abductions.
856
00:58:42,580 --> 00:58:44,260
In other news,
people all over the world...
857
00:58:44,420 --> 00:58:48,800
continue to wait in line day and night
to get their free SIM cards.
858
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,430
Mrs. P, did you get one?
859
00:58:51,590 --> 00:58:54,180
Yeah, I've been queuing up all day.
860
00:58:54,340 --> 00:58:58,600
This unprecedented giveaway
by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine...
861
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:01,610
has already seen
over a billion cards distributed.
862
00:59:01,770 --> 00:59:02,980
At ease.
863
00:59:05,150 --> 00:59:07,570
So you thought we were done
for the day, huh?
864
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:09,570
Well, we're not.
865
00:59:11,190 --> 00:59:13,190
- A party?
- Tonight, in London.
866
00:59:14,950 --> 00:59:17,290
- Who's this?
- Your target.
867
00:59:17,450 --> 00:59:19,420
Your mission
is to use your NLP training...
868
00:59:19,580 --> 00:59:22,020
to win over the individual
on the photograph in your envelope.
869
00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:23,620
And when I say "win over"...
870
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:25,580
I do mean in the biblical sense.
871
00:59:25,750 --> 00:59:26,920
Easy.
872
00:59:27,830 --> 00:59:29,880
Posh girls love a bit of rough.
873
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:31,670
We'll see about that, yeah?
874
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,760
We certainly will.
875
00:59:38,970 --> 00:59:39,970
Hi!
876
00:59:40,100 --> 00:59:43,400
Sorry, I just had to come over
and say, amazing eyes.
877
00:59:43,770 --> 00:59:45,010
Are you wearing color contacts?
878
00:59:45,140 --> 00:59:47,360
- No!
- You so are.
879
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,900
Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious.
880
00:59:50,060 --> 00:59:52,100
I haven't heard anyone try that
since the noughties.
881
00:59:52,110 --> 00:59:53,230
Excuse me?
882
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:54,400
"Negging."
883
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:58,420
Saying something negative to a pretty girl
in order to undermine her social value.
884
00:59:58,570 --> 01:00:00,620
It's supposed to make you
want to win his approval.
885
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,250
Absurdly basic
neuro-linguistic programming technique.
886
01:00:04,410 --> 01:00:06,540
Is it just me, or does this champagne
taste a little bit funny?
887
01:00:06,710 --> 01:00:08,580
- It's an acquired taste, mate.
- I think it's just cheap.
888
01:00:08,750 --> 01:00:10,590
Get one of these instead.
They're delicious.
889
01:00:10,750 --> 01:00:13,470
If you're into seduction techniques,
this guy is textbook.
890
01:00:13,630 --> 01:00:16,380
See what he just did?
It's called an opinion opener.
891
01:00:16,550 --> 01:00:18,050
He got you talking
with a neutral question...
892
01:00:18,220 --> 01:00:19,980
got all of us involved
in the conversation...
893
01:00:20,090 --> 01:00:21,770
so that you craved individual attention.
894
01:00:22,470 --> 01:00:23,820
No, I'm just saying
the champagne tastes rank.
895
01:00:23,970 --> 01:00:25,730
Lady Sophie Montague-Herring.
896
01:00:25,890 --> 01:00:27,190
Phone call for you at reception.
897
01:00:27,350 --> 01:00:29,190
- Be right back.
- We'll see you in a bit, yeah?
898
01:00:29,230 --> 01:00:30,610
See you in a bit.
899
01:00:30,770 --> 01:00:32,620
Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough.
900
01:00:32,770 --> 01:00:34,280
- Are you all right?
- No.
901
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:35,490
Sorry to eavesdrop...
902
01:00:35,650 --> 01:00:39,200
but there's a much easier way
to guarantee getting someone home.
903
01:00:39,410 --> 01:00:40,950
Rohypnol.
904
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:44,870
Or even something stronger.
905
01:01:02,430 --> 01:01:04,100
Who the fuck are you?
906
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:06,100
Where am I?
907
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:09,690
This knife...
908
01:01:09,850 --> 01:01:11,900
can save your life.
909
01:01:16,150 --> 01:01:17,150
Fuck!
910
01:01:17,570 --> 01:01:20,370
My employer's got two questions
for you, Eggsy.
911
01:01:20,530 --> 01:01:22,410
What the fuck is Kingsman?
912
01:01:22,570 --> 01:01:24,200
And who's Harry Hart?
913
01:01:24,370 --> 01:01:26,210
I don't know who the fuck that is!
914
01:01:26,370 --> 01:01:27,170
Shit!
915
01:01:27,330 --> 01:01:31,130
Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends
who gave me the same bullshit answer!
916
01:01:31,750 --> 01:01:32,750
Fuck!
917
01:01:33,130 --> 01:01:35,680
Just cut the fucking ropes, please!
918
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:36,880
Hey, Eggsy!
919
01:01:37,050 --> 01:01:38,390
Is Kingsman worth dying for?
920
01:01:40,590 --> 01:01:41,970
Fuck you!
921
01:01:56,270 --> 01:01:57,570
Congratulations.
922
01:01:57,730 --> 01:01:58,950
Bloody well done.
923
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:02,830
How did the others do?
924
01:02:02,990 --> 01:02:04,790
Roxy passed with flying colors.
925
01:02:05,330 --> 01:02:07,580
Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
926
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,460
Yeah, all right.
927
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:15,010
Is Kingsman really worth dying for?
928
01:02:15,170 --> 01:02:16,510
No, it fucking isn't!
929
01:02:16,670 --> 01:02:18,510
Shit, I'll tell you what you want.
Please!
930
01:02:18,670 --> 01:02:19,970
Chester King is Arthur.
931
01:02:20,130 --> 01:02:22,350
Arthur's head of a spy agency.
It's called Kingsman.
932
01:02:22,510 --> 01:02:24,190
- Get me out of here!
- Thank you, Charlie.
933
01:02:24,220 --> 01:02:25,560
Much appreciated.
934
01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:28,100
Come on!
That wasn't the fucking deal!
935
01:02:28,510 --> 01:02:30,810
Fuck!
936
01:02:37,820 --> 01:02:40,110
I had such high hopes for you.
937
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,240
You're a bloody disgrace.
938
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:43,400
Arthur, I'm sorry.
939
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:45,580
At least untie me.
940
01:02:45,910 --> 01:02:47,250
Untie yourself.
941
01:02:48,910 --> 01:02:51,080
Arthur, please.
942
01:02:52,410 --> 01:02:54,960
I'm the fucking son of the... Shit!
943
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,630
Anyone? Hello?
944
01:02:57,790 --> 01:03:00,340
Galahad, Percival, congratulations.
945
01:03:00,630 --> 01:03:03,430
Your candidates have reached
the final stage of the testing process.
946
01:03:03,590 --> 01:03:07,140
As tradition allows,
you now have 24 hours to spend with them.
947
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:10,940
Eggsy, you should know your
father reached this point.
948
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:12,680
From now on...
949
01:03:13,140 --> 01:03:14,620
there are no safety nets, understood?
950
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:19,480
Good. Dismissed.
951
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,450
Charlie, time to go home.
952
01:03:25,610 --> 01:03:26,960
Fuck you.
953
01:03:27,370 --> 01:03:29,620
Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!
954
01:03:31,790 --> 01:03:32,790
"To pee or not to pee?"
955
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:36,040
That was the headline...
956
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,800
the day after I defused
a dirty bomb in Paris.
957
01:03:39,290 --> 01:03:40,970
"Germany, 1, England, 5."
958
01:03:41,130 --> 01:03:42,220
Missed that game.
959
01:03:42,380 --> 01:03:45,350
I was breaking up an undercover
spy ring at the Pentagon.
960
01:03:50,850 --> 01:03:52,140
My first mission.
961
01:03:52,310 --> 01:03:54,110
Foiled the assassination
of Margaret Thatcher.
962
01:03:55,310 --> 01:03:56,990
Not everybody would
thank you for that one.
963
01:03:57,060 --> 01:03:59,810
The point is, Eggsy,
nobody thanked me for any of them.
964
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:04,030
Front page news on all these occasions
was celebrity nonsense.
965
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:07,870
Because it's the nature of Kingsman
that our achievements remain secret.
966
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:11,670
A gentleman's name should appear
in the newspaper only three times.
967
01:04:11,830 --> 01:04:14,170
When he's born, when he marries,
and when he dies.
968
01:04:14,330 --> 01:04:17,500
And we are, first and foremost,
gentlemen.
969
01:04:17,830 --> 01:04:19,180
That's me fucked then.
