00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:42,790 This is Zero One Alpha. We have secured Falcon. 2 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,010 I say again, we have secured Falcon. 3 00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:48,640 By the time I count to ten... 4 00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:50,930 ...you will have told me exactly what I need to know. 5 00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:52,380 If not... 6 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,430 ...the number ten will be the last thing you will ever hear. 7 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:57,640 One 8 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:58,760 Two 9 00:01:58,760 --> 00:01:59,760 Three 10 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:00,890 Four 11 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,100 Five 12 00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:03,140 Six 13 00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:04,270 Seven 14 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:04,940 Eight 15 00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:06,780 Grenade! Sir, get back! 16 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,460 Shit. 17 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,670 Fucking missed it. 18 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,300 How did I fucking miss it? 19 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:33,090 Merlin, I apologize for putting you in this position. 20 00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:34,800 You trained him well. 21 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,350 James... 22 00:02:38,180 --> 00:02:41,600 training is over. 23 00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,850 Welcome to Kingsman. 24 00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:46,650 Lancelot. 25 00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:47,810 Sir. 26 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:55,160 I'll deal with this mess personally. 27 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,330 I very much regret that your husband's bravery can't be publicly celebrated. 28 00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:04,790 I hope you understand. 29 00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:06,460 How can I understand? 30 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,630 You won't tell me anything. 31 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,000 I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad. 32 00:03:12,170 --> 00:03:13,410 I'm so sorry, I can't say more. 33 00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:16,850 But I would like to present you with this Medal of Valor... 34 00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:21,350 and if you look closely on the back, there's a number. 35 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,220 And as a more concrete gesture of our gratitude... 36 00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:26,310 we'd like to offer you... 37 00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:28,860 Let's call it a favor. 38 00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:30,520 The nature of it is your choice. 39 00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:32,030 Just tell the operator... 40 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,900 "oxfords not brogues," and then I'll know it's you. 41 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,910 I don't want your help! 42 00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:42,500 I want my husband back! 43 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,510 What's your name, young man? 44 00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:53,090 Eggsy. 45 00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:54,510 Hello, Eggsy. 46 00:03:55,510 --> 00:03:56,930 Can I see that? 47 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,690 You take care of this, Eggsy. 48 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,060 All right? 49 00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:13,610 And take care of your mum, too. 50 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,110 So sorry, Professor Arnold. Just a tiny bit more. 51 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,780 For God's sakes, just rip it off. 52 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:04,500 I'm under very strict instructions not to hurt you. 53 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:06,910 Look, you've made a mistake. 54 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,830 I'm a university lecturer. I've got no money. 55 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,460 This isn't about money. 56 00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:13,590 Our boss just wants to talk to you. 57 00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:15,680 Am I meant to find that reassuring? 58 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,960 He'll be here soon. He'll explain. 59 00:05:19,130 --> 00:05:20,760 Do you like whiskey? 60 00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:24,140 Red, get the '62 Dalmore. 61 00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:28,520 Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing. 62 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,650 You will shit. 63 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,340 I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far? 64 00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:20,200 Professor Arnold, I'm here to take you home. 65 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,840 1962 Dalmore. 66 00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,090 It'd be a sin to spill any. 67 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,210 Don't you think? 68 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,090 Can you hold these? Please? 69 00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:35,350 Thank you. 70 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,950 Everything is clean. 71 00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:52,450 My kind of welcome. 72 00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,960 No stomach for violence. 73 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,050 I mean, literally, I see one drop of blood... 74 00:08:04,210 --> 00:08:06,140 that is me done. 75 00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:07,470 I'm like... 76 00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:08,980 projectile. 77 00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:11,310 Listen, I'm so sorry... 78 00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:16,850 you had to witness all this unpleasantness due to our uninvited guest. 79 00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:21,150 But I promise you, by the time I've found out who he works for... 80 00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:25,660 you and I will be the best of friends. 81 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,290 To the shop, please. 82 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,920 Arthur's in the dining room, sir. 83 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,400 Arthur. 84 00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:11,780 Galahad. 85 00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:16,660 The others were beginning to wonder if we were going to have a double toast. 86 00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:23,340 Gentlemen, I'm thankful to say it's been 17 years... 87 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,880 since we last had occasion to use this decanter. 88 00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:31,180 Lancelot was an outstanding agent, and a true Kingsman. 89 00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:32,760 He will be sorely missed. 90 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,310 To Lancelot. 91 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,810 To Lancelot. 92 00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:46,860 I intend to start the selection process for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow. 93 00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:49,570 I want each of you to propose a candidate... 94 00:09:49,730 --> 00:09:52,080 and have them report to UK HQ... 95 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,410 no later than 9 p.m. GMT. 96 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:56,030 Thank you. 97 00:09:58,410 --> 00:09:59,410 Merlin. 98 00:10:00,290 --> 00:10:01,910 Come in. 99 00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:04,970 Lancelot was investigating a group of mercenaries... 100 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,840 who were experimenting with biological weaponry. 101 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,080 Glasses, gentlemen, please. 102 00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:14,020 Uganda, 2012. 103 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,680 Synthetic cathinones. 104 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,270 They put it in the water supply of a guerrilla army base. 105 00:10:19,430 --> 00:10:22,680 Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities. 106 00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:25,520 Chechnya, 2013. 107 00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:27,480 Insurgents turned on one another. 108 00:10:27,650 --> 00:10:31,400 Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries, but no trace of any chemicals of any kind. 109 00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:32,730 So what happened to Lancelot? 110 00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:36,660 He tracked them to this property in Argentina. 111 00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:38,160 While he had them under surveillance... 112 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,170 he became aware they'd effected a kidnapping. 113 00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:45,000 So he executed a solo rescue mission, which failed. 114 00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:47,380 This is his last transmission. 115 00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:51,930 - Who is he? - Some climate change doomsayer. 116 00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:53,730 Expounds something called "Gaia theory"... 117 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,520 about the world healing itself, or some such. 118 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:59,560 But what's curious, is he's not actually missing. 119 00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:02,360 This is Professor Arnold... 120 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,560 at Imperial College this morning. 121 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,400 It's all yours. 122 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,860 And don't forget your membership proposal. 123 00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:13,120 Try picking a more suitable candidate this time. 124 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,150 17 years and still... 125 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,950 evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. 126 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,210 Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man? 127 00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:24,960 He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. 128 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,340 More so. 129 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,500 But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? 130 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:33,890 Let's face it, Galahad, your little experiment failed. 131 00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:38,100 With respect, Arthur, you're a snob. 132 00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:39,350 "With respect"? 133 00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,730 The world is changing. 134 00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:46,890 There's a reason why aristocrats developed weak chins. 135 00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:06,620 Eggsy? 136 00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:10,590 Eggsy, come here. 137 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,600 - Got any Rizla, babe? - No. 138 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,800 Why don't you do your mum a favor, go down to the shop and get some? 139 00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:19,260 - Get them yourself. - Oi. 140 00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:22,100 What have I said to you about speaking to Dean like that? 141 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:25,730 Three's a crowd, innit? Why don't Dean's poodle go? 142 00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:27,360 I'll tell you what. 143 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,270 Why don't you take this, go and get some Rizlas... 144 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,400 get yourself some sweets? And while you're gone... 145 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,360 we'll show your mother how three can be good company. 