970
01:04:20,170 --> 01:04:22,050
It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb.
971
01:04:22,210 --> 01:04:23,210
Nonsense.
972
01:04:23,380 --> 01:04:26,300
Being a gentleman has nothing to do
with the circumstances of one's birth.
973
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,680
Being a gentleman
is something one learns.
974
01:04:29,430 --> 01:04:31,270
Yeah, but how?
975
01:04:32,180 --> 01:04:33,430
All right, first lesson.
976
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:35,400
You should've asked me
before you took a seat.
977
01:04:36,890 --> 01:04:38,020
Second lesson...
978
01:04:39,020 --> 01:04:40,360
how to make a proper martini.
979
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:43,450
Yes, Harry.
980
01:04:46,030 --> 01:04:49,080
Goddamn it! This fucking hurts!
981
01:04:49,570 --> 01:04:52,080
You're the one who asked
for a biometric security system.
982
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:53,370
What's wrong with a simple switch?
983
01:04:53,530 --> 01:04:54,540
A simple switch?
984
01:04:54,700 --> 01:04:58,380
This is an extremely dangerous machine.
985
01:04:58,540 --> 01:05:03,090
It should only be operated by someone
as responsible and sane as me.
986
01:05:03,290 --> 01:05:05,550
Bad shit could happen
if this falls into the wrong hands.
987
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:10,430
We done here? Shit!
988
01:05:10,590 --> 01:05:13,220
No. Now this one.
989
01:05:13,390 --> 01:05:14,470
For the test at the church.
990
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:16,440
This one just has a short range.
991
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:18,150
A simple switch will do.
992
01:05:24,110 --> 01:05:26,990
So are you gonna teach me how to
talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?
993
01:05:27,150 --> 01:05:28,620
Don't be absurd.
994
01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:31,450
Being a gentleman has nothing
to do with one's accent.
995
01:05:31,610 --> 01:05:33,910
It's about being at ease
in one's own skin.
996
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:35,620
As Hemingway said,
"There is nothing noble...
997
01:05:35,790 --> 01:05:38,160
"in being superior to your fellow man.
998
01:05:38,580 --> 01:05:42,080
"True nobility is being superior
to your former self."
999
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:49,140
Now, the first thing every
gentleman needs is a good suit.
1000
01:05:49,300 --> 01:05:52,600
By which I mean, a bespoke suit.
Never off-the-peg.
1001
01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:55,140
And Kingsman suits
are always bulletproof.
1002
01:05:55,300 --> 01:05:58,100
So let's get you measured,
and then, whether you get the job or not...
1003
01:05:58,270 --> 01:06:02,650
you'll have a lasting and useful memento
of your time at Kingsman.
1004
01:06:02,810 --> 01:06:06,440
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman
is completing his fitting.
1005
01:06:06,610 --> 01:06:08,780
Fitting Room Two is available.
1006
01:06:08,940 --> 01:06:12,950
One does not use Fitting Room Two
when one is popping one's cherry.
1007
01:06:14,030 --> 01:06:16,830
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three
while we wait.
1008
01:06:27,210 --> 01:06:28,460
So we going up or down?
1009
01:06:28,630 --> 01:06:29,800
Neither.
1010
01:06:31,050 --> 01:06:32,050
Is this it?
1011
01:06:32,220 --> 01:06:35,310
Of course not.
Pull the hook on your left.
1012
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:43,560
Oh, yes.
1013
01:06:43,810 --> 01:06:45,980
Very, very nice.
1014
01:06:49,030 --> 01:06:51,530
You're going to need a pair of shoes
to go with your suit.
1015
01:06:51,690 --> 01:06:55,820
An oxford is any formal shoe
with open lacing.
1016
01:06:55,990 --> 01:06:59,210
This additional decorative piece
is called broguing.
1017
01:06:59,370 --> 01:07:00,540
"Oxfords not brogues."
1018
01:07:00,700 --> 01:07:02,330
Words to live by, Eggsy.
1019
01:07:02,540 --> 01:07:05,170
Words to live by. Try a pair.
1020
01:07:05,920 --> 01:07:07,680
Your weapon scores are excellent,
by the way.
1021
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:12,090
These you are familiar with,
and this is our standard issue pistol.
1022
01:07:12,260 --> 01:07:13,880
It's quite unique, as you'll see.
1023
01:07:14,050 --> 01:07:17,400
It also fires a shotgun cartridge
for use in messy close-range situations.
1024
01:07:17,550 --> 01:07:19,020
- How do they feel?
- Yeah, good.
1025
01:07:19,180 --> 01:07:20,520
Now do your very best impersonation...
1026
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:22,350
of a German aristocrat's
formal greeting.
1027
01:07:25,900 --> 01:07:27,110
No, Eggsy.
1028
01:07:31,230 --> 01:07:32,490
That is sick.
1029
01:07:33,530 --> 01:07:35,650
In the old days,
they had a phone in the heel as well.
1030
01:07:35,660 --> 01:07:36,700
How do I get it back in?
1031
01:07:36,860 --> 01:07:40,740
Well, it's coated in one of the fastest
acting neurotoxins known to man...
1032
01:07:40,910 --> 01:07:42,410
so very carefully.
1033
01:07:44,330 --> 01:07:48,050
Now, I've had a lot of fun with this.
1034
01:07:48,210 --> 01:07:51,210
One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering.
1035
01:07:51,380 --> 01:07:53,880
A poison, harmless when ingested...
1036
01:07:54,050 --> 01:07:55,930
but at a time convenient to you...
1037
01:07:56,090 --> 01:08:00,100
can be remotely activated. Primed.
1038
01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:02,560
Lethal.
1039
01:08:03,770 --> 01:08:05,890
What about these? What do these do?
1040
01:08:06,270 --> 01:08:08,240
- Electrocute you?
- Don't be ridiculous.
1041
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:10,240
- It's a hand grenade.
- Shut up!
1042
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:12,840
If you want to electrocute someone,
you'll need a signet ring.
1043
01:08:12,860 --> 01:08:14,950
A gentleman traditionally
wears the signet on his left hand.
1044
01:08:15,110 --> 01:08:18,080
But a Kingsman wears it on
whichever hand happens to be dominant.
1045
01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:19,680
Touch the contact behind the ring...
1046
01:08:19,740 --> 01:08:20,870
it delivers 50,000 volts.
1047
01:08:22,790 --> 01:08:25,250
And what about them?
What makes them so special?
1048
01:08:25,410 --> 01:08:26,410
Nothing.
1049
01:08:26,580 --> 01:08:29,300
That technology has caught up
with the spy world.
1050
01:08:30,290 --> 01:08:32,090
Put it back, Eggsy.
1051
01:08:34,460 --> 01:08:35,930
Perfect timing.
1052
01:08:36,090 --> 01:08:37,970
The gentleman's just finished.
1053
01:08:43,100 --> 01:08:44,440
Mr. DeVere!
1054
01:08:45,930 --> 01:08:47,610
What a coincidence.
1055
01:08:48,230 --> 01:08:51,110
You are totally the reason I'm here.
1056
01:08:51,310 --> 01:08:52,440
When you left my house...
1057
01:08:52,610 --> 01:08:56,410
I was thirsting for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on.
1058
01:08:56,570 --> 01:08:58,070
And since I'm going to Royal Ascot...
1059
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,400
and, apparently,
you need one of these penguin suits...
1060
01:09:00,820 --> 01:09:02,000
here I am.
1061
01:09:02,580 --> 01:09:03,580
What are you doing here?
1062
01:09:03,830 --> 01:09:05,170
What's up, man?
1063
01:09:05,330 --> 01:09:06,450
Richmond Valentine.
1064
01:09:06,790 --> 01:09:09,790
This is my new valet.
I was just introducing him to my tailor.
1065
01:09:09,960 --> 01:09:12,800
Another coincidence. So am I.
1066
01:09:13,170 --> 01:09:15,370
Have you had any chance
to think further on my proposal?
1067
01:09:15,420 --> 01:09:16,420
Most definitely.
1068
01:09:16,630 --> 01:09:19,630
My people will be getting
in touch with you very soon.
1069
01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:21,270
I guarantee it.
1070
01:09:21,970 --> 01:09:23,310
A word of advice.
1071
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:25,860
Ascot requires top hat.
1072
01:09:26,850 --> 01:09:29,980
I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters.
1073
01:09:30,810 --> 01:09:31,860
Saint James's.
1074
01:09:32,020 --> 01:09:33,270
"Lox" as in smoked fish?
1075
01:09:33,610 --> 01:09:36,160
As in, "locked up."
1076
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:42,120
I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes.