146 00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:38,940 Thanks, babe. 147 00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,380 There we go. 148 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:50,540 Is that better? 149 00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:07,730 If Dean treats your mum so bad, why doesn't she leave him? 150 00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:09,860 Low self-esteem. That's her problem. 151 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,780 Fuck off. Why would she have low self-esteem? 152 00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:13,780 Eggsy's mum is well fit. 153 00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,280 - No offense, bruv. - It's all right. 154 00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:19,540 One of these days, I'm gonna smash his face in. 155 00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:21,120 Are you mental, cuz? 156 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,000 He'd just get that lot to do you, and then pretend he knew nothing... 157 00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:27,450 ...about it. 158 00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:30,170 You think you can chat shit about us and we won't do nothing... 159 00:13:30,330 --> 00:13:32,460 just because our guvnor's banging Eggsy's mum? 160 00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,470 Pretty much, yeah. 161 00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:36,800 Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man. 162 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:37,960 It's not worth it. 163 00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:40,640 You boys have outstayed your welcome. 164 00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:41,970 Leave. 165 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:44,720 What? 166 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,310 I'm sorry about that, bruv. 167 00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:51,390 Yeah. 168 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:52,520 Mug. 169 00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,820 They weren't fucking worth it, boys. 170 00:13:57,860 --> 00:14:01,160 It's freezing. Why are we walking? 171 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,160 You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv? 172 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,820 Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car. 173 00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:07,830 Shit! 174 00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,210 Hold on, boys. 175 00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:19,430 Hey, that's my fucking car! 176 00:14:19,590 --> 00:14:21,840 Hey! Hey! Eggsy! 177 00:14:22,010 --> 00:14:24,050 I swear, you want to fucking stop it! 178 00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:26,770 You're a fucking dead man! Stop it! 179 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,720 I'm gonna fucking have ya! 180 00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:37,360 Floor it, Eggsy! 181 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:38,520 Floor it! 182 00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:40,480 Wanker! 183 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,820 Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me. 184 00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:45,990 Eggsy just stole my fucking car. 185 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,000 I've come out the pub, he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face... 186 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,710 and he's drove off. 187 00:14:50,870 --> 00:14:53,000 No, I can't have it! He's disrespecting me. 188 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,380 And that means, he's disrespecting you. 189 00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:58,380 Hold up! What the...? 190 00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:40,250 Dickhead. 191 00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:44,050 Foxes are vermin, cuz. 192 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,640 Should've driven it over. 193 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,770 Should've done a lot of things. 194 00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:49,600 I'll sort this. Get out of the car. 195 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,270 I said, get out of the fucking car! 196 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:04,230 Eggsy, there is no such thing as honor amongst thieves. 197 00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:08,960 Now, you can start giving me some names of the boys you were with... 198 00:16:09,610 --> 00:16:10,960 or you go down. 199 00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:13,170 It's up to you. 200 00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:16,090 I want to exercise my right to a phone call. 201 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:22,170 Well, I hope it's to your mum... 202 00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:25,840 to tell her you're gonna be 18 months late for your dinner. 203 00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:59,160 Customer Complaints, how may I help you? 204 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,500 My name's Eggsy Unwin. 205 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:06,170 Sorry, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek. 206 00:17:06,340 --> 00:17:07,620 I'm in Holborn police station... 207 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,430 and my mum said to call this number if ever I needed help. 208 00:17:09,590 --> 00:17:12,090 I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number. 209 00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:13,600 Wait! Wait! 210 00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:17,600 Oxfords not brogues. 211 00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:20,830 Your complaint has been duly noted... 212 00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:24,020 and we hope that we have not lost you as a loyal customer. 213 00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:36,460 Yeah. 214 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,380 You what? 215 00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,750 I... 216 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,210 Yeah. 217 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,540 Yes, I totally understand. 218 00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:07,160 Eggsy. 219 00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:09,270 Would you like a lift home? 220 00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:11,240 Who are you? 221 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,750 The man who got you released. 222 00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:14,250 That ain't an answer. 223 00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:16,740 A little gratitude would be nice. 224 00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:21,250 My name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal. 225 00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:24,790 Your father saved my life. 226 00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:30,210 So before you was a tailor, was you in the army? 227 00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,100 Like an officer. 228 00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:33,760 Not quite. 229 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,720 So where was you posted, Iraq or something? 230 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,140 Sorry, Eggsy. Classified. 231 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:40,770 But my dad saved your life, yeah? 232 00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:45,310 The day your father died, I missed something. 233 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,560 And if it weren't for his courage... 234 00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:50,650 my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. 235 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,080 So I owe him. 236 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,290 Your father was a brave man. 237 00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:59,290 A good man. 238 00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:00,610 And having read your files... 239 00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:03,220 I think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made. 240 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,490 You can't talk to me like that. 241 00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:05,580 Huge I.Q. 242 00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:07,500 Great performance at primary school. 243 00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:09,760 And it all went tits up. 244 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,640 Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job. 245 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,470 You think there's a lot of jobs going around here, do you? 246 00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:16,130 Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. 247 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,890 First prize, regional Under-10s gymnastics... 248 00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:20,270 two years in a row. 249 00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:22,650 Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material. 250 00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:24,480 Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad... 251 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,120 you pick up new hobbies pretty quick. 252 00:19:26,270 --> 00:19:27,990 Of course. Always someone else's fault. 253 00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:31,450 Who's to blame for you quitting the Marines? 254 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,940 You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up. 255 00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:36,110 Because my mum went mental. 256 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,080 Banging on about losing me as well as my dad. 257 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,660 Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you. 258 00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:44,250 Judging people like me from your ivory towers... 259 00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:46,630 with no thought about why we do what we do. 260 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,680 We ain't got much choice. You get me? 261 00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:52,530 And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses... 262 00:19:52,670 --> 00:19:55,510 we'd do just as well as you. If not, better. 263 00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,520 What the fuck you doing here? You taking the piss? 264 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,470 Some more examples of young men... 265 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,360 who simply need a silver suppository? 266 00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:05,020 No, they're exceptions. Come on. 267 00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:06,780 Nonsense. We haven't finished our drinks. 268 00:20:06,810 --> 00:20:07,900 After you nicked his car... 269 00:20:08,060 --> 00:20:09,360 Dean says you're fair game. 270 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,120 He don't give a shit what your mum says. 271 00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:12,530 Listen, boys... 272 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,870 I've had a rather emotional day... 273 00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:20,370 so whatever your beef with Eggsy is, and I'm sure it's well-founded... 274 00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,200 I'd appreciate it enormously... 275 00:20:22,370 --> 00:20:24,330 if you could just leave us in peace... 276 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:27,040 until I finish this lovely pint of Guinness. 277 00:20:30,210 --> 00:20:32,890 You should get out of the way, Granddad, or you'll get hurt and all. 278 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,390 He ain't joking. You should go. 279 00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:42,390 Excuse me. 280 00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:47,300 If you're looking for another rent boy, they're on the corner of Smith street. 281 00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:54,190 Manners... 282 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,700 maketh... 283 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,950 man. 284 00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:10,210 Do you know what that means? 285 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,260 Then let me teach you a lesson. 286 00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:26,140 Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight? 287 00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,940 You fucking dirty, fucking dirty... 