1077
01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,790
You all talk so funny.
1078
01:09:51,790 --> 01:09:54,890
Gentlemen, would you look after him,
please?
1079
01:10:07,390 --> 01:10:08,690
Now this...
1080
01:10:08,850 --> 01:10:10,730
is a dope-ass top hat.
1081
01:10:12,390 --> 01:10:15,690
Gazelle, let's go ascoting.
1082
01:10:17,190 --> 01:10:18,410
Your hat looks fine, Gazelle.
1083
01:10:18,570 --> 01:10:21,410
Come on!
Don't make me late for the queen.
1084
01:10:22,150 --> 01:10:24,830
Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late.
1085
01:10:24,990 --> 01:10:26,540
How far is Ascot?
1086
01:10:26,990 --> 01:10:28,040
How far?
1087
01:10:32,250 --> 01:10:33,770
Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir?
1088
01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:35,540
Sit down.
1089
01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:42,010
Pretty dog.
1090
01:10:42,420 --> 01:10:43,720
What's his name?
1091
01:10:43,880 --> 01:10:44,890
J.B.
1092
01:10:45,050 --> 01:10:47,230
- As in "James Bond"?
- No.
1093
01:10:47,510 --> 01:10:49,020
"Jason Bourne"?
1094
01:10:49,180 --> 01:10:51,180
No. "Jack Bauer."
1095
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:52,560
Oh!
1096
01:10:53,230 --> 01:10:54,230
Bravo.
1097
01:10:54,900 --> 01:10:56,020
It pains me to admit it...
1098
01:10:56,190 --> 01:10:59,070
but I think that one day,
you might be as good a spy...
1099
01:10:59,230 --> 01:11:00,700
as any of them.
1100
01:11:07,740 --> 01:11:09,410
Take it.
1101
01:11:16,250 --> 01:11:17,470
Shoot the dog.
1102
01:11:24,260 --> 01:11:25,560
This weapon is live.
1103
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:29,760
Shoot the dog.
1104
01:12:08,430 --> 01:12:09,470
Give me the gun.
1105
01:12:20,810 --> 01:12:22,530
At least the girl's got balls.
1106
01:12:26,150 --> 01:12:27,150
Get out.
1107
01:12:27,820 --> 01:12:29,820
I knew you couldn't make it.
1108
01:12:33,120 --> 01:12:34,460
Go home.
1109
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:38,800
Merlin, send in Roxy, please.
1110
01:13:02,560 --> 01:13:05,570
Welcome to Kingsman...
1111
01:13:06,530 --> 01:13:07,650
Lancelot.
1112
01:13:31,010 --> 01:13:32,010
Mum!
1113
01:13:32,430 --> 01:13:33,550
Eggsy!
1114
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:35,060
Oh, God. Where have you been?
1115
01:13:35,220 --> 01:13:37,220
I've been so worried about you.
1116
01:13:39,180 --> 01:13:42,440
Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown!
1117
01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:50,280
- Where is he?
- I'm fine.
1118
01:13:50,450 --> 01:13:52,120
Eggsy, please, just don't get involved.
1119
01:13:52,280 --> 01:13:53,950
I should never have left you
on your own.
1120
01:13:54,120 --> 01:13:56,540
This stops right now.
1121
01:13:56,700 --> 01:13:57,790
I'll be right back.
1122
01:13:57,950 --> 01:13:59,550
Eggsy.
1123
01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:03,260
Oi, Dean!
1124
01:14:04,250 --> 01:14:06,090
Mugsy, so you're back.
1125
01:14:06,250 --> 01:14:08,130
What, you gone and nicked
a fucking taxi, now?
1126
01:14:08,300 --> 01:14:09,720
Yeah.
1127
01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:11,930
Can I have a word
about my mum's black eye?
1128
01:14:12,930 --> 01:14:14,640
You want to have a word with me,
you get out of that cab...
1129
01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:16,960
I'll knock you straight back down
on your fucking arse.
1130
01:14:18,720 --> 01:14:20,730
Tell your muppets to go inside,
then I'll get out.
1131
01:14:22,980 --> 01:14:24,900
Go on, lads. It'll be two hits.
1132
01:14:25,060 --> 01:14:27,110
Me hitting him, him hitting the floor.
1133
01:14:27,610 --> 01:14:29,950
Come on, then, you prick.
1134
01:14:30,110 --> 01:14:31,990
Let's see what you got.
Want a bit of me?
1135
01:14:32,150 --> 01:14:32,950
What are you doing?
1136
01:14:33,110 --> 01:14:34,110
No, no, no!
1137
01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:34,950
Get out of the fucking car!
1138
01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:36,990
What are you doing?
Where you going, you mug?
1139
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:38,460
Go on, you got no bollocks!
1140
01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:41,250
Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum!
1141
01:14:41,410 --> 01:14:42,810
Come back when you've grown a pair!
1142
01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:43,960
Mugsy!
1143
01:15:06,730 --> 01:15:07,730
You throw away...
1144
01:15:07,900 --> 01:15:11,870
your biggest opportunity
over a fucking dog.
1145
01:15:12,860 --> 01:15:15,210
And then you humiliate me
by stealing my boss's car.
1146
01:15:15,450 --> 01:15:17,540
You shot a dog
just to get a fucking job.
1147
01:15:17,950 --> 01:15:18,950
Yes, I did.
1148
01:15:21,950 --> 01:15:25,830
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that
every time I take a shit!
1149
01:15:27,420 --> 01:15:29,920
You shot your dog and had it stuffed?
1150
01:15:30,090 --> 01:15:31,300
You fucking freak.
1151
01:15:31,460 --> 01:15:32,840
No, I shot my dog...
1152
01:15:33,010 --> 01:15:34,680
and then I brought him home
and continued to care for him...
1153
01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:37,270
for the next 11 years
until he died of pancreatitis.
1154
01:15:38,010 --> 01:15:40,640
- What?
- It was a blank, Eggsy.
1155
01:15:41,810 --> 01:15:43,480
It was a fucking blank.
1156
01:15:44,270 --> 01:15:45,650
Remember Amelia?
1157
01:15:45,810 --> 01:15:46,560
Yeah.
1158
01:15:46,730 --> 01:15:47,850
She didn't drown.
1159
01:15:48,020 --> 01:15:50,770
She works in our tech department in Berlin.
She's fine.
1160
01:15:50,940 --> 01:15:52,160
Limits must be tested...
1161
01:15:52,320 --> 01:15:54,950
a Kingsman only condones
the risking of a life to save another.
1162
01:15:55,110 --> 01:15:58,080
Like my dad saved your life
even though your fuck-up cost his.
1163
01:15:58,240 --> 01:15:59,910
Or have you got him
stuffed here and all?
1164
01:16:01,950 --> 01:16:05,050
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1165
01:16:10,840 --> 01:16:12,510
Harry, listen to this.
1166
01:16:12,670 --> 01:16:14,470
Valentine is at last
saying something of note.
1167
01:16:14,840 --> 01:16:17,090
Do you know what I love
about pen and paper?
1168
01:16:17,590 --> 01:16:20,100
Nobody can hack into this shit.
1169
01:16:20,510 --> 01:16:23,860
Our worldwide tour
was a complete success.
1170
01:16:24,020 --> 01:16:26,490
We have total coverall.
1171
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:29,440
Like when all your numbers in bingo
are crossed out.
1172
01:16:29,610 --> 01:16:30,610
Bingo?
1173
01:16:30,650 --> 01:16:34,030
Bingo, the game.
You have played bingo, right?
1174
01:16:34,900 --> 01:16:36,700
Do I look like I play bingo?
1175
01:16:38,910 --> 01:16:39,950
Point is...
1176
01:16:40,620 --> 01:16:45,090
if our tests go well at the church
tomorrow, we are good to go.
1177
01:16:45,250 --> 01:16:47,750
South Glade Mission Church.
1178
01:16:48,670 --> 01:16:50,840
- Merlin, get the plane ready.
- Will do.
1179
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,760
Harry, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna do whatever...
1180
01:16:52,790 --> 01:16:53,800
You should be.
1181
01:16:53,960 --> 01:16:56,600
You just stay right there.
I'll sort this mess out when I get back.
1182
01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:04,480
And I say to you...
1183
01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:05,890
bear witness!
1184
01:17:06,060 --> 01:17:08,650
Watch the news. Watch the news.
1185
01:17:08,810 --> 01:17:10,110
AIDS!
1186
01:17:10,560 --> 01:17:11,560
Floods!
1187
01:17:11,561 --> 01:17:13,690
The blood of the innocent, spilled!
1188
01:17:13,860 --> 01:17:19,030
And yet, there are those who doubt
this is the wrath of God.
1189
01:17:20,860 --> 01:17:27,540
Our filthy government condones
sodomy, divorce, abortion!
1190
01:17:27,700 --> 01:17:30,250
And yet, some still doubt...
1191
01:17:30,420 --> 01:17:34,300
this is the work of the antichrist!
1192
01:17:34,460 --> 01:17:39,340
You do not have to be
a Jew, a nigger, a whore...
1193
01:17:39,510 --> 01:17:42,260
or an atheistic, science-loving
evolution spouter...
1194
01:17:42,590 --> 01:17:44,060
Charming sermon.
1195
01:17:44,220 --> 01:17:45,890
Can you see Valentine anywhere?
1196
01:17:46,060 --> 01:17:47,480
So, my friends...
1197
01:17:47,640 --> 01:17:50,690
although he is a just God,
he is justly a vengeful one...
1198
01:17:50,850 --> 01:17:53,820
and there can be no turning back...
1199
01:17:53,980 --> 01:17:55,610
from the almighty wrath...
1200
01:17:55,770 --> 01:17:57,240
Are you sure we're out of range?
1201
01:17:57,480 --> 01:17:59,080
We're over 1,000 feet away.
What's wrong?
1202
01:17:59,190 --> 01:18:00,590
What if the calculations are wrong?
1203
01:18:00,610 --> 01:18:02,210
You just have to trust me.
1204
01:18:03,410 --> 01:18:07,880
...Jew, nigger, fag lovers,
and the devil is burning them...
1205
01:18:08,040 --> 01:18:09,330
for all eternity.
1206
01:18:09,500 --> 01:18:10,670
Would you excuse me?
1207
01:18:11,670 --> 01:18:12,670
Where are you going?
1208
01:18:13,330 --> 01:18:15,130
Hey! What's your problem?
1209
01:18:16,710 --> 01:18:18,130
I'm a Catholic whore...
1210
01:18:18,300 --> 01:18:21,890
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock
with my black, Jewish boyfriend...
1211
01:18:22,050 --> 01:18:24,600
who works in a military abortion clinic.
1212
01:18:25,180 --> 01:18:26,520
So, hail Satan...
1213
01:18:26,680 --> 01:18:28,680
and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
1214
01:18:32,060 --> 01:18:33,480
Oh, shit. He's leaving.
1215
01:18:33,650 --> 01:18:35,240
I'm starting the test now.
1216
01:18:35,690 --> 01:18:37,780
Let's hope enough of these freaks
have our SIM cards.
1217
01:18:40,570 --> 01:18:43,450
I kindly ask you to sit down,
my friend!
1218
01:18:43,610 --> 01:18:44,660
Just leave this church!
1219
01:18:44,820 --> 01:18:47,200
You just leave this church
like the infidel you are!
1220
01:18:49,750 --> 01:18:52,970
Satan cannot save you now!
You will eat your babies.
1221
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,630
You will drown in the blood of the Lord!
1222
01:18:56,790 --> 01:18:58,260
He will not save you!
1223
01:19:04,470 --> 01:19:05,470
Holy fuck!
1224
01:19:07,220 --> 01:19:09,390
Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here.
1225
01:19:51,390 --> 01:19:53,390
Jeez! Fuck.
1226
01:19:54,270 --> 01:19:56,400
Galahad, can you hear me?
1227
01:19:56,810 --> 01:19:57,810
Harry!
1228
01:19:58,190 --> 01:20:00,570
Harry, what the heck is going on?
1229
01:20:01,730 --> 01:20:03,290
Could you turn the volume down, please?
1230
01:20:04,530 --> 01:20:06,500
I didn't expect it to be that effective.
1231
01:20:06,660 --> 01:20:08,140
What kind of response are we talking?
1232
01:20:08,660 --> 01:20:09,660
100 percent.
1233
01:20:10,780 --> 01:20:13,790
So, everyone's been affected,
whether they have a SIM card or not.
1234
01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:16,400
And we get the added benefit
of wiping out the Kingsman.
1235
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,840
Not yet.
1236
01:21:13,810 --> 01:21:15,100
You need to see this.
1237
01:23:12,170 --> 01:23:14,020
What did you do to me?
1238
01:23:14,340 --> 01:23:15,970
I had no control.
1239
01:23:17,300 --> 01:23:18,770
I killed all those people.
1240
01:23:20,720 --> 01:23:21,940
I wanted to.
1241
01:23:22,100 --> 01:23:23,190
Clever, isn't it?
1242
01:23:23,350 --> 01:23:26,070
In simple terms,
it's a neurological wave...
1243
01:23:26,230 --> 01:23:27,870
that triggers
the centers of aggression...
1244
01:23:27,940 --> 01:23:29,660
and switches off inhibitors.
1245
01:23:30,190 --> 01:23:33,120
Transmitted through your nasty,
free SIM cards, I assume.
1246
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:38,240
Do you know what this is like?
1247
01:23:38,450 --> 01:23:41,700
It's like those old movies we both love.
1248
01:23:41,870 --> 01:23:44,970
Now, I'm going to tell you
my whole plan...
1249
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:48,380
and then I'm going to come up with some
absurd and convoluted way to kill you...
1250
01:23:48,540 --> 01:23:51,170
and you'll find an equally
convoluted way to escape.
1251
01:23:52,260 --> 01:23:53,720
Sounds good to me.
1252
01:23:54,470 --> 01:23:56,590
Well, this ain't that kind of movie.
1253
01:24:00,220 --> 01:24:02,720
No!
1254
01:24:10,860 --> 01:24:12,580
Is he dead?
1255
01:24:12,730 --> 01:24:15,200
That tends to happen
when you shoot someone in the head.
1256
01:24:15,400 --> 01:24:16,530
It feels good, right?
1257
01:24:16,990 --> 01:24:19,110
No, no, it does not feel good.
It feels fucking awful.
1258
01:24:19,240 --> 01:24:21,540
What? You just killed
how many people in that church?
1259
01:24:21,700 --> 01:24:22,700
This is one guy.
1260
01:24:22,830 --> 01:24:24,830
No, no, they killed each other.
1261
01:24:27,710 --> 01:24:29,630
Okay, send out the countdown clock.
1262
01:24:29,790 --> 01:24:32,470
This party starts tomorrow.
1263
01:25:07,120 --> 01:25:08,500
Arthur?
1264
01:25:10,630 --> 01:25:12,130
Are you there?
1265
01:25:12,420 --> 01:25:14,590
Sadly, I am.
1266
01:25:14,960 --> 01:25:18,430
Assemble the Kingsmen.
1267
01:25:22,180 --> 01:25:26,270
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1268
01:25:46,790 --> 01:25:49,160
I see a young man with potential...
1269
01:25:49,960 --> 01:25:52,630
who wants to do something
good with his life.
1270
01:26:09,310 --> 01:26:11,650
Arthur, Harry's dead.
1271
01:26:12,310 --> 01:26:14,740
Galahad is dead.
1272
01:26:14,900 --> 01:26:17,320
Hence, we have just drunk
a toast to him.
1273
01:26:17,980 --> 01:26:20,530
Well, then you know
what that psycho's doing.
1274
01:26:20,700 --> 01:26:23,320
How many people around the world
have got those SIM cards?
1275
01:26:23,490 --> 01:26:25,870
Valentine can send his signal
to any of them, all of them.
1276
01:26:26,030 --> 01:26:28,080
If they all go homicidal
at the same time then...
1277
01:26:28,240 --> 01:26:30,540
Indeed, and thanks
to Galahad's recordings...
1278
01:26:30,710 --> 01:26:33,330
we have Valentine's confession.
1279
01:26:33,500 --> 01:26:36,880
The intelligence has been passed on
to the relevant authorities.
1280
01:26:37,050 --> 01:26:38,390
Our work is complete...
1281
01:26:38,550 --> 01:26:43,020
and a most distinguished legacy
for our fallen friend, it is, too.
1282
01:26:43,840 --> 01:26:45,020
And that's it?
1283
01:26:46,180 --> 01:26:47,350
Come sit down, boy.
1284
01:26:50,730 --> 01:26:55,730
This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy.
1285
01:26:56,770 --> 01:27:00,030
And we only drink it
when we lose a Kingsman.
1286
01:27:00,690 --> 01:27:03,700
Galahad was very fond of you.
1287
01:27:05,870 --> 01:27:08,290
And on this occasion...
1288
01:27:08,450 --> 01:27:11,800
I think it's acceptable for us
to bend the rules a little.
1289
01:27:14,210 --> 01:27:15,380
Are these all Kingsmen?