288 00:22:55,190 --> 00:22:56,610 Sorry about that. 289 00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:58,520 Needed to let off a little steam. 290 00:22:59,690 --> 00:23:03,190 I heard yesterday a friend of mine died. 291 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,410 He knew your father too, actually. 292 00:23:07,910 --> 00:23:10,030 Now, I do apologize, Eggsy. 293 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,200 I shouldn't have done this in front of you. 294 00:23:12,370 --> 00:23:14,370 No, please! I won't say nothing, I swear! 295 00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:16,040 If there's one thing I can do, it's keep my mouth shut. 296 00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:17,550 - You won't tell a soul? - Ask the feds. 297 00:23:17,710 --> 00:23:18,870 I've never grassed anyone up. 298 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,220 - Is that a promise? - On my life! 299 00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:27,230 Much appreciated, Eggsy. 300 00:23:27,380 --> 00:23:29,140 You're right about the snobs. 301 00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:31,560 But there, too, there are exceptions. 302 00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:34,270 Best of luck with everything. 303 00:23:48,610 --> 00:23:52,830 In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine movie premiered in Hollywood last night. 304 00:23:52,990 --> 00:23:55,790 The story of the internet billionaire's rise to power... 305 00:23:55,950 --> 00:23:58,750 is expected to be this award season's hot ticket. 306 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,920 One notable absence from the red carpet was Iggy Azalea... 307 00:24:02,090 --> 00:24:05,590 still missing three days after she failed to appear at her Oakland concert. 308 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,300 No ransom has been demanded. 309 00:24:07,470 --> 00:24:09,430 Eggsy, just go, please, because he's gonna... 310 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,100 No, please, don't hurt him! 311 00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:13,980 Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya! 312 00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:15,360 Shut the fuck up! 313 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,640 Who was with you in that fucking pub? 314 00:24:17,810 --> 00:24:19,940 I want to know the name of the geezer you was with. 315 00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,950 - I wasn't with no one! - Who was it? 316 00:24:22,110 --> 00:24:23,530 - I don't know what you're on about. - Who was it? 317 00:24:23,690 --> 00:24:24,820 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 318 00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:26,110 Fucking tell me his name! 319 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,620 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 320 00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:33,830 You listen to me! 321 00:24:33,990 --> 00:24:35,960 I want to know who you was with in that pub. Do you understand? 322 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,000 I want to know his fucking name! 323 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,130 Because, I swear, I'll rip your head off. 324 00:24:41,290 --> 00:24:44,340 - Tell me! - I don't know what you're fucking on about! 325 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:45,550 Just tell him, Eggsy! 326 00:24:45,710 --> 00:24:47,510 Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle! 327 00:24:47,670 --> 00:24:48,970 I could kill you right now... 328 00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:51,640 and no one in the whole world will notice! 329 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,480 But I would. 330 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,480 I have enough evidence on your activities... 331 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,640 to have you locked up for the rest of your life... 332 00:24:57,810 --> 00:25:00,030 - Mr. Dean Anthony Baker. - What the fuck? 333 00:25:00,230 --> 00:25:01,820 So I suggest you leave the boy alone... 334 00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:05,570 or I shall be forced to deliver it to the appropriate authorities. 335 00:25:06,570 --> 00:25:09,120 Eggsy, meet me at the tailor I told you about. 336 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,750 What the fuck's going on here? 337 00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:14,920 Eggsy, you fucking maggot! 338 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,290 Hey, we got a racer! 339 00:25:16,450 --> 00:25:17,920 Come here. Hey! 340 00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:19,750 Eggsy, you fucking... 341 00:25:19,910 --> 00:25:21,210 Come here, son! 342 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:34,730 You wanker! 343 00:25:34,890 --> 00:25:36,510 I'll have you, son! 344 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,960 I've never met a tailor before. 345 00:26:04,790 --> 00:26:06,130 But I know you ain't one. 346 00:26:10,090 --> 00:26:11,760 Come with me. 347 00:26:20,430 --> 00:26:21,730 Come on in. 348 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:28,440 What do you see? 349 00:26:28,730 --> 00:26:31,950 Someone who wants to know what the fuck is going on. 350 00:26:33,650 --> 00:26:36,000 I see a young man with potential. 351 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,080 A young man who is loyal. 352 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:41,960 Who can do as he's asked. 353 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:44,920 And who wants to do something good with his life. 354 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,500 Did you see the film Trading Places? 355 00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:50,600 No. 356 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,510 How about Nikita? 357 00:26:53,590 --> 00:26:54,930 Pretty Woman? 358 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:56,930 All right. 359 00:26:57,090 --> 00:27:00,130 My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path... 360 00:27:00,260 --> 00:27:02,110 but you needn't stay on it. 361 00:27:02,350 --> 00:27:07,200 If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform. 362 00:27:07,770 --> 00:27:09,610 Like in My Fair Lady. 363 00:27:10,650 --> 00:27:12,700 Well, you're full of surprises. 364 00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:15,660 Yes, like My Fair Lady. 365 00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:20,000 Only, in this case, I'm offering you the opportunity to become a Kingsman. 366 00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:22,000 A tailor? 367 00:27:22,490 --> 00:27:23,790 A Kingsman agent. 368 00:27:25,370 --> 00:27:26,620 Like a spy? 369 00:27:26,830 --> 00:27:27,960 Of sorts. 370 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:30,960 Interested? 371 00:27:31,460 --> 00:27:33,630 You think I've got anything to lose? 372 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,150 Since 1849... 373 00:27:42,310 --> 00:27:46,480 Kingsman tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals. 374 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,320 By 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War One. 375 00:27:52,150 --> 00:27:55,490 That meant a lot of money going uninherited. 376 00:27:55,650 --> 00:27:59,660 And a lot of powerful men with a desire to preserve peace and protect life. 377 00:27:59,820 --> 00:28:02,750 Our founders realized that they could channel that wealth and influence... 378 00:28:02,910 --> 00:28:04,540 for the greater good. 379 00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:08,000 And so began our other venture. 380 00:28:08,830 --> 00:28:11,180 An independent, international intelligence agency... 381 00:28:11,330 --> 00:28:14,680 operating at the highest level of discretion. 382 00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:16,970 Above the politics and bureaucracy... 383 00:28:17,130 --> 00:28:21,310 that undermine the integrity of government-run spy organizations. 384 00:28:22,050 --> 00:28:24,400 The suit is a modern gentleman's armor. 385 00:28:25,220 --> 00:28:28,320 And the Kingsman agents are the new knights. 386 00:28:29,390 --> 00:28:30,990 How deep does this fucking thing go? 387 00:28:31,150 --> 00:28:32,190 Deep enough. 388 00:29:16,860 --> 00:29:18,580 Shit, we're late. 389 00:29:43,220 --> 00:29:45,770 Your father had the same look on his face. 390 00:29:47,430 --> 00:29:48,810 As did I. 391 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,600 Come on. 392 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:55,440 Galahad. 393 00:29:55,610 --> 00:29:56,610 My code name. 394 00:29:56,770 --> 00:29:58,240 Late again, sir. 395 00:29:58,610 --> 00:29:59,910 Good luck. 396 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,620 In you go. 397 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,300 Fall in. 398 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:19,350 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin. 399 00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:20,600 You are about to embark... 400 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,470 on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world. 401 00:30:24,300 --> 00:30:29,150 One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Lancelot. 402 00:30:29,930 --> 00:30:33,150 Can anybody tell me what this is? 403 00:30:34,020 --> 00:30:35,650 - Yes? - Body bag, sir. 404 00:30:35,810 --> 00:30:38,110 Correct. Charlie, isn't it? 405 00:30:38,310 --> 00:30:39,310 Yes, sir. 406 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:40,110 Good. 407 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,650 In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. 408 00:30:42,820 --> 00:30:44,660 You will write your name on that bag. 409 00:30:44,990 --> 00:30:48,240 You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. 410 00:30:48,410 --> 00:30:51,660 This represents your acknowledgment of the risks that you are about to face... 411 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,120 as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality. 412 00:30:55,290 --> 00:30:58,340 Which, incidentally, if you break, will result in you... 413 00:30:58,630 --> 00:31:00,970 and your next of kin... 414 00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:03,010 being in that bag. 415 00:31:04,670 --> 00:31:06,100 Is that understood? 416 00:31:07,590 --> 00:31:08,770 Excellent. 417 00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:10,640 Fall out. 418 00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:20,360 Roxanne. But call me Roxy. 419 00:31:21,110 --> 00:31:22,530 - I'm Eggsy. - "Eggy"? 420 00:31:22,690 --> 00:31:23,690 No, "Eggsy". 421 00:31:23,820 --> 00:31:25,160 Eggy? 422 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:26,450 Where did they dig you up? 423 00:31:26,610 --> 00:31:28,730 You know we're not allowed to discuss who proposed us. 424 00:31:28,870 --> 00:31:30,160 No need to bite his head off. 425 00:31:30,330 --> 00:31:32,670 Charlie's only making conversation, right, Charlie? 426 00:31:33,290 --> 00:31:34,500 I'm Digby. 427 00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:36,460 Digby. 428 00:31:36,620 --> 00:31:38,050 Eggy, this is Rufus. 429 00:31:38,210 --> 00:31:39,710 Rufus, Eggy. 430 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,680 So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge? 431 00:31:45,170 --> 00:31:45,840 Neither. 432 00:31:46,010 --> 00:31:47,300 - Saint Andrews? - Durham? 433 00:31:47,470 --> 00:31:49,390 No, wait, I think we may have met. 434 00:31:49,550 --> 00:31:53,310 Did you serve me at the McDonald's in Winchester service station? 435 00:31:53,470 --> 00:31:54,220 No. 436 00:31:54,390 --> 00:31:57,150 But if I had, I would have given you an extra helping of secret sauce. 437 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,150 It's definitely Saint Andrews. 438 00:32:00,730 --> 00:32:01,900 Just ignore them. 439 00:32:02,070 --> 00:32:03,160 You need a pen? 440 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:04,070 Cheers. 441 00:32:04,230 --> 00:32:05,660 Amelia, isn't it? 442 00:32:05,820 --> 00:32:07,240 Amelia, Eggsy. 443 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,580 Hi, Eggsy. 444 00:32:08,910 --> 00:32:10,660 Don't take any notice of those guys. 445 00:32:10,820 --> 00:32:12,540 That's what I told him. 446 00:32:14,830 --> 00:32:16,050 It's just scare tactics. 447 00:32:16,410 --> 00:32:17,910 Classic army technique. 448 00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:19,250 No one's gonna die. 449 00:32:23,380 --> 00:32:24,600 Shame. 450 00:32:26,710 --> 00:32:28,930 Great. You don't know, the CIA don't know. 451 00:32:29,090 --> 00:32:31,600 Nobody knows who this guy is? 452 00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:33,350 Fine. 453 00:32:33,510 --> 00:32:34,890 Seriously, it's fine. 454 00:32:35,060 --> 00:32:38,940 Well, it's not really fine, but it's not why I'm here. 455 00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:42,570 Hell, man, you know me. Money's not my issue. 456 00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:44,450 I could've retired straight out of MIT... 457 00:32:44,610 --> 00:32:47,080 fucked off to some island, let the business run itself. 458 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,990 Nobody told me to try and save the planet. 