1290
01:27:15,540 --> 01:27:17,890
Yes, they're founder members.
1291
01:27:19,250 --> 01:27:21,300
I want you to join me in a toast.
1292
01:27:23,550 --> 01:27:25,550
To Galahad.
1293
01:27:26,550 --> 01:27:28,060
To Galahad.
1294
01:27:32,600 --> 01:27:35,230
Harry says you don't like
to break rules, Arthur.
1295
01:27:35,730 --> 01:27:36,820
Why now?
1296
01:27:36,980 --> 01:27:38,230
You're very good, Eggsy.
1297
01:27:38,400 --> 01:27:41,990
Perhaps I will make you my proposal
for Galahad's position.
1298
01:27:42,900 --> 01:27:45,620
Provided, of course,
that we can see eye to eye...
1299
01:27:45,780 --> 01:27:47,910
on certain political matters.
1300
01:27:50,740 --> 01:27:52,290
Can you guess...
1301
01:27:53,410 --> 01:27:55,010
what this is?
1302
01:27:55,170 --> 01:27:56,840
I don't have to. Harry showed me.
1303
01:27:57,000 --> 01:27:58,500
You click it. I die.
1304
01:27:58,670 --> 01:28:00,470
I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit.
1305
01:28:02,420 --> 01:28:03,420
Bravo.
1306
01:28:03,760 --> 01:28:06,930
Valentine won you over, somehow.
1307
01:28:07,090 --> 01:28:09,940
Once he explained, I understood.
1308
01:28:10,100 --> 01:28:11,350
When you get a virus...
1309
01:28:11,640 --> 01:28:12,860
you get a fever.
1310
01:28:13,020 --> 01:28:17,020
That's the human body raising
its core temperature to kill the virus.
1311
01:28:17,190 --> 01:28:19,440
Planet Earth works the same way.
1312
01:28:19,610 --> 01:28:21,530
Global warming is the fever.
1313
01:28:21,690 --> 01:28:24,490
Mankind is the virus.
1314
01:28:24,650 --> 01:28:27,030
We're making our planet sick.
1315
01:28:27,200 --> 01:28:29,790
A cull is our only hope.
1316
01:28:29,950 --> 01:28:32,200
If we don't reduce
our population ourselves...
1317
01:28:32,370 --> 01:28:34,960
there is only one of two ways
this can go.
1318
01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:39,380
The host kills the virus,
or the virus kills the host.
1319
01:28:39,670 --> 01:28:40,670
Either way...
1320
01:28:40,710 --> 01:28:43,180
The result is the same.
1321
01:28:43,340 --> 01:28:44,970
The virus dies.
1322
01:28:46,050 --> 01:28:49,470
So Valentine's gonna take care
of the population problem himself.
1323
01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:52,140
Well, if we don't do something,
nature will.
1324
01:28:52,310 --> 01:28:56,650
Sometimes a culling is the only way
to ensure that this species survives...
1325
01:28:57,350 --> 01:28:59,480
and history will see Valentine...
1326
01:28:59,650 --> 01:29:01,900
as the man who saved
humanity from extinction.
1327
01:29:02,480 --> 01:29:05,830
And he gets to pick and choose
who gets culled, does he?
1328
01:29:05,990 --> 01:29:07,200
All his rich mates, they get to live...
1329
01:29:07,360 --> 01:29:09,870
and anyone he thinks is worth saving,
he's keeping them safe...
1330
01:29:10,030 --> 01:29:12,000
whether they agree with him or not.
1331
01:29:12,160 --> 01:29:14,330
And you, Eggsy.
1332
01:29:14,870 --> 01:29:16,840
In Harry's honor...
1333
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:21,670
I am inviting you
to be part of a new world.
1334
01:29:23,750 --> 01:29:26,050
It's time to make your decision.
1335
01:29:32,930 --> 01:29:34,900
I'd rather be with Harry.
1336
01:29:35,520 --> 01:29:36,520
Thanks.
1337
01:29:37,180 --> 01:29:38,560
So be it.
1338
01:29:54,870 --> 01:29:58,120
The problem with us common types...
1339
01:29:58,290 --> 01:29:59,880
is that we're light-fingered.
1340
01:30:01,080 --> 01:30:02,800
Kingsman's taught me a lot...
1341
01:30:02,960 --> 01:30:04,210
but sleight of hand...
1342
01:30:04,880 --> 01:30:06,630
Yes, they're founder members.
1343
01:30:09,260 --> 01:30:10,550
I had that down already.
1344
01:30:12,890 --> 01:30:16,480
You dirty little fucking...
1345
01:30:16,640 --> 01:30:18,060
prick.
1346
01:30:52,340 --> 01:30:54,090
It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down.
1347
01:30:55,260 --> 01:30:56,810
It's verified.
1348
01:30:59,180 --> 01:31:01,780
Arthur's phone is receiving update
texts about getting to safety.
1349
01:31:01,930 --> 01:31:03,690
- We don't have a lot of time.
- What are you going to do?
1350
01:31:03,850 --> 01:31:05,980
The question is,
what are we going to do?
1351
01:31:06,150 --> 01:31:08,870
God knows who's in Valentine's pocket
and who's not.
1352
01:31:09,530 --> 01:31:11,030
We have no choice.
1353
01:31:12,110 --> 01:31:14,210
We are gonna have to deal
with this ourselves.
1354
01:31:17,620 --> 01:31:18,960
Follow me.
1355
01:31:37,850 --> 01:31:39,140
What the fuck is this?
1356
01:31:39,310 --> 01:31:41,150
I have no idea.
1357
01:31:42,140 --> 01:31:43,310
What you're playing with...
1358
01:31:43,480 --> 01:31:46,200
is a prototype personal
transatmospheric vehicle.
1359
01:31:46,350 --> 01:31:48,650
It was developed as part of
Reagan's Star Wars project.
1360
01:31:48,820 --> 01:31:51,740
It's pretty basic,
but it should still work.
1361
01:31:51,980 --> 01:31:54,360
We're gonna take out
one of Valentine's satellites.
1362
01:31:54,740 --> 01:31:57,210
We're gonna break the chain,
stop the signal.
1363
01:31:57,370 --> 01:31:59,290
It'll take him a couple of hours
to reroute it...
1364
01:31:59,700 --> 01:32:04,080
which buys us enough time for you
to get me into Valentine's mainframe...
1365
01:32:04,250 --> 01:32:06,050
so I can shut it down.
1366
01:32:06,210 --> 01:32:08,510
Lancelot, you're going to be using it.
1367
01:32:08,670 --> 01:32:10,050
Get into your halo suit.
1368
01:32:22,680 --> 01:32:24,800
Swedish Prime Minister,
requesting permission to land.
1369
01:32:30,440 --> 01:32:32,190
Permission granted.
1370
01:32:35,780 --> 01:32:38,280
- Please.
- Thank you.
1371
01:32:38,450 --> 01:32:40,540
- How many more are we expecting?
- Not many.
1372
01:32:40,700 --> 01:32:42,040
Most have their own bunkers.
1373
01:32:42,200 --> 01:32:45,550
I figure we're just getting
the really nervous ones.
1374
01:32:45,790 --> 01:32:47,790
Welcome, Prime Minister.
1375
01:32:49,080 --> 01:32:52,050
It seems the implant
can emit some kind of counter signal...
1376
01:32:52,210 --> 01:32:55,890
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected
by the waves from the SIM cards.
1377
01:32:56,050 --> 01:32:58,100
The waves that turn everyone
into a psycho killer.
1378
01:32:58,260 --> 01:33:00,810
Quite. But what he
probably didn't tell anyone...
1379
01:33:00,970 --> 01:33:05,230
is it can also super heat
their soft tissue at his command.
1380
01:33:05,390 --> 01:33:09,570
Valentine selected his chosen few
to get the countdown warning...
1381
01:33:09,730 --> 01:33:12,570
but he had to be sure they didn't blab
to the wrong people beforehand.
1382
01:33:12,730 --> 01:33:14,450
How does this help us right now?
1383
01:33:15,400 --> 01:33:16,400
It doesn't.
1384
01:33:16,780 --> 01:33:18,150
Roxy, here we go!
1385
01:33:31,080 --> 01:33:34,680
The higher you go,
the more the balloons expand.
1386
01:33:34,840 --> 01:33:36,680
When you reach
the edge of the atmosphere...
1387
01:33:36,840 --> 01:33:38,970
they'll explode.
1388
01:33:39,130 --> 01:33:41,140
You'll need to deploy your missile
just before that, okay?
1389
01:33:41,300 --> 01:33:42,650
Edge of the atmosphere.
1390
01:33:42,800 --> 01:33:46,100
And once you've deployed,
you'll need to release for descent, fast.
1391
01:33:47,100 --> 01:33:48,350
Good luck.
1392
01:33:50,690 --> 01:33:52,690
- You can do this, okay?
- Yeah.
1393
01:33:52,860 --> 01:33:55,650
Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend.
1394
01:34:18,130 --> 01:34:20,130
You're getting in
on Arthur's invitation.
1395
01:34:20,300 --> 01:34:21,520
You're gonna need to blend in.
1396
01:34:21,680 --> 01:34:22,800
I'm supposed to be Arthur?
1397
01:34:22,970 --> 01:34:25,970
His invitation is in his phone.
You give them this.
1398
01:34:26,140 --> 01:34:28,640
- Give his real name, Chester King.
- What about you?
1399
01:34:28,810 --> 01:34:30,250
I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here.
1400
01:34:31,310 --> 01:34:32,400
Is that gonna fit me?
1401
01:34:32,560 --> 01:34:35,070
A bespoke suit always fits.
1402
01:34:35,230 --> 01:34:37,030
Just be grateful
Harry had it made for you.
1403
01:34:37,980 --> 01:34:38,990
Get dressed.
1404
01:34:40,440 --> 01:34:41,720
What the fuck's wrong with them?
1405
01:34:41,820 --> 01:34:44,570
I don't know. Could have something to do
with the mass genocide.
1406
01:34:44,740 --> 01:34:46,660
Give me the mic.
1407
01:34:48,490 --> 01:34:50,040
Hey-oh!
1408
01:34:50,200 --> 01:34:53,130
Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello!
1409
01:34:53,290 --> 01:34:55,510
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
1410
01:34:55,670 --> 01:34:58,510
I just wanna remind you that today...
1411
01:34:58,670 --> 01:35:01,270
is a day of celebration.
1412
01:35:02,090 --> 01:35:05,600
We must put aside
all thoughts of death...
1413
01:35:05,760 --> 01:35:07,640
and focus on birth.
1414
01:35:08,720 --> 01:35:11,150
The birth of a new age.
1415
01:35:12,350 --> 01:35:17,320
We mustn't mourn those
who give their lives today.
1416
01:35:17,480 --> 01:35:19,450
We should honor their sacrifice...
1417
01:35:19,610 --> 01:35:21,610
Has she got my number to call me back?
I got a new phone.
1418
01:35:21,780 --> 01:35:24,950
...and their roles in saving
the human race.
1419
01:35:27,370 --> 01:35:31,040
We must put aside doubt and guilt.
1420
01:35:32,460 --> 01:35:36,010
You are the chosen people.
1421
01:35:37,630 --> 01:35:41,100
When folks tell their kids
the story of Noah's Ark...
1422
01:35:41,260 --> 01:35:42,260
is Noah the bad guy?
1423
01:35:42,380 --> 01:35:43,050
No!
1424
01:35:43,220 --> 01:35:45,220
Is God the bad guy?
1425
01:35:45,380 --> 01:35:46,060
No!
1426
01:35:46,220 --> 01:35:48,640
How about the animals
marching two by two?
1427
01:35:48,800 --> 01:35:49,600
No!
1428
01:35:49,760 --> 01:35:50,760
Of course not!
1429
01:35:51,680 --> 01:35:53,030
Yeah, that's it!
1430
01:35:53,180 --> 01:35:56,980
Let's turn those frowns upside down.
1431
01:35:57,150 --> 01:35:58,990
Eat, drink...
1432
01:35:59,150 --> 01:36:00,820
and Party!
1433
01:36:03,860 --> 01:36:06,410
And I will see you all in the new age.
1434
01:36:31,640 --> 01:36:33,770
Rox, it's me.
1435
01:36:34,270 --> 01:36:35,610
How's the view?
1436
01:36:38,440 --> 01:36:40,530
- Hideous
- Mine's pretty sweet.
1437
01:36:40,690 --> 01:36:43,610
- They made you one of these suits yet?
- No, not yet.
1438
01:36:43,780 --> 01:36:46,120
You've got something to
look forward to then.
1439
01:36:46,280 --> 01:36:48,870
We're coming up on Valentine's base.
Gotta go.
1440
01:36:50,320 --> 01:36:51,620
Good luck.
1441
01:36:59,290 --> 01:37:00,290
Looking good, Eggsy.
1442
01:37:02,960 --> 01:37:05,680
Feeling good, Merlin.
1443
01:37:10,970 --> 01:37:12,560
This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo. ..
1444
01:37:12,720 --> 01:37:15,150
Requesting permission to land.
1445
01:37:18,140 --> 01:37:20,690
Permission is granted.
1446
01:37:24,360 --> 01:37:26,160
Fuck me.
1447
01:37:53,350 --> 01:37:55,810
Eggsy, we're on.
1448
01:38:10,530 --> 01:38:11,530
Chester King.
1449
01:38:12,530 --> 01:38:14,500
Mr. King, welcome.
1450
01:38:14,870 --> 01:38:18,670
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's
strict no-weapons policy...
1451
01:38:18,830 --> 01:38:20,170
- but if you don't object...
- Of course.
1452
01:38:20,330 --> 01:38:21,550
Thank you.
1453
01:38:22,040 --> 01:38:24,170
Do you have any luggage?
1454
01:38:25,170 --> 01:38:28,590
Congratulations, Mycroft, you just
graduated from my pilot to my valet.
1455
01:38:29,220 --> 01:38:31,680
- You cheeky...
Understood?
1456
01:38:31,840 --> 01:38:33,090
Good.
1457
01:38:34,390 --> 01:38:36,010
Thank you.
1458
01:39:01,290 --> 01:39:05,920
Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online.
The clock is ticking.
1459
01:39:07,090 --> 01:39:09,810
And remember, try to blend in.
1460
01:39:09,960 --> 01:39:11,930
Would sir care for a drink?
1461
01:39:12,550 --> 01:39:13,770
Martini.
1462
01:39:13,930 --> 01:39:16,100
Gin, not vodka, obviously.
1463
01:39:16,260 --> 01:39:19,980
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing
at an unopened bottle of vermouth.
1464
01:39:20,600 --> 01:39:21,820
Thank you.
1465
01:39:24,600 --> 01:39:26,400
Merlin, are you clocking this?
1466
01:39:26,610 --> 01:39:28,650
Yes, I am. Stay focused.
1467
01:39:29,280 --> 01:39:31,450
Lancelot, you're doing great.
Not much further to go.
1468
01:39:32,150 --> 01:39:33,280
Yes, Merlin.
1469
01:39:34,780 --> 01:39:37,080
Eggsy, get me online now.
1470
01:39:37,990 --> 01:39:38,990
Yep, I'm on it.
1471
01:39:40,160 --> 01:39:42,290
Lancelot, you're approaching
your altitude limit.
1472
01:39:42,620 --> 01:39:44,420
Those balloons won't last much longer.
1473
01:39:45,290 --> 01:39:47,260
Prepare to engage missile.
1474
01:40:02,640 --> 01:40:03,860
Society's dead.
1475
01:40:04,310 --> 01:40:06,150
Long live society.
1476
01:40:07,150 --> 01:40:08,490
Amen to that.
1477
01:40:09,940 --> 01:40:11,990
- I'm Morten Lindström.
- Chester King.
1478
01:40:12,320 --> 01:40:13,660
How'd you get online? I couldn't.
1479
01:40:14,030 --> 01:40:17,000
It's a closed network, you see.
Pre-authorized connections only.
1480
01:40:21,200 --> 01:40:22,500
I've got a fix on the satellite.
1481
01:40:22,660 --> 01:40:23,820
Do you have the correct time?
1482
01:40:23,950 --> 01:40:25,170
I think I'm still in my last time zone.
1483
01:40:25,330 --> 01:40:26,710
Yeah, yeah. Let's see now.
1484
01:40:40,800 --> 01:40:41,810
Eggsy, I'm in.
1485
01:40:41,970 --> 01:40:43,060
Get your arse back to the plane, now.
1486
01:40:43,220 --> 01:40:44,820
- On my way.
- Lancelot, good luck!
1487
01:40:44,980 --> 01:40:47,150
Firing in 3... 2...
1488
01:40:54,530 --> 01:40:55,530
Nice and slow.
1489
01:40:55,690 --> 01:40:56,870
Fuck are you doing here?
1490
01:40:57,030 --> 01:40:59,370
Well, my family were invited, obviously.
1491
01:40:59,530 --> 01:41:01,160
Now, get the fuck up! Slowly.