459 00:32:50,150 --> 00:32:51,780 I wanted to. 460 00:32:51,950 --> 00:32:55,670 Climate change research, lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars... 461 00:32:55,830 --> 00:32:57,630 and you know why I quit? 462 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:02,840 Because the last time I checked, the planet was still fucked. 463 00:33:03,170 --> 00:33:05,670 Hence, my epiphany. 464 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,590 Money won't solve this. 465 00:33:08,970 --> 00:33:11,430 Those idiots who call themselves politicians... 466 00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:15,640 have buried their heads in the sand and stood for nothing but re-election. 467 00:33:16,430 --> 00:33:20,780 So I spent the last two years trying to find a real solution. 468 00:33:21,350 --> 00:33:23,280 And I found it. 469 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,480 Now, if you really want to make the world a better place... 470 00:33:27,650 --> 00:33:32,120 I suggest you open your fucking ears, because I'm about to tell it to you. 471 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,170 Go on, Mr. Valentine. 472 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:35,830 I'm still listening. 473 00:33:36,620 --> 00:33:40,500 As long as you agree to all my terms. 474 00:34:28,710 --> 00:34:30,260 All right, no one panic. Listen to me. 475 00:34:30,510 --> 00:34:31,550 Stay calm. 476 00:34:32,380 --> 00:34:33,380 Fuck. 477 00:34:35,220 --> 00:34:36,770 Loo snorkels, loo snorkels! 478 00:34:37,050 --> 00:34:38,050 Loo snorkels? 479 00:34:38,180 --> 00:34:39,180 Showerheads! 480 00:34:40,220 --> 00:34:41,220 Showerheads? 481 00:34:41,221 --> 00:34:42,690 She's right. Fucking go! 482 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,110 Hey, hang about, what's wrong with the fucking door? 483 00:36:10,810 --> 00:36:13,610 Congratulations on completing your first task. 484 00:36:13,860 --> 00:36:16,530 Charlie, Roxy, well done. 485 00:36:16,690 --> 00:36:18,490 For those of you who are still confused... 486 00:36:18,650 --> 00:36:20,830 if you can get a breathing tube around a U-bend of a toilet... 487 00:36:20,990 --> 00:36:22,830 you have an unlimited air supply. 488 00:36:22,990 --> 00:36:25,500 Simple physics, worth remembering. 489 00:36:25,660 --> 00:36:28,960 Eggsy, well done for spotting that was a two-way mirror. 490 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,120 He's probably seen enough of them. 491 00:36:30,290 --> 00:36:33,170 Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks off your faces. 492 00:36:33,340 --> 00:36:37,180 Because as far as I'm concerned, every single one of you has failed. 493 00:36:37,510 --> 00:36:40,560 You all forgot the most important thing... 494 00:36:41,550 --> 00:36:42,850 teamwork. 495 00:36:57,030 --> 00:36:59,700 So much for classic army technique. 496 00:37:02,870 --> 00:37:04,120 35. 497 00:37:04,780 --> 00:37:06,160 105. 498 00:37:06,790 --> 00:37:09,130 That's it. That's it. 499 00:37:13,710 --> 00:37:14,710 Hello. 500 00:37:15,170 --> 00:37:16,220 Can I help you? 501 00:37:16,380 --> 00:37:19,760 Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force. 502 00:37:21,220 --> 00:37:24,350 Really? It's actually quite fascinating. 503 00:37:26,220 --> 00:37:27,900 My colleague died trying to rescue you... 504 00:37:28,060 --> 00:37:29,900 and I'm sure you saw how well trained he was... 505 00:37:29,930 --> 00:37:32,570 so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go. 506 00:37:32,690 --> 00:37:34,440 I have no idea what you're talking... 507 00:37:35,230 --> 00:37:37,480 I'm not supposed to say it, but it was... 508 00:37:37,860 --> 00:37:39,580 For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 509 00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:41,030 Man up! 510 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,810 Fuck that guy, whoever he is. I'm gonna... 511 00:38:05,340 --> 00:38:07,310 He made me kill Professor Arnold. 512 00:38:07,470 --> 00:38:08,810 I goddamn loved Professor Arnold. 513 00:38:08,970 --> 00:38:10,020 Well, the good news is... 514 00:38:10,180 --> 00:38:11,980 we know the emergency and surveillance system work. 515 00:38:12,140 --> 00:38:14,110 You know what's not good news? 516 00:38:14,270 --> 00:38:15,990 "My colleague died!" 517 00:38:16,150 --> 00:38:17,570 That's what he said! 518 00:38:17,730 --> 00:38:20,080 This is an organization, and they're all over us. 519 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,070 - Whoever you spoke to... - I told you... 520 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:25,790 I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad and Beijing. 521 00:38:25,950 --> 00:38:27,550 They all insist he wasn't one of theirs. 522 00:38:27,780 --> 00:38:29,080 Beijing. 523 00:38:29,540 --> 00:38:33,760 So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese secret service. 524 00:38:34,210 --> 00:38:36,380 Now, that's what you call a secret, right? 525 00:38:37,380 --> 00:38:39,130 You know what? Fuck it. 526 00:38:39,590 --> 00:38:41,180 We need to speed things up. 527 00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:42,700 Bring the product release forward. 528 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,680 We're only halfway into production... 529 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,280 and speeding it will cost a fortune. 530 00:38:46,430 --> 00:38:47,720 Do I look like I give a fuck? 531 00:38:47,970 --> 00:38:49,810 Just get it done. 532 00:38:52,310 --> 00:38:54,900 As some of you will have learned last night... 533 00:38:56,310 --> 00:38:59,530 teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman. 534 00:38:59,690 --> 00:39:03,490 We're here to enhance your skills, test you to the limit. 535 00:39:03,650 --> 00:39:07,080 Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy. 536 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:09,080 Wherever you go, your dog goes. 537 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,460 You will care for it. You will teach it. 538 00:39:11,620 --> 00:39:14,670 And by the time it's fully trained, so will you be. 539 00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:17,420 Those of you who are still here, that is. 540 00:39:17,580 --> 00:39:19,510 Do you understand? 541 00:39:19,710 --> 00:39:21,590 Choose your puppy. 542 00:39:24,260 --> 00:39:25,430 A Doodle? 543 00:39:25,590 --> 00:39:26,590 What? 544 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,270 They're gun dogs. 545 00:39:28,430 --> 00:39:29,930 Oldest working breed. 546 00:39:30,100 --> 00:39:31,890 Easy to train. 547 00:39:32,930 --> 00:39:34,180 A pug? 548 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,230 It's a bulldog, innit? 549 00:39:39,690 --> 00:39:41,090 It'll get bigger, though, won't it? 550 00:39:44,940 --> 00:39:47,070 Shit. 551 00:39:49,070 --> 00:39:52,420 His MRI shows no signs of concussion. 552 00:39:52,580 --> 00:39:55,550 No direct brain trauma at all. 553 00:39:55,870 --> 00:39:57,970 How much longer can he be out? 554 00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,300 That's the million-dollar question. 555 00:39:59,460 --> 00:40:01,300 We don't know what he was exposed to in there. 556 00:40:01,460 --> 00:40:02,930 What about Harry's footage? 557 00:40:03,090 --> 00:40:04,760 It didn't stream to his home terminal. 558 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:07,890 Encrypted and uncrackable. 559 00:40:08,130 --> 00:40:09,330 If and when he comes around... 560 00:40:09,430 --> 00:40:12,060 you might want to have a word with him about sharing his password. 561 00:40:12,220 --> 00:40:13,890 Is he gonna be all right? 562 00:40:15,060 --> 00:40:16,730 We need to have patience, Eggsy. 563 00:40:17,140 --> 00:40:18,490 But there's hope, okay? 564 00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:20,780 If I were you, I'd concentrate on your training. 565 00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:23,110 Make it through the tests. Make him proud. 566 00:40:30,740 --> 00:40:32,240 Come on, come on, come on! 567 00:40:32,410 --> 00:40:34,500 J.B., come on! Come on! 568 00:40:37,580 --> 00:40:39,580 I'm not coming last because of you. 569 00:40:40,420 --> 00:40:42,920 J.B., I'll shoot you! Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you! 570 00:40:44,170 --> 00:40:45,840 Merlin said we're not allowed to hold you. 571 00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:49,510 Bollocks. 572 00:41:32,050 --> 00:41:33,050 Water! 573 00:41:36,310 --> 00:41:37,810 - Come on, then! - Eggsy, forget it! 574 00:41:37,970 --> 00:41:39,610 What's wrong, mate? You can't take a joke? 575 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:41,820 Seriously, you'll get thrown out, and it's just not worth it. 576 00:41:41,980 --> 00:41:43,480 Maybe I don't give a fuck if I get kicked out! 577 00:41:43,650 --> 00:41:44,990 Do it. Come on, you pleb. 578 00:41:45,150 --> 00:41:46,570 Charlie, fuck off! 579 00:41:48,690 --> 00:41:51,660 Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead. 580 00:41:52,990 --> 00:41:54,080 Come on, J.B. 581 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:55,330 Come on, good boy. 582 00:42:09,130 --> 00:42:11,510 You have exactly one hour to complete the test... 583 00:42:11,670 --> 00:42:13,220 starting now. 584 00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:17,050 New target, 800 meters. 585 00:42:17,220 --> 00:42:18,850 You know, it's unbelievable. You're still here... 586 00:42:19,010 --> 00:42:22,520 lingering like some big, steaming shit that just won't flush. 587 00:42:22,690 --> 00:42:24,190 Roger that. Target identified. 588 00:42:24,350 --> 00:42:26,360 And how about you shut the fuck up? 589 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:27,650 Positive discrimination... 590 00:42:27,820 --> 00:42:29,240 that's what it is. 591 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,570 It's like those fucking state school kids who get into Oxford on C grades... 592 00:42:32,740 --> 00:42:34,380 because their mum is a one-legged lesbian. 593 00:42:34,530 --> 00:42:36,130 You don't know fuck all about my grades. 594 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,080 Forgive me, I'm sure you're highly educated. 595 00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:39,710 Fire when ready. 596 00:42:41,870 --> 00:42:43,870 How's that for positive discrimination? 597 00:42:56,550 --> 00:42:58,350 I want to thank you both for listening... 598 00:42:58,510 --> 00:43:01,610 and I really, really appreciate you travelling all this way... 599 00:43:01,770 --> 00:43:02,770 Your Royal Highness. 600 00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:04,730 And you, too, Prime Minister. 601 00:43:04,890 --> 00:43:07,900 I think this is quite brilliant. 602 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,900 It's absolutely brilliant. 603 00:43:11,690 --> 00:43:14,540 You are completely crazy. 604 00:43:16,570 --> 00:43:18,120 And as for you, Prime Minister 605 00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:20,460 I'm speechless you'd even consider this. 606 00:43:25,750 --> 00:43:28,720 - Don't touch... - Sorry, Your Royal Highness. 607 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:29,920 But you've got a big role to play... 608 00:43:30,090 --> 00:43:32,630 in getting the Scandinavian region back on track. 609 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,310 You're popular, inspirational... 610 00:43:34,470 --> 00:43:36,930 and you have the power to galvanize the people. 611 00:43:37,090 --> 00:43:39,940 Now, whether you're on board or not... 612 00:43:40,100 --> 00:43:41,720 I'm going to have to insist... 613 00:43:41,890 --> 00:43:44,770 on getting you somewhere I can ensure your safety. 614 00:43:45,270 --> 00:43:47,490 How about you, Prime Minister? You in or out? 615 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:49,940 Well, I think it's about time... 616 00:43:50,110 --> 00:43:54,780 that a politician did something that actually made a difference. 617 00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,120 Too true. 618 00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:58,280 What? 619 00:43:58,281 --> 00:43:59,620 Take her away. 620 00:44:03,290 --> 00:44:04,290 Drink? 621 00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:06,620 Why not? 622 00:44:08,540 --> 00:44:10,510 Guards! Help! 623 00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:11,340 Don't worry. 624 00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:12,970 No harm will come to the princess. 625 00:44:13,460 --> 00:44:17,590 Well, I'm a republican anyways, so it really doesn't matter. 626 00:44:19,130 --> 00:44:20,130 Release the princess! 627 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,010 Okay, you're done. 628 00:44:55,170 --> 00:44:56,670 Not so bad, right? 629 00:44:57,210 --> 00:44:59,060 Hardly felt a thing. 630 00:44:59,340 --> 00:45:00,840 Welcome aboard. 631 00:45:01,300 --> 00:45:03,150 Pleasure is all mine. 632 00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:10,480 Ever heard of knocking? 633 00:45:11,690 --> 00:45:13,130 Only when I'm casing a place to rob. 634 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:15,840 Merlin said you wanted to see me? 635 00:45:16,980 --> 00:45:19,030 I hope J.B.'s training is going as well as yours is. 636 00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:20,370 Sit. 637 00:45:22,870 --> 00:45:25,740 Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates. 638 00:45:25,910 --> 00:45:28,410 Your test results were even better than I could've hoped. 