1492
01:41:02,370 --> 01:41:04,250
Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire!
1493
01:41:04,410 --> 01:41:06,000
That other balloon is gonna blow!
1494
01:41:06,160 --> 01:41:09,210
Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it.
Give me a second!
1495
01:41:11,090 --> 01:41:14,010
Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy!
1496
01:41:14,670 --> 01:41:15,720
V-Glass, zoom.
1497
01:41:15,880 --> 01:41:17,930
Oh, fuck! It's that young valet.
1498
01:41:22,050 --> 01:41:23,430
Son of a bitch.
1499
01:41:24,010 --> 01:41:25,110
Got it!
1500
01:41:35,230 --> 01:41:36,530
Oh, shit. Sound the alarm!
1501
01:41:39,070 --> 01:41:40,150
I'm not taking any chances.
1502
01:41:40,280 --> 01:41:41,920
Okay, you send out
the two-minute warning.
1503
01:41:41,950 --> 01:41:44,420
I'm starting the override.
All right, let's do this.
1504
01:41:45,740 --> 01:41:47,370
Countdown initiated.
1505
01:41:57,090 --> 01:41:58,760
- You see him?
- Right here.
1506
01:42:07,560 --> 01:42:08,810
Eggsy, take a left.
1507
01:42:09,600 --> 01:42:10,600
Two guards, up ahead.
1508
01:42:22,950 --> 01:42:24,250
Lancelot! Release now!
1509
01:42:35,290 --> 01:42:37,090
Eggsy, straight ahead, then right.
1510
01:42:37,460 --> 01:42:38,460
There's two more.
1511
01:42:42,180 --> 01:42:44,270
All right, everybody on your feet!
1512
01:42:44,430 --> 01:42:45,650
Countdown to V-day!
1513
01:42:45,800 --> 01:42:47,310
Welcome in the new age!
1514
01:42:55,690 --> 01:42:56,780
Flat spin.
1515
01:43:11,960 --> 01:43:14,800
Eggsy, next left,
down the narrow tunnel!
1516
01:43:23,550 --> 01:43:24,550
Here we go!
1517
01:43:24,720 --> 01:43:25,720
10...
1518
01:43:26,350 --> 01:43:27,690
9...
1519
01:43:28,180 --> 01:43:29,180
8...
1520
01:43:29,850 --> 01:43:30,850
7...
1521
01:43:31,770 --> 01:43:32,770
6...
1522
01:43:33,440 --> 01:43:34,530
5...
1523
01:43:35,100 --> 01:43:36,100
4...
1524
01:43:37,360 --> 01:43:38,110
3...
1525
01:43:38,270 --> 01:43:39,270
2...
1526
01:43:40,030 --> 01:43:41,030
1!
1527
01:43:46,950 --> 01:43:48,790
Nice! Well done, both of you.
1528
01:43:49,540 --> 01:43:50,540
It's not working!
1529
01:43:50,700 --> 01:43:52,750
It's supposed to be working!
What the fuck?
1530
01:43:59,550 --> 01:44:00,220
Yes!
1531
01:44:00,380 --> 01:44:01,720
Well done, Rox. Good girl.
1532
01:44:05,090 --> 01:44:07,600
We've lost one of our satellites.
1533
01:44:17,150 --> 01:44:20,900
Oh, no, no.
There's no way I can hack past that.
1534
01:44:26,490 --> 01:44:27,490
What's going on?
1535
01:44:28,660 --> 01:44:29,750
Is there a problem?
1536
01:44:30,910 --> 01:44:32,270
Come on. There's no need for guns.
1537
01:44:32,410 --> 01:44:33,910
I'm just a pilot.
1538
01:44:36,920 --> 01:44:37,960
Fuck. Merlin!
1539
01:44:40,750 --> 01:44:42,350
Get in here!
1540
01:44:46,590 --> 01:44:47,760
Come on!
1541
01:44:51,310 --> 01:44:52,650
Let's get the fuck out of here!
1542
01:44:52,810 --> 01:44:53,810
We can't.
1543
01:44:53,970 --> 01:44:55,450
I can't get into Valentine's machine.
1544
01:44:55,600 --> 01:44:57,190
He's got biometric security.
1545
01:44:58,690 --> 01:45:01,990
You're gonna have to get in there and make
sure his hand never touches that desk.
1546
01:45:02,150 --> 01:45:03,700
Are you taking the fucking piss?
1547
01:45:03,860 --> 01:45:05,110
I'm afraid not.
1548
01:45:08,280 --> 01:45:09,280
Let's have that then.
1549
01:45:10,950 --> 01:45:12,290
This is mine.
1550
01:45:12,780 --> 01:45:14,710
I'll show you yours.
1551
01:45:32,050 --> 01:45:33,050
Good choice.
1552
01:45:35,680 --> 01:45:37,280
How long to re-link the satellite chain?
1553
01:45:37,390 --> 01:45:38,640
It'll take an hour, maybe two.
1554
01:45:38,810 --> 01:45:40,900
Bullshit! Just bring these two
closer together.
1555
01:45:41,060 --> 01:45:42,410
But that's not yours.
1556
01:45:48,070 --> 01:45:49,820
V-Glass, call E-man.
1557
01:45:50,660 --> 01:45:52,000
E, it's V.
1558
01:45:52,160 --> 01:45:54,160
Listen, man,
I got a little hiccup on this end.
1559
01:45:54,330 --> 01:45:55,330
I need to piggyback.
1560
01:45:55,490 --> 01:45:59,500
One of my satellites just went down,
but it's right next to one of yours.
1561
01:46:00,040 --> 01:46:01,510
You read my mind.
1562
01:46:02,170 --> 01:46:03,760
How long before you make that happen?
1563
01:46:06,840 --> 01:46:07,890
Go.
1564
01:46:12,050 --> 01:46:14,020
All right, we should be
coming back online.
1565
01:46:16,930 --> 01:46:17,930
10 percent.
1566
01:46:21,020 --> 01:46:21,770
Shit!
1567
01:46:21,940 --> 01:46:23,740
Eggsy, Valentine's using
someone else's satellite.
1568
01:46:23,900 --> 01:46:25,870
He's going to reconnect the chain.
1569
01:46:26,020 --> 01:46:27,540
It's going to take him no time at all.
1570
01:46:28,440 --> 01:46:29,540
It's at 20 percent.
1571
01:46:47,460 --> 01:46:50,720
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a
present for you. Get a move on!
1572
01:47:24,250 --> 01:47:25,630
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?
1573
01:47:25,830 --> 01:47:27,460
Not yet, but he will be soon.
1574
01:47:27,630 --> 01:47:29,350
Good.
1575
01:47:42,270 --> 01:47:43,270
Merlin, I'm fucked.
1576
01:47:56,490 --> 01:47:57,490
As am I.
1577
01:47:57,660 --> 01:48:00,000
They're coming at me from both sides.
I'm out of options.
1578
01:48:00,450 --> 01:48:03,300
Rox, I need a favor.
1579
01:48:03,460 --> 01:48:04,500
Call my mum.
1580
01:48:04,660 --> 01:48:06,260
Tell her to lock herself away from Dean.
1581
01:48:07,000 --> 01:48:08,000
And the baby...
1582
01:48:09,500 --> 01:48:10,500
and tell her I love her.
1583
01:48:19,470 --> 01:48:20,720
For fuck's sake.
1584
01:48:25,060 --> 01:48:28,230
Merlin, remember those implants
you said were of no use to us?
1585
01:48:30,020 --> 01:48:31,300
Any chance you can turn them on?
1586
01:48:34,900 --> 01:48:35,700
All right.
1587
01:48:35,860 --> 01:48:38,330
My turn to play, Valentine.
1588
01:48:46,830 --> 01:48:48,000
Oh, no!
1589
01:48:48,170 --> 01:48:50,590
What the fuck is he doing?
I can't stop this.
1590
01:49:04,020 --> 01:49:05,060
Yes, please.
1591
01:49:08,730 --> 01:49:09,900
No!
1592
01:50:06,660 --> 01:50:08,760
Oh, my God!
1593
01:50:08,910 --> 01:50:10,920
That is fucking spectacular!
1594
01:50:11,080 --> 01:50:13,840
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!
1595
01:50:14,000 --> 01:50:17,180
What the fuck is happening out there?
1596
01:50:21,470 --> 01:50:22,770
Aren't you that princess
who went missing?
1597
01:50:22,930 --> 01:50:23,980
Can you get me out?
1598
01:50:24,600 --> 01:50:26,520
If I do, will you give me a kiss?
1599
01:50:26,680 --> 01:50:28,200
I've always wanted to kiss a princess.
1600
01:50:28,270 --> 01:50:30,830
If you get me out right now,
I'll give you more than just a kiss.
1601
01:50:32,520 --> 01:50:33,770
You motherfucker.
1602
01:50:33,940 --> 01:50:35,780
Did you really think
I was stupid enough...
1603
01:50:35,940 --> 01:50:38,110
to implant one of those
things in my own head?
1604
01:50:38,570 --> 01:50:40,120
What are you, fucking crazy?
1605
01:50:41,070 --> 01:50:43,370
All those innocent people killed
and for what?
1606
01:50:44,240 --> 01:50:47,090
You didn't stop shit!
1607
01:50:48,450 --> 01:50:50,460
Fine, I've locked the door.
What do you want me to do now?
1608
01:50:50,620 --> 01:50:53,470
As I said, put your daughter
in the bathroom and throw away the key.
1609
01:50:54,250 --> 01:50:56,630
It's still happening!
1610
01:50:56,800 --> 01:50:57,970
You're fucking insane!
1611
01:50:58,130 --> 01:50:59,260
Just do it.
1612
01:51:26,580 --> 01:51:27,920
Eggsy, the signal's started!
1613
01:51:28,080 --> 01:51:31,250
Get Valentine's hand off
that bloody desk now!
1614
01:51:31,410 --> 01:51:32,410
Sorry, love.
1615
01:51:32,750 --> 01:51:33,840
Got to save the world.
1616
01:51:34,000 --> 01:51:35,590
If you save the world...
1617
01:51:35,750 --> 01:51:37,420
we can do it in the asshole.
1618
01:51:38,670 --> 01:51:40,590
I'll be right back.
1619
01:51:42,010 --> 01:51:43,010
Good luck!
1620
01:51:49,760 --> 01:51:50,760
London.
1621
01:52:19,210 --> 01:52:20,210
Rio.
1622
01:52:36,230 --> 01:52:37,230
Get down!
1623
01:52:39,230 --> 01:52:40,230
You did it!
1624
01:52:49,660 --> 01:52:51,580
The glass is not gonna hold long.
1625
01:52:53,240 --> 01:52:54,870
You stay here.
1626
01:52:57,080 --> 01:52:58,250
Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there?
1627
01:52:58,580 --> 01:53:00,510
- Keep shooting, I'll find a route.
- Understood.
1628
01:53:17,060 --> 01:53:18,150
Holy fuck!
1629
01:53:36,660 --> 01:53:37,960
We're back up.
1630
01:53:38,830 --> 01:53:40,130
We're back up!
1631
01:53:47,130 --> 01:53:48,850
This is great!
1632
01:53:56,980 --> 01:53:57,980
Eggsy!
1633
01:53:57,981 --> 01:53:59,520
Fucking get on with it!
1634
01:53:59,690 --> 01:54:00,900
Kick his ass, Gazy!
1635
01:54:07,530 --> 01:54:10,330
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!
1636
01:54:18,710 --> 01:54:21,170
Kill that motherfucker!
He killed all our friends!
1637
01:54:38,560 --> 01:54:40,560
Eggsy, the world is going to shit!
1638
01:54:49,940 --> 01:54:52,040
- Is he dead yet?
- Not yet!
1639
01:54:52,200 --> 01:54:54,290
Stop playing with your food!
1640
01:54:54,450 --> 01:54:55,450
Kill him!
1641
01:56:13,570 --> 01:56:14,950
Gazelle!
1642
01:56:16,780 --> 01:56:17,950
Gazelle!
1643
01:56:27,580 --> 01:56:29,300
Come on! Come on!
1644
01:56:32,300 --> 01:56:33,300
Kill him!
1645
01:56:50,610 --> 01:56:51,610
Hey!
1646
01:57:16,340 --> 01:57:17,840
Well done, son!
1647
01:57:19,180 --> 01:57:20,180
Yes!
1648
01:57:20,300 --> 01:57:21,480
Yes, Eggsy!
1649
01:57:21,640 --> 01:57:23,190
Well done, Eggsy!
1650
01:57:23,680 --> 01:57:24,850
And you, Lancelot.
1651
01:57:27,600 --> 01:57:30,200
I'm so sorry.
Mummy would never hurt you.
1652
01:57:30,810 --> 01:57:33,860
Mummy would never hurt you.
I'm so sorry.
1653
01:57:36,360 --> 01:57:37,360
Are you okay?
1654
01:57:41,160 --> 01:57:43,030
Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy.
1655
01:57:44,370 --> 01:57:45,460
He was right.
1656
01:58:00,890 --> 01:58:02,180
What's up, man?
1657
01:58:02,550 --> 01:58:05,900
Is this the part where you say
some really bad pun?
1658
01:58:07,390 --> 01:58:09,390
Well, it's like you said to Harry.
1659
01:58:12,560 --> 01:58:14,910
This ain't that kind of movie, bruv.
1660
01:58:16,400 --> 01:58:17,820
Perfect.
1661
01:58:38,720 --> 01:58:39,890
Eggsy, where are you going?
1662
01:58:40,050 --> 01:58:42,290
There's no need for champagne.
We got loads in the plane.
1663
01:58:49,430 --> 01:58:50,530
Did you save the world?
1664
01:58:51,100 --> 01:58:52,570
Yes, I did.
1665
01:58:53,900 --> 01:58:56,700
So, you gonna come in?
1666
01:58:57,440 --> 01:58:58,940
Yes, I am.
1667
01:59:04,410 --> 01:59:06,280
Merlin, the cell's locked.
How do I get in?
1668
01:59:08,580 --> 01:59:10,130
26-25.
1669
01:59:14,460 --> 01:59:17,050
Merlin, you're the guvnor.
1670
01:59:19,260 --> 01:59:21,630
You owe me, Eggsy.
1671
01:59:27,260 --> 01:59:28,310
Eggsy?
1672
01:59:34,310 --> 01:59:35,990
Oh, my word.
1673
02:00:23,190 --> 02:00:26,040
Michelle, turn that shit off.
It's doing my nut in.
1674
02:00:27,030 --> 02:00:28,530
I rather like that song.
1675
02:00:29,080 --> 02:00:30,670
Leave it on, eh, Mum?
1676
02:00:34,410 --> 02:00:36,340
Mugsy's back.
1677
02:00:36,460 --> 02:00:38,860
You've finally come
to have that word with me, have you, son?
1678
02:00:39,250 --> 02:00:40,610
Or are you gonna run away again...
1679
02:00:40,710 --> 02:00:42,300
and pretend you're going to court,
dressed like that?
1680
02:00:42,760 --> 02:00:44,130
Oh, you mean this?
1681
02:00:45,680 --> 02:00:46,970
No.
1682
02:00:47,590 --> 02:00:50,890
I know this bloke who's just taken over
a tailor shop on Savile Row.
1683
02:00:51,970 --> 02:00:53,570
He's given me a job, Mum.
1684
02:00:54,270 --> 02:00:55,560
It comes with a lot of perks.
1685
02:00:56,940 --> 02:00:58,280
Including a house.
1686
02:00:59,440 --> 02:01:01,280
Come and live with me there, Mum.
1687
02:01:01,860 --> 02:01:02,950
Come on.
1688
02:01:03,110 --> 02:01:04,110
Sit down, you.
1689
02:01:05,240 --> 02:01:07,480
Only place she'll be visiting
is you in fucking hospital.
1690
02:01:07,570 --> 02:01:09,370
- Do you hear?
- Just leave him alone, Dean!
1691
02:01:09,530 --> 02:01:11,790
Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe.
1692
02:01:13,240 --> 02:01:14,540
All right.
1693
02:01:14,700 --> 02:01:16,250
That's it, do as Mummy says.
1694
02:01:16,410 --> 02:01:19,260
Why don't you ask that tailor friend of
yours, and knock up a nice chicken costume.
1695
02:01:19,420 --> 02:01:20,790
It'll suit you, you mug.
1696
02:01:23,050 --> 02:01:25,840
As a good friend once said...
1697
02:01:27,130 --> 02:01:28,260
"Manners...
1698
02:01:30,180 --> 02:01:31,180
"maketh...
1699
02:01:33,720 --> 02:01:34,720
"man."
1700
02:01:35,600 --> 02:01:37,940
- Dean?
- Shut the fuck up.
1701
02:01:38,100 --> 02:01:40,530
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners
up your fucking...
1702
02:01:46,490 --> 02:01:47,490
So...
1703
02:01:47,740 --> 02:01:51,740
are we gonna stand around here all day,
or are we gonna fight?