639 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:32,210 Come in. 640 00:45:36,380 --> 00:45:39,050 Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation. 641 00:45:39,210 --> 00:45:40,210 You're dismissed. 642 00:45:40,340 --> 00:45:42,060 Nonsense. Let him observe. 643 00:45:42,260 --> 00:45:43,890 Might learn a thing or two. 644 00:45:44,390 --> 00:45:46,390 As you wish. Take a look at this. 645 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:48,350 For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 646 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:49,520 Man up! 647 00:45:50,020 --> 00:45:51,740 Fucking hell! 648 00:45:51,890 --> 00:45:53,860 That is rank, Harry. 649 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:55,910 You blew up his head? 650 00:45:56,070 --> 00:45:57,530 It's a bit much, innit? 651 00:45:57,690 --> 00:46:01,370 Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck. 652 00:46:01,570 --> 00:46:03,070 Here, under the scar. 653 00:46:03,410 --> 00:46:05,910 Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it? 654 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,580 Fortunately, yes. 655 00:46:07,910 --> 00:46:09,880 Unfortunately, the IP address I traced it to... 656 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,260 is registered to the Valentine Corporation. 657 00:46:12,410 --> 00:46:15,260 That's not much of a lead. He has millions of employees worldwide. 658 00:46:15,420 --> 00:46:17,590 That Richmond Valentine is a genius. 659 00:46:21,220 --> 00:46:23,390 Did you not see his announcement today? 660 00:46:24,090 --> 00:46:25,270 No. 661 00:46:29,310 --> 00:46:32,900 We each spend on average $2,000 a year... 662 00:46:33,060 --> 00:46:34,940 on cell phone and internet usage. 663 00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:38,230 It gives me great pleasure to announce... 664 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,950 those days are over. 665 00:46:41,110 --> 00:46:42,160 As of tomorrow... 666 00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:46,170 every man, woman and child can claim a free SIM card... 667 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:50,450 compatible with any cell phone, any computer... 668 00:46:50,620 --> 00:46:54,800 and utilize my communications network for free. 669 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,300 Free calls... 670 00:46:56,460 --> 00:46:57,960 free internet... 671 00:46:58,130 --> 00:46:59,630 for everyone. 672 00:47:00,630 --> 00:47:01,970 Forever. 673 00:47:17,810 --> 00:47:20,490 Valentine's assistant has the same implant scar. 674 00:47:20,980 --> 00:47:23,660 I think Mr. Valentine and I should have a tête-à-tête. 675 00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,630 He's having a gala dinner next week. 676 00:47:29,780 --> 00:47:32,630 I'll get you an invitation. You need to be careful, though. 677 00:47:32,830 --> 00:47:34,800 Since you've been out, hundreds of VIPs have gone missing. 678 00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:37,330 No ransom notes, exactly like Professor Arnold. 679 00:47:37,670 --> 00:47:41,390 Then I suggest you make my alias somebody worth kidnapping. 680 00:47:54,180 --> 00:47:55,360 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 681 00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:56,690 What, don't like heights? 682 00:47:56,850 --> 00:47:57,850 Yeah, it's okay. 683 00:47:58,060 --> 00:48:01,690 I've done it before, which is probably why, come to think of it. 684 00:48:02,980 --> 00:48:04,860 Hey, it's gonna be all right. 685 00:48:05,030 --> 00:48:06,500 You're top of the class. 686 00:48:08,490 --> 00:48:09,710 Listen up. 687 00:48:09,870 --> 00:48:12,660 Your mission is to land in the target without the radar detecting you. 688 00:48:12,830 --> 00:48:16,500 If I read you on the radar, or you miss the target, you go home. 689 00:48:16,870 --> 00:48:18,040 Is that understood? 690 00:48:21,540 --> 00:48:24,170 Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds. 691 00:48:25,510 --> 00:48:26,930 We gotta go. 692 00:48:36,180 --> 00:48:38,060 Eggsy, I really don't think I can do this. 693 00:48:38,230 --> 00:48:39,230 Of course you can't. 694 00:48:39,390 --> 00:48:41,150 Head to the back and I'll show you how, yeah? 695 00:48:49,240 --> 00:48:51,240 Eggsy, wait! Hang on! 696 00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:53,740 Roxy, just stop fucking about! 697 00:48:55,370 --> 00:48:56,370 Follow me, yeah? 698 00:49:10,430 --> 00:49:12,270 Come on! 699 00:49:13,550 --> 00:49:15,600 Roxy, it's now or never. 700 00:49:16,890 --> 00:49:18,110 Jump! 701 00:49:36,740 --> 00:49:38,090 Good girl, Rox... 702 00:49:38,250 --> 00:49:39,840 I'm glad you made it! 703 00:49:52,630 --> 00:49:54,310 Yeah! 704 00:49:54,970 --> 00:49:55,970 Come on! 705 00:49:58,350 --> 00:50:00,480 My, my, you're all very cheerful. 706 00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:02,920 Did you really think it was gonna be that straightforward? 707 00:50:02,980 --> 00:50:05,360 Any idiot can read a heads-up display. 708 00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:09,200 A Kingsman agent needs to be able to solve problems under pressure. 709 00:50:09,780 --> 00:50:13,280 Like what to do when one of your group has no parachute. 710 00:50:14,660 --> 00:50:16,330 - What, no parachute? - Shit! 711 00:50:16,700 --> 00:50:17,830 Who? 712 00:50:17,990 --> 00:50:18,990 Fuck! 713 00:50:18,990 --> 00:50:19,990 Which one? 714 00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,540 What do we do? 715 00:50:21,710 --> 00:50:23,130 I told you. Aim for the target. 716 00:50:23,290 --> 00:50:24,540 Come in under the radar. 717 00:50:24,710 --> 00:50:26,680 And I hope not to be scraping one of you up. 718 00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:30,010 But if I do have to, and you're inside the target... 719 00:50:30,510 --> 00:50:32,220 please know I'll be very impressed. 720 00:50:32,380 --> 00:50:33,800 - Fuck! - Oh, shit! 721 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,350 Everybody listen, I've got a plan! 722 00:50:41,060 --> 00:50:44,030 Pair off! Grab the closest person to them. 723 00:50:46,690 --> 00:50:47,860 Rufus, come on! 724 00:50:48,070 --> 00:50:49,070 Fuck! 725 00:50:49,860 --> 00:50:50,860 Rufus! 726 00:50:51,190 --> 00:50:52,370 Shit! I can't! 727 00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:57,200 Fuck! 728 00:50:58,240 --> 00:50:59,370 Thank God! 729 00:50:59,530 --> 00:51:01,380 Rufus, you wanker! 730 00:51:02,580 --> 00:51:04,000 Shit, we're an odd number now! 731 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:06,170 Quick, make a circle! 732 00:51:06,330 --> 00:51:08,050 Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it. 733 00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,850 We pull our cords one by one! 734 00:51:15,010 --> 00:51:16,230 When we know who's fucked... 735 00:51:16,390 --> 00:51:17,870 the person on their right grabs them. 736 00:51:19,510 --> 00:51:20,770 Okay, Eggsy. 737 00:51:21,220 --> 00:51:22,220 Good plan, Eggsy. 738 00:51:22,390 --> 00:51:24,560 You have 30 seconds. Come on now, hurry. 739 00:51:24,730 --> 00:51:25,730 Me first! 740 00:51:28,230 --> 00:51:29,230 Fuck! 741 00:51:29,231 --> 00:51:30,570 Yes! 742 00:51:32,610 --> 00:51:35,030 Okay, me next. 743 00:51:37,030 --> 00:51:38,580 See you on the ground, boys. 744 00:51:42,410 --> 00:51:43,410 Now me. 745 00:51:47,290 --> 00:51:48,290 Fuck! 746 00:51:52,750 --> 00:51:53,550 Roxy... 747 00:51:53,710 --> 00:51:55,750 No matter what happens now, I've got you, all right? 748 00:51:59,260 --> 00:52:00,560 Okay, Eggsy. 749 00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:01,890 - Yours first, okay? - Yep. 750 00:52:15,070 --> 00:52:16,070 Shit! 751 00:52:23,740 --> 00:52:25,000 Shit! 752 00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,120 Shit! 753 00:52:29,790 --> 00:52:30,790 Rox! 754 00:52:34,250 --> 00:52:35,350 Fuck. 755 00:52:51,690 --> 00:52:53,860 Hugo, Digby 756 00:52:54,020 --> 00:52:56,820 You don't land in the K, you're not in the K. 757 00:52:56,990 --> 00:52:59,330 Rufus, you opened too soon. 758 00:52:59,490 --> 00:53:00,830 You were all over the radar. 759 00:53:00,990 --> 00:53:02,830 All three of you, pack your bags, go home. 760 00:53:04,950 --> 00:53:07,170 Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. 761 00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:09,120 You set a new record. 762 00:53:09,290 --> 00:53:10,510 Opening at 300 feet... 763 00:53:10,670 --> 00:53:11,710 that's pretty ballsy. 764 00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,380 Well done for completing another task. Fall out. 765 00:53:15,500 --> 00:53:16,510 Sorry, sir. 766 00:53:16,670 --> 00:53:18,340 But why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? 767 00:53:18,510 --> 00:53:19,720 Am I the expendable candidate? 768 00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,480 No, no, no. You don't talk to me like that. 769 00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,200 You have a complaint, you come here and you whisper it in my ear. 770 00:53:31,690 --> 00:53:34,410 You need to take that chip off your shoulder. 771 00:54:05,390 --> 00:54:07,890 Mr. DeVere. It's a pleasure to meet you. 772 00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:11,230 I'm awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up. 773 00:54:11,390 --> 00:54:14,270 No, no, no. I cancelled the gala because of you. 774 00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,400 Anybody willing to donate that much... 775 00:54:16,570 --> 00:54:18,740 deserves their own dinner. Come in! 776 00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:21,360 Thank you. 777 00:54:23,240 --> 00:54:25,740 Got to admit, I was really intrigued to meet you. 778 00:54:25,910 --> 00:54:27,750 There aren't many billionaires I don't know. 779 00:54:27,910 --> 00:54:28,910 I don't doubt it. 780 00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:32,080 And, obviously, I had my people look into your affairs... 781 00:54:32,250 --> 00:54:34,010 and that's some pretty old money you're from. 782 00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:35,120 How'd your folks make it? 783 00:54:35,580 --> 00:54:38,590 Property, mostly. Property and the markets. 784 00:54:38,750 --> 00:54:40,800 Nothing questionable, if that's your concern. 785 00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:43,720 Look, I'm just into finding out what caliber person you are. 786 00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,040 I'm sure you understand that. 787 00:54:45,260 --> 00:54:46,310 I most certainly do. 788 00:54:46,470 --> 00:54:47,970 - Hope you're hungry. - I'm famished. 789 00:54:48,140 --> 00:54:49,190 Good. 790 00:54:49,260 --> 00:54:50,270 Grab a seat. 791 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:13,240 I'll have the Big Mac, please. 792 00:55:13,290 --> 00:55:14,460 Great choice. 793 00:55:14,620 --> 00:55:18,050 But nothing beats two cheeseburgers with secret sauce. 794 00:55:18,210 --> 00:55:20,010 Goes great with this '45 Lafite. 795 00:55:20,170 --> 00:55:21,170 A classic pairing. 796 00:55:21,590 --> 00:55:24,590 And may I suggest Twinkies and a 1937 Château d'Yquem for pudding? 797 00:55:25,430 --> 00:55:26,800 I like it. 798 00:55:27,390 --> 00:55:31,190 So, you want to donate to my foundation. 799 00:55:31,350 --> 00:55:34,690 You are aware that I wound things down in that area, right? 800 00:55:34,850 --> 00:55:37,780 Climate change is a threat, which affects us all, Mr. Valentine. 801 00:55:37,940 --> 00:55:41,070 And you're one of the few powerful men who seems to share my concerns. 802 00:55:41,230 --> 00:55:43,910 No, I shut things down, because I wasn't getting anywhere. 803 00:55:44,070 --> 00:55:46,910 Every bit of research kept pointing to the same thing. 804 00:55:47,070 --> 00:55:48,450 That carbon emissions are a red herring... 805 00:55:48,620 --> 00:55:52,290 and that we're past the point of no return no matter what remedial actions we take? 806 00:55:52,660 --> 00:55:54,290 You know your shit. 807 00:55:54,450 --> 00:55:58,050 I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance of those less well versed in their... 808 00:55:58,580 --> 00:55:59,800 "shit." 809 00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:02,380 As Professor Arnold always said... 810 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,390 "Humankind is the only virus cursed to live... 811 00:56:05,550 --> 00:56:08,800 "with the horrifying knowledge of its host's fragile mortality." 812 00:56:10,050 --> 00:56:12,600 You know, not a lot of people knew about him. 813 00:56:15,310 --> 00:56:17,690 You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere? 814 00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:24,410 Nowadays, they're all a little serious for my taste. 815 00:56:24,570 --> 00:56:25,570 But the old ones... 816 00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:27,570 Marvelous. 817 00:56:27,740 --> 00:56:29,990 Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day. 818 00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:33,660 The old Bond movies. Oh, man! 819 00:56:33,830 --> 00:56:37,380 When I was a kid, that was my dream job. 820 00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:39,760 Gentleman spy. 821 00:56:40,130 --> 00:56:43,470 I always felt the old Bond films were only as good as the villain. 822 00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:47,970 As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colorful megalomaniac. 823 00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,140 What a shame we both had to grow up. 824 00:56:57,770 --> 00:56:58,980 Bon appétit. 825 00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:04,490 Just give me a couple of days to think over your proposal. 826 00:57:04,650 --> 00:57:06,240 I'll have my people get in touch with yours... 827 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:07,900 and it's all good. 828 00:57:08,070 --> 00:57:11,620 And thank you for such a happy meal. 829 00:57:16,950 --> 00:57:18,330 Well, want me to follow him? 830 00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:19,620 Nah. 831 00:57:19,910 --> 00:57:22,380 I put a nano tracker gel in the wine. 832 00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:25,550 We'll know his every move for the next 24 hours. 833 00:57:25,710 --> 00:57:28,260 Finally find out who he works for. 834 00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:31,810 Valentine didn't let me out of his sight. 835 00:57:31,970 --> 00:57:34,470 All I got was this on the way in. 836 00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,700 South Glade Mission Church is a hate group based in Kentucky. 837 00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,160 FBI have been monitoring them for years. 838 00:57:44,310 --> 00:57:46,110 But you think Valentine is a supporter? 839 00:57:46,270 --> 00:57:49,570 No evidence yet of a direct connection, but I'll keep looking. 840 00:57:50,450 --> 00:57:51,820 By the way... 841 00:57:51,990 --> 00:57:57,040 our ever-growing list of missing persons now includes Scandinavian royalty. 842 00:57:57,450 --> 00:58:00,170 Royal Crown Princess Tilde. 843 00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:05,090 Just let me out, you psycho! 844 00:58:05,250 --> 00:58:08,100 I told you, you're free to go any time you want. 845 00:58:08,250 --> 00:58:10,510 As long as you agree to my conditions. 846 00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:12,550 I don't agree... 847 00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,440 and I am never ever going to agree! 848 00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:16,850 Tough shit. 849 00:58:17,260 --> 00:58:18,260 Bitch. 850 00:58:20,430 --> 00:58:22,190 I want to speak to the British Council! 851 00:58:22,810 --> 00:58:27,240 The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries has continued to grow in recent weeks... 852 00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:31,280 and world leaders are coming under increasing pressure to provide answers. 853 00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:35,200 We are doing everything in our power to find Princess Tilde. 854 00:58:35,370 --> 00:58:38,540 You know, governments and security forces worldwide... 855 00:58:38,700 --> 00:58:42,420 are working together to find the person behind these abductions. 856 00:58:42,580 --> 00:58:44,260 In other news, people all over the world... 857 00:58:44,420 --> 00:58:48,800 continue to wait in line day and night to get their free SIM cards. 858 00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,430 Mrs. P, did you get one? 859 00:58:51,590 --> 00:58:54,180 Yeah, I've been queuing up all day. 860 00:58:54,340 --> 00:58:58,600 This unprecedented giveaway by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine... 861 00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:01,610 has already seen over a billion cards distributed. 862 00:59:01,770 --> 00:59:02,980 At ease. 863 00:59:05,150 --> 00:59:07,570 So you thought we were done for the day, huh? 864 00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:09,570 Well, we're not. 865 00:59:11,190 --> 00:59:13,190 - A party? - Tonight, in London. 866 00:59:14,950 --> 00:59:17,290 - Who's this? - Your target. 867 00:59:17,450 --> 00:59:19,420 Your mission is to use your NLP training... 868 00:59:19,580 --> 00:59:22,020 to win over the individual on the photograph in your envelope. 869 00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:23,620 And when I say "win over"... 870 00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:25,580 I do mean in the biblical sense. 871 00:59:25,750 --> 00:59:26,920 Easy. 872 00:59:27,830 --> 00:59:29,880 Posh girls love a bit of rough. 873 00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:31,670 We'll see about that, yeah? 874 00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,760 We certainly will. 875 00:59:38,970 --> 00:59:39,970 Hi! 876 00:59:40,100 --> 00:59:43,400 Sorry, I just had to come over and say, amazing eyes. 877 00:59:43,770 --> 00:59:45,010 Are you wearing color contacts? 878 00:59:45,140 --> 00:59:47,360 - No! - You so are. 879 00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,900 Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious. 880 00:59:50,060 --> 00:59:52,100 I haven't heard anyone try that since the noughties. 881 00:59:52,110 --> 00:59:53,230 Excuse me? 882 00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:54,400 "Negging." 883 00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:58,420 Saying something negative to a pretty girl in order to undermine her social value. 884 00:59:58,570 --> 01:00:00,620 It's supposed to make you want to win his approval. 885 01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,250 Absurdly basic neuro-linguistic programming technique. 886 01:00:04,410 --> 01:00:06,540 Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny? 887 01:00:06,710 --> 01:00:08,580 - It's an acquired taste, mate. - I think it's just cheap. 888 01:00:08,750 --> 01:00:10,590 Get one of these instead. They're delicious. 889 01:00:10,750 --> 01:00:13,470 If you're into seduction techniques, this guy is textbook. 890 01:00:13,630 --> 01:00:16,380 See what he just did? It's called an opinion opener. 891 01:00:16,550 --> 01:00:18,050 He got you talking with a neutral question... 892 01:00:18,220 --> 01:00:19,980 got all of us involved in the conversation... 893 01:00:20,090 --> 01:00:21,770 so that you craved individual attention. 894 01:00:22,470 --> 01:00:23,820 No, I'm just saying the champagne tastes rank. 895 01:00:23,970 --> 01:00:25,730 Lady Sophie Montague-Herring. 896 01:00:25,890 --> 01:00:27,190 Phone call for you at reception. 897 01:00:27,350 --> 01:00:29,190 - Be right back. - We'll see you in a bit, yeah? 898 01:00:29,230 --> 01:00:30,610 See you in a bit. 899 01:00:30,770 --> 01:00:32,620 Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough. 900 01:00:32,770 --> 01:00:34,280 - Are you all right? - No. 901 01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:35,490 Sorry to eavesdrop... 902 01:00:35,650 --> 01:00:39,200 but there's a much easier way to guarantee getting someone home. 903 01:00:39,410 --> 01:00:40,950 Rohypnol. 904 01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:44,870 Or even something stronger. 905 01:01:02,430 --> 01:01:04,100 Who the fuck are you? 906 01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:06,100 Where am I? 907 01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:09,690 This knife... 908 01:01:09,850 --> 01:01:11,900 can save your life. 909 01:01:16,150 --> 01:01:17,150 Fuck! 910 01:01:17,570 --> 01:01:20,370 My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. 911 01:01:20,530 --> 01:01:22,410 What the fuck is Kingsman? 912 01:01:22,570 --> 01:01:24,200 And who's Harry Hart? 913 01:01:24,370 --> 01:01:26,210 I don't know who the fuck that is! 914 01:01:26,370 --> 01:01:27,170 Shit! 915 01:01:27,330 --> 01:01:31,130 Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer! 916 01:01:31,750 --> 01:01:32,750 Fuck! 917 01:01:33,130 --> 01:01:35,680 Just cut the fucking ropes, please! 918 01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:36,880 Hey, Eggsy! 919 01:01:37,050 --> 01:01:38,390 Is Kingsman worth dying for? 920 01:01:40,590 --> 01:01:41,970 Fuck you! 921 01:01:56,270 --> 01:01:57,570 Congratulations. 922 01:01:57,730 --> 01:01:58,950 Bloody well done. 923 01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:02,830 How did the others do? 924 01:02:02,990 --> 01:02:04,790 Roxy passed with flying colors. 925 01:02:05,330 --> 01:02:07,580 Charlie's up next. Want to watch? 926 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,460 Yeah, all right. 927 01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:15,010 Is Kingsman really worth dying for? 928 01:02:15,170 --> 01:02:16,510 No, it fucking isn't! 929 01:02:16,670 --> 01:02:18,510 Shit, I'll tell you what you want. Please! 930 01:02:18,670 --> 01:02:19,970 Chester King is Arthur. 931 01:02:20,130 --> 01:02:22,350 Arthur's head of a spy agency. It's called Kingsman. 932 01:02:22,510 --> 01:02:24,190 - Get me out of here! - Thank you, Charlie. 933 01:02:24,220 --> 01:02:25,560 Much appreciated. 934 01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:28,100 Come on! That wasn't the fucking deal! 935 01:02:28,510 --> 01:02:30,810 Fuck! 936 01:02:37,820 --> 01:02:40,110 I had such high hopes for you. 937 01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,240 You're a bloody disgrace. 938 01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:43,400 Arthur, I'm sorry. 939 01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:45,580 At least untie me. 940 01:02:45,910 --> 01:02:47,250 Untie yourself. 941 01:02:48,910 --> 01:02:51,080 Arthur, please. 942 01:02:52,410 --> 01:02:54,960 I'm the fucking son of the... Shit! 943 01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,630 Anyone? Hello? 944 01:02:57,790 --> 01:03:00,340 Galahad, Percival, congratulations. 945 01:03:00,630 --> 01:03:03,430 Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. 946 01:03:03,590 --> 01:03:07,140 As tradition allows, you now have 24 hours to spend with them. 947 01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:10,940 Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. 948 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:12,680 From now on... 949 01:03:13,140 --> 01:03:14,620 there are no safety nets, understood? 950 01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:19,480 Good. Dismissed. 951 01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,450 Charlie, time to go home. 952 01:03:25,610 --> 01:03:26,960 Fuck you. 953 01:03:27,370 --> 01:03:29,620 Fucking dad's gonna hear about this! 954 01:03:31,790 --> 01:03:32,790 "To pee or not to pee?" 955 01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:36,040 That was the headline... 956 01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,800 the day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris. 957 01:03:39,290 --> 01:03:40,970 "Germany, 1, England, 5." 958 01:03:41,130 --> 01:03:42,220 Missed that game. 959 01:03:42,380 --> 01:03:45,350 I was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the Pentagon. 960 01:03:50,850 --> 01:03:52,140 My first mission. 961 01:03:52,310 --> 01:03:54,110 Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher. 962 01:03:55,310 --> 01:03:56,990 Not everybody would thank you for that one. 963 01:03:57,060 --> 01:03:59,810 The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them. 964 01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:04,030 Front page news on all these occasions was celebrity nonsense. 965 01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:07,870 Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret. 966 01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:11,670 A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times. 967 01:04:11,830 --> 01:04:14,170 When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies. 968 01:04:14,330 --> 01:04:17,500 And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen. 969 01:04:17,830 --> 01:04:19,180 That's me fucked then. 970 01:04:20,170 --> 01:04:22,050 It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb. 971 01:04:22,210 --> 01:04:23,210 Nonsense. 972 01:04:23,380 --> 01:04:26,300 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth. 973 01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,680 Being a gentleman is something one learns. 974 01:04:29,430 --> 01:04:31,270 Yeah, but how? 975 01:04:32,180 --> 01:04:33,430 All right, first lesson. 976 01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:35,400 You should've asked me before you took a seat. 977 01:04:36,890 --> 01:04:38,020 Second lesson... 978 01:04:39,020 --> 01:04:40,360 how to make a proper martini. 979 01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:43,450 Yes, Harry. 980 01:04:46,030 --> 01:04:49,080 Goddamn it! This fucking hurts! 981 01:04:49,570 --> 01:04:52,080 You're the one who asked for a biometric security system. 982 01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:53,370 What's wrong with a simple switch? 983 01:04:53,530 --> 01:04:54,540 A simple switch? 984 01:04:54,700 --> 01:04:58,380 This is an extremely dangerous machine. 985 01:04:58,540 --> 01:05:03,090 It should only be operated by someone as responsible and sane as me. 986 01:05:03,290 --> 01:05:05,550 Bad shit could happen if this falls into the wrong hands. 987 01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:10,430 We done here? Shit! 988 01:05:10,590 --> 01:05:13,220 No. Now this one. 989 01:05:13,390 --> 01:05:14,470 For the test at the church. 990 01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:16,440 This one just has a short range. 991 01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:18,150 A simple switch will do. 992 01:05:24,110 --> 01:05:26,990 So are you gonna teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady? 993 01:05:27,150 --> 01:05:28,620 Don't be absurd. 994 01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:31,450 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's accent. 995 01:05:31,610 --> 01:05:33,910 It's about being at ease in one's own skin. 996 01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:35,620 As Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble... 997 01:05:35,790 --> 01:05:38,160 "in being superior to your fellow man. 998 01:05:38,580 --> 01:05:42,080 "True nobility is being superior to your former self." 999 01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:49,140 Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. 1000 01:05:49,300 --> 01:05:52,600 By which I mean, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg. 1001 01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:55,140 And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. 1002 01:05:55,300 --> 01:05:58,100 So let's get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not... 1003 01:05:58,270 --> 01:06:02,650 you'll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman. 1004 01:06:02,810 --> 01:06:06,440 I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman is completing his fitting. 1005 01:06:06,610 --> 01:06:08,780 Fitting Room Two is available. 1006 01:06:08,940 --> 01:06:12,950 One does not use Fitting Room Two when one is popping one's cherry. 1007 01:06:14,030 --> 01:06:16,830 Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait. 1008 01:06:27,210 --> 01:06:28,460 So we going up or down? 1009 01:06:28,630 --> 01:06:29,800 Neither. 1010 01:06:31,050 --> 01:06:32,050 Is this it? 1011 01:06:32,220 --> 01:06:35,310 Of course not. Pull the hook on your left. 1012 01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:43,560 Oh, yes. 1013 01:06:43,810 --> 01:06:45,980 Very, very nice. 1014 01:06:49,030 --> 01:06:51,530 You're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit. 1015 01:06:51,690 --> 01:06:55,820 An oxford is any formal shoe with open lacing. 1016 01:06:55,990 --> 01:06:59,210 This additional decorative piece is called broguing. 1017 01:06:59,370 --> 01:07:00,540 "Oxfords not brogues." 1018 01:07:00,700 --> 01:07:02,330 Words to live by, Eggsy. 1019 01:07:02,540 --> 01:07:05,170 Words to live by. Try a pair. 1020 01:07:05,920 --> 01:07:07,680 Your weapon scores are excellent, by the way. 1021 01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:12,090 These you are familiar with, and this is our standard issue pistol. 1022 01:07:12,260 --> 01:07:13,880 It's quite unique, as you'll see. 1023 01:07:14,050 --> 01:07:17,400 It also fires a shotgun cartridge for use in messy close-range situations. 1024 01:07:17,550 --> 01:07:19,020 - How do they feel? - Yeah, good. 1025 01:07:19,180 --> 01:07:20,520 Now do your very best impersonation... 1026 01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:22,350 of a German aristocrat's formal greeting. 1027 01:07:25,900 --> 01:07:27,110 No, Eggsy. 1028 01:07:31,230 --> 01:07:32,490 That is sick. 1029 01:07:33,530 --> 01:07:35,650 In the old days, they had a phone in the heel as well. 1030 01:07:35,660 --> 01:07:36,700 How do I get it back in? 1031 01:07:36,860 --> 01:07:40,740 Well, it's coated in one of the fastest acting neurotoxins known to man... 1032 01:07:40,910 --> 01:07:42,410 so very carefully. 1033 01:07:44,330 --> 01:07:48,050 Now, I've had a lot of fun with this. 1034 01:07:48,210 --> 01:07:51,210 One of our finest examples of chemical engineering. 1035 01:07:51,380 --> 01:07:53,880 A poison, harmless when ingested... 1036 01:07:54,050 --> 01:07:55,930 but at a time convenient to you... 1037 01:07:56,090 --> 01:08:00,100 can be remotely activated. Primed. 1038 01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:02,560 Lethal. 1039 01:08:03,770 --> 01:08:05,890 What about these? What do these do? 1040 01:08:06,270 --> 01:08:08,240 - Electrocute you? - Don't be ridiculous. 1041 01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:10,240 - It's a hand grenade. - Shut up! 1042 01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:12,840 If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. 1043 01:08:12,860 --> 01:08:14,950 A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand. 1044 01:08:15,110 --> 01:08:18,080 But a Kingsman wears it on whichever hand happens to be dominant. 1045 01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:19,680 Touch the contact behind the ring... 1046 01:08:19,740 --> 01:08:20,870 it delivers 50,000 volts. 1047 01:08:22,790 --> 01:08:25,250 And what about them? What makes them so special? 1048 01:08:25,410 --> 01:08:26,410 Nothing. 1049 01:08:26,580 --> 01:08:29,300 That technology has caught up with the spy world. 1050 01:08:30,290 --> 01:08:32,090 Put it back, Eggsy. 1051 01:08:34,460 --> 01:08:35,930 Perfect timing. 1052 01:08:36,090 --> 01:08:37,970 The gentleman's just finished. 1053 01:08:43,100 --> 01:08:44,440 Mr. DeVere! 1054 01:08:45,930 --> 01:08:47,610 What a coincidence. 1055 01:08:48,230 --> 01:08:51,110 You are totally the reason I'm here. 1056 01:08:51,310 --> 01:08:52,440 When you left my house... 1057 01:08:52,610 --> 01:08:56,410 I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on. 1058 01:08:56,570 --> 01:08:58,070 And since I'm going to Royal Ascot... 1059 01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,400 and, apparently, you need one of these penguin suits... 1060 01:09:00,820 --> 01:09:02,000 here I am. 1061 01:09:02,580 --> 01:09:03,580 What are you doing here? 1062 01:09:03,830 --> 01:09:05,170 What's up, man? 1063 01:09:05,330 --> 01:09:06,450 Richmond Valentine. 1064 01:09:06,790 --> 01:09:09,790 This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor. 1065 01:09:09,960 --> 01:09:12,800 Another coincidence. So am I. 1066 01:09:13,170 --> 01:09:15,370 Have you had any chance to think further on my proposal? 1067 01:09:15,420 --> 01:09:16,420 Most definitely. 1068 01:09:16,630 --> 01:09:19,630 My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. 1069 01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:21,270 I guarantee it. 1070 01:09:21,970 --> 01:09:23,310 A word of advice. 1071 01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:25,860 Ascot requires top hat. 1072 01:09:26,850 --> 01:09:29,980 I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters. 1073 01:09:30,810 --> 01:09:31,860 Saint James's. 1074 01:09:32,020 --> 01:09:33,270 "Lox" as in smoked fish? 1075 01:09:33,610 --> 01:09:36,160 As in, "locked up." 1076 01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:42,120 I have trouble understanding you people sometimes. 1077 01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,790 You all talk so funny. 1078 01:09:51,790 --> 01:09:54,890 Gentlemen, would you look after him, please? 1079 01:10:07,390 --> 01:10:08,690 Now this... 1080 01:10:08,850 --> 01:10:10,730 is a dope-ass top hat. 1081 01:10:12,390 --> 01:10:15,690 Gazelle, let's go ascoting. 1082 01:10:17,190 --> 01:10:18,410 Your hat looks fine, Gazelle. 1083 01:10:18,570 --> 01:10:21,410 Come on! Don't make me late for the queen. 1084 01:10:22,150 --> 01:10:24,830 Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late. 1085 01:10:24,990 --> 01:10:26,540 How far is Ascot? 1086 01:10:26,990 --> 01:10:28,040 How far? 1087 01:10:32,250 --> 01:10:33,770 Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir? 1088 01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:35,540 Sit down. 1089 01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:42,010 Pretty dog. 1090 01:10:42,420 --> 01:10:43,720 What's his name? 1091 01:10:43,880 --> 01:10:44,890 J.B. 1092 01:10:45,050 --> 01:10:47,230 - As in "James Bond"? - No. 1093 01:10:47,510 --> 01:10:49,020 "Jason Bourne"? 1094 01:10:49,180 --> 01:10:51,180 No. "Jack Bauer." 1095 01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:52,560 Oh! 1096 01:10:53,230 --> 01:10:54,230 Bravo. 1097 01:10:54,900 --> 01:10:56,020 It pains me to admit it... 1098 01:10:56,190 --> 01:10:59,070 but I think that one day, you might be as good a spy... 1099 01:10:59,230 --> 01:11:00,700 as any of them. 1100 01:11:07,740 --> 01:11:09,410 Take it. 1101 01:11:16,250 --> 01:11:17,470 Shoot the dog. 1102 01:11:24,260 --> 01:11:25,560 This weapon is live. 1103 01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:29,760 Shoot the dog. 1104 01:12:08,430 --> 01:12:09,470 Give me the gun. 1105 01:12:20,810 --> 01:12:22,530 At least the girl's got balls. 1106 01:12:26,150 --> 01:12:27,150 Get out. 1107 01:12:27,820 --> 01:12:29,820 I knew you couldn't make it. 1108 01:12:33,120 --> 01:12:34,460 Go home. 1109 01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:38,800 Merlin, send in Roxy, please. 1110 01:13:02,560 --> 01:13:05,570 Welcome to Kingsman... 1111 01:13:06,530 --> 01:13:07,650 Lancelot. 1112 01:13:31,010 --> 01:13:32,010 Mum! 1113 01:13:32,430 --> 01:13:33,550 Eggsy! 1114 01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:35,060 Oh, God. Where have you been? 1115 01:13:35,220 --> 01:13:37,220 I've been so worried about you. 1116 01:13:39,180 --> 01:13:42,440 Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown! 1117 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:50,280 - Where is he? - I'm fine. 1118 01:13:50,450 --> 01:13:52,120 Eggsy, please, just don't get involved. 1119 01:13:52,280 --> 01:13:53,950 I should never have left you on your own. 1120 01:13:54,120 --> 01:13:56,540 This stops right now. 1121 01:13:56,700 --> 01:13:57,790 I'll be right back. 1122 01:13:57,950 --> 01:13:59,550 Eggsy. 1123 01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:03,260 Oi, Dean! 1124 01:14:04,250 --> 01:14:06,090 Mugsy, so you're back. 1125 01:14:06,250 --> 01:14:08,130 What, you gone and nicked a fucking taxi, now? 1126 01:14:08,300 --> 01:14:09,720 Yeah. 1127 01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:11,930 Can I have a word about my mum's black eye? 1128 01:14:12,930 --> 01:14:14,640 You want to have a word with me, you get out of that cab... 1129 01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:16,960 I'll knock you straight back down on your fucking arse. 1130 01:14:18,720 --> 01:14:20,730 Tell your muppets to go inside, then I'll get out. 1131 01:14:22,980 --> 01:14:24,900 Go on, lads. It'll be two hits. 1132 01:14:25,060 --> 01:14:27,110 Me hitting him, him hitting the floor. 1133 01:14:27,610 --> 01:14:29,950 Come on, then, you prick. 1134 01:14:30,110 --> 01:14:31,990 Let's see what you got. Want a bit of me? 1135 01:14:32,150 --> 01:14:32,950 What are you doing? 1136 01:14:33,110 --> 01:14:34,110 No, no, no! 1137 01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:34,950 Get out of the fucking car! 1138 01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:36,990 What are you doing? Where you going, you mug? 1139 01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:38,460 Go on, you got no bollocks! 1140 01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:41,250 Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum! 1141 01:14:41,410 --> 01:14:42,810 Come back when you've grown a pair! 1142 01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:43,960 Mugsy! 1143 01:15:06,730 --> 01:15:07,730 You throw away... 1144 01:15:07,900 --> 01:15:11,870 your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. 1145 01:15:12,860 --> 01:15:15,210 And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss's car. 1146 01:15:15,450 --> 01:15:17,540 You shot a dog just to get a fucking job. 1147 01:15:17,950 --> 01:15:18,950 Yes, I did. 1148 01:15:21,950 --> 01:15:25,830 And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit! 1149 01:15:27,420 --> 01:15:29,920 You shot your dog and had it stuffed? 1150 01:15:30,090 --> 01:15:31,300 You fucking freak. 1151 01:15:31,460 --> 01:15:32,840 No, I shot my dog... 1152 01:15:33,010 --> 01:15:34,680 and then I brought him home and continued to care for him... 1153 01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:37,270 for the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis. 1154 01:15:38,010 --> 01:15:40,640 - What? - It was a blank, Eggsy. 1155 01:15:41,810 --> 01:15:43,480 It was a fucking blank. 1156 01:15:44,270 --> 01:15:45,650 Remember Amelia? 1157 01:15:45,810 --> 01:15:46,560 Yeah. 1158 01:15:46,730 --> 01:15:47,850 She didn't drown. 1159 01:15:48,020 --> 01:15:50,770 She works in our tech department in Berlin. She's fine. 1160 01:15:50,940 --> 01:15:52,160 Limits must be tested... 1161 01:15:52,320 --> 01:15:54,950 a Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another. 1162 01:15:55,110 --> 01:15:58,080 Like my dad saved your life even though your fuck-up cost his. 1163 01:15:58,240 --> 01:15:59,910 Or have you got him stuffed here and all? 1164 01:16:01,950 --> 01:16:05,050 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1165 01:16:10,840 --> 01:16:12,510 Harry, listen to this. 1166 01:16:12,670 --> 01:16:14,470 Valentine is at last saying something of note. 1167 01:16:14,840 --> 01:16:17,090 Do you know what I love about pen and paper? 1168 01:16:17,590 --> 01:16:20,100 Nobody can hack into this shit. 1169 01:16:20,510 --> 01:16:23,860 Our worldwide tour was a complete success. 1170 01:16:24,020 --> 01:16:26,490 We have total coverall. 1171 01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:29,440 Like when all your numbers in bingo are crossed out. 1172 01:16:29,610 --> 01:16:30,610 Bingo? 1173 01:16:30,650 --> 01:16:34,030 Bingo, the game. You have played bingo, right? 1174 01:16:34,900 --> 01:16:36,700 Do I look like I play bingo? 1175 01:16:38,910 --> 01:16:39,950 Point is... 1176 01:16:40,620 --> 01:16:45,090 if our tests go well at the church tomorrow, we are good to go. 1177 01:16:45,250 --> 01:16:47,750 South Glade Mission Church. 1178 01:16:48,670 --> 01:16:50,840 - Merlin, get the plane ready. - Will do. 1179 01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,760 Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do whatever... 1180 01:16:52,790 --> 01:16:53,800 You should be. 1181 01:16:53,960 --> 01:16:56,600 You just stay right there. I'll sort this mess out when I get back. 1182 01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:04,480 And I say to you... 1183 01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:05,890 bear witness! 1184 01:17:06,060 --> 01:17:08,650 Watch the news. Watch the news. 1185 01:17:08,810 --> 01:17:10,110 AIDS! 1186 01:17:10,560 --> 01:17:11,560 Floods! 1187 01:17:11,561 --> 01:17:13,690 The blood of the innocent, spilled! 1188 01:17:13,860 --> 01:17:19,030 And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God. 1189 01:17:20,860 --> 01:17:27,540 Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! 1190 01:17:27,700 --> 01:17:30,250 And yet, some still doubt... 1191 01:17:30,420 --> 01:17:34,300 this is the work of the antichrist! 1192 01:17:34,460 --> 01:17:39,340 You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore... 1193 01:17:39,510 --> 01:17:42,260 or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter... 1194 01:17:42,590 --> 01:17:44,060 Charming sermon. 1195 01:17:44,220 --> 01:17:45,890 Can you see Valentine anywhere? 1196 01:17:46,060 --> 01:17:47,480 So, my friends... 1197 01:17:47,640 --> 01:17:50,690 although he is a just God, he is justly a vengeful one... 1198 01:17:50,850 --> 01:17:53,820 and there can be no turning back... 1199 01:17:53,980 --> 01:17:55,610 from the almighty wrath... 1200 01:17:55,770 --> 01:17:57,240 Are you sure we're out of range? 1201 01:17:57,480 --> 01:17:59,080 We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong? 1202 01:17:59,190 --> 01:18:00,590 What if the calculations are wrong? 1203 01:18:00,610 --> 01:18:02,210 You just have to trust me. 1204 01:18:03,410 --> 01:18:07,880 ...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them... 1205 01:18:08,040 --> 01:18:09,330 for all eternity. 1206 01:18:09,500 --> 01:18:10,670 Would you excuse me? 1207 01:18:11,670 --> 01:18:12,670 Where are you going? 1208 01:18:13,330 --> 01:18:15,130 Hey! What's your problem? 1209 01:18:16,710 --> 01:18:18,130 I'm a Catholic whore... 1210 01:18:18,300 --> 01:18:21,890 currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend... 1211 01:18:22,050 --> 01:18:24,600 who works in a military abortion clinic. 1212 01:18:25,180 --> 01:18:26,520 So, hail Satan... 1213 01:18:26,680 --> 01:18:28,680 and have a lovely afternoon, madam. 1214 01:18:32,060 --> 01:18:33,480 Oh, shit. He's leaving. 1215 01:18:33,650 --> 01:18:35,240 I'm starting the test now. 1216 01:18:35,690 --> 01:18:37,780 Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards. 1217 01:18:40,570 --> 01:18:43,450 I kindly ask you to sit down, my friend! 1218 01:18:43,610 --> 01:18:44,660 Just leave this church! 1219 01:18:44,820 --> 01:18:47,200 You just leave this church like the infidel you are! 1220 01:18:49,750 --> 01:18:52,970 Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies. 1221 01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,630 You will drown in the blood of the Lord! 1222 01:18:56,790 --> 01:18:58,260 He will not save you! 1223 01:19:04,470 --> 01:19:05,470 Holy fuck! 1224 01:19:07,220 --> 01:19:09,390 Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here. 1225 01:19:51,390 --> 01:19:53,390 Jeez! Fuck. 1226 01:19:54,270 --> 01:19:56,400 Galahad, can you hear me? 1227 01:19:56,810 --> 01:19:57,810 Harry! 1228 01:19:58,190 --> 01:20:00,570 Harry, what the heck is going on? 1229 01:20:01,730 --> 01:20:03,290 Could you turn the volume down, please? 1230 01:20:04,530 --> 01:20:06,500 I didn't expect it to be that effective. 1231 01:20:06,660 --> 01:20:08,140 What kind of response are we talking? 1232 01:20:08,660 --> 01:20:09,660 100 percent. 1233 01:20:10,780 --> 01:20:13,790 So, everyone's been affected, whether they have a SIM card or not. 1234 01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:16,400 And we get the added benefit of wiping out the Kingsman. 1235 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,840 Not yet. 1236 01:21:13,810 --> 01:21:15,100 You need to see this. 1237 01:23:12,170 --> 01:23:14,020 What did you do to me? 1238 01:23:14,340 --> 01:23:15,970 I had no control. 1239 01:23:17,300 --> 01:23:18,770 I killed all those people. 1240 01:23:20,720 --> 01:23:21,940 I wanted to. 1241 01:23:22,100 --> 01:23:23,190 Clever, isn't it? 1242 01:23:23,350 --> 01:23:26,070 In simple terms, it's a neurological wave... 1243 01:23:26,230 --> 01:23:27,870 that triggers the centers of aggression... 1244 01:23:27,940 --> 01:23:29,660 and switches off inhibitors. 1245 01:23:30,190 --> 01:23:33,120 Transmitted through your nasty, free SIM cards, I assume. 1246 01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:38,240 Do you know what this is like? 1247 01:23:38,450 --> 01:23:41,700 It's like those old movies we both love. 1248 01:23:41,870 --> 01:23:44,970 Now, I'm going to tell you my whole plan... 1249 01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:48,380 and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you... 1250 01:23:48,540 --> 01:23:51,170 and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape. 1251 01:23:52,260 --> 01:23:53,720 Sounds good to me. 1252 01:23:54,470 --> 01:23:56,590 Well, this ain't that kind of movie. 1253 01:24:00,220 --> 01:24:02,720 No! 1254 01:24:10,860 --> 01:24:12,580 Is he dead? 1255 01:24:12,730 --> 01:24:15,200 That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head. 1256 01:24:15,400 --> 01:24:16,530 It feels good, right? 1257 01:24:16,990 --> 01:24:19,110 No, no, it does not feel good. It feels fucking awful. 1258 01:24:19,240 --> 01:24:21,540 What? You just killed how many people in that church? 1259 01:24:21,700 --> 01:24:22,700 This is one guy. 1260 01:24:22,830 --> 01:24:24,830 No, no, they killed each other. 1261 01:24:27,710 --> 01:24:29,630 Okay, send out the countdown clock. 1262 01:24:29,790 --> 01:24:32,470 This party starts tomorrow. 1263 01:25:07,120 --> 01:25:08,500 Arthur? 1264 01:25:10,630 --> 01:25:12,130 Are you there? 1265 01:25:12,420 --> 01:25:14,590 Sadly, I am. 1266 01:25:14,960 --> 01:25:18,430 Assemble the Kingsmen. 1267 01:25:22,180 --> 01:25:26,270 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1268 01:25:46,790 --> 01:25:49,160 I see a young man with potential... 1269 01:25:49,960 --> 01:25:52,630 who wants to do something good with his life. 1270 01:26:09,310 --> 01:26:11,650 Arthur, Harry's dead. 1271 01:26:12,310 --> 01:26:14,740 Galahad is dead. 1272 01:26:14,900 --> 01:26:17,320 Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him. 1273 01:26:17,980 --> 01:26:20,530 Well, then you know what that psycho's doing. 1274 01:26:20,700 --> 01:26:23,320 How many people around the world have got those SIM cards? 1275 01:26:23,490 --> 01:26:25,870 Valentine can send his signal to any of them, all of them. 1276 01:26:26,030 --> 01:26:28,080 If they all go homicidal at the same time then... 1277 01:26:28,240 --> 01:26:30,540 Indeed, and thanks to Galahad's recordings... 1278 01:26:30,710 --> 01:26:33,330 we have Valentine's confession. 1279 01:26:33,500 --> 01:26:36,880 The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities. 1280 01:26:37,050 --> 01:26:38,390 Our work is complete... 1281 01:26:38,550 --> 01:26:43,020 and a most distinguished legacy for our fallen friend, it is, too. 1282 01:26:43,840 --> 01:26:45,020 And that's it? 1283 01:26:46,180 --> 01:26:47,350 Come sit down, boy. 1284 01:26:50,730 --> 01:26:55,730 This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy. 1285 01:26:56,770 --> 01:27:00,030 And we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman. 1286 01:27:00,690 --> 01:27:03,700 Galahad was very fond of you. 1287 01:27:05,870 --> 01:27:08,290 And on this occasion... 1288 01:27:08,450 --> 01:27:11,800 I think it's acceptable for us to bend the rules a little. 1289 01:27:14,210 --> 01:27:15,380 Are these all Kingsmen? 1290 01:27:15,540 --> 01:27:17,890 Yes, they're founder members. 1291 01:27:19,250 --> 01:27:21,300 I want you to join me in a toast. 1292 01:27:23,550 --> 01:27:25,550 To Galahad. 1293 01:27:26,550 --> 01:27:28,060 To Galahad. 1294 01:27:32,600 --> 01:27:35,230 Harry says you don't like to break rules, Arthur. 1295 01:27:35,730 --> 01:27:36,820 Why now? 1296 01:27:36,980 --> 01:27:38,230 You're very good, Eggsy. 1297 01:27:38,400 --> 01:27:41,990 Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad's position. 1298 01:27:42,900 --> 01:27:45,620 Provided, of course, that we can see eye to eye... 1299 01:27:45,780 --> 01:27:47,910 on certain political matters. 1300 01:27:50,740 --> 01:27:52,290 Can you guess... 1301 01:27:53,410 --> 01:27:55,010 what this is? 1302 01:27:55,170 --> 01:27:56,840 I don't have to. Harry showed me. 1303 01:27:57,000 --> 01:27:58,500 You click it. I die. 1304 01:27:58,670 --> 01:28:00,470 I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit. 1305 01:28:02,420 --> 01:28:03,420 Bravo. 1306 01:28:03,760 --> 01:28:06,930 Valentine won you over, somehow. 1307 01:28:07,090 --> 01:28:09,940 Once he explained, I understood. 1308 01:28:10,100 --> 01:28:11,350 When you get a virus... 1309 01:28:11,640 --> 01:28:12,860 you get a fever. 1310 01:28:13,020 --> 01:28:17,020 That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. 1311 01:28:17,190 --> 01:28:19,440 Planet Earth works the same way. 1312 01:28:19,610 --> 01:28:21,530 Global warming is the fever. 1313 01:28:21,690 --> 01:28:24,490 Mankind is the virus. 1314 01:28:24,650 --> 01:28:27,030 We're making our planet sick. 1315 01:28:27,200 --> 01:28:29,790 A cull is our only hope. 1316 01:28:29,950 --> 01:28:32,200 If we don't reduce our population ourselves... 1317 01:28:32,370 --> 01:28:34,960 there is only one of two ways this can go. 1318 01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:39,380 The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host. 1319 01:28:39,670 --> 01:28:40,670 Either way... 1320 01:28:40,710 --> 01:28:43,180 The result is the same. 1321 01:28:43,340 --> 01:28:44,970 The virus dies. 1322 01:28:46,050 --> 01:28:49,470 So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself. 1323 01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:52,140 Well, if we don't do something, nature will. 1324 01:28:52,310 --> 01:28:56,650 Sometimes a culling is the only way to ensure that this species survives... 1325 01:28:57,350 --> 01:28:59,480 and history will see Valentine... 1326 01:28:59,650 --> 01:29:01,900 as the man who saved humanity from extinction. 1327 01:29:02,480 --> 01:29:05,830 And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he? 1328 01:29:05,990 --> 01:29:07,200 All his rich mates, they get to live... 1329 01:29:07,360 --> 01:29:09,870 and anyone he thinks is worth saving, he's keeping them safe... 1330 01:29:10,030 --> 01:29:12,000 whether they agree with him or not. 1331 01:29:12,160 --> 01:29:14,330 And you, Eggsy. 1332 01:29:14,870 --> 01:29:16,840 In Harry's honor... 1333 01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:21,670 I am inviting you to be part of a new world. 1334 01:29:23,750 --> 01:29:26,050 It's time to make your decision. 1335 01:29:32,930 --> 01:29:34,900 I'd rather be with Harry. 1336 01:29:35,520 --> 01:29:36,520 Thanks. 1337 01:29:37,180 --> 01:29:38,560 So be it. 1338 01:29:54,870 --> 01:29:58,120 The problem with us common types... 1339 01:29:58,290 --> 01:29:59,880 is that we're light-fingered. 1340 01:30:01,080 --> 01:30:02,800 Kingsman's taught me a lot... 1341 01:30:02,960 --> 01:30:04,210 but sleight of hand... 1342 01:30:04,880 --> 01:30:06,630 Yes, they're founder members. 1343 01:30:09,260 --> 01:30:10,550 I had that down already. 1344 01:30:12,890 --> 01:30:16,480 You dirty little fucking... 1345 01:30:16,640 --> 01:30:18,060 prick. 1346 01:30:52,340 --> 01:30:54,090 It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down. 1347 01:30:55,260 --> 01:30:56,810 It's verified. 1348 01:30:59,180 --> 01:31:01,780 Arthur's phone is receiving update texts about getting to safety. 1349 01:31:01,930 --> 01:31:03,690 - We don't have a lot of time. - What are you going to do? 1350 01:31:03,850 --> 01:31:05,980 The question is, what are we going to do? 1351 01:31:06,150 --> 01:31:08,870 God knows who's in Valentine's pocket and who's not. 1352 01:31:09,530 --> 01:31:11,030 We have no choice. 1353 01:31:12,110 --> 01:31:14,210 We are gonna have to deal with this ourselves. 1354 01:31:17,620 --> 01:31:18,960 Follow me. 1355 01:31:37,850 --> 01:31:39,140 What the fuck is this? 1356 01:31:39,310 --> 01:31:41,150 I have no idea. 1357 01:31:42,140 --> 01:31:43,310 What you're playing with... 1358 01:31:43,480 --> 01:31:46,200 is a prototype personal transatmospheric vehicle. 1359 01:31:46,350 --> 01:31:48,650 It was developed as part of Reagan's Star Wars project. 1360 01:31:48,820 --> 01:31:51,740 It's pretty basic, but it should still work. 1361 01:31:51,980 --> 01:31:54,360 We're gonna take out one of Valentine's satellites. 1362 01:31:54,740 --> 01:31:57,210 We're gonna break the chain, stop the signal. 1363 01:31:57,370 --> 01:31:59,290 It'll take him a couple of hours to reroute it... 1364 01:31:59,700 --> 01:32:04,080 which buys us enough time for you to get me into Valentine's mainframe... 1365 01:32:04,250 --> 01:32:06,050 so I can shut it down. 1366 01:32:06,210 --> 01:32:08,510 Lancelot, you're going to be using it. 1367 01:32:08,670 --> 01:32:10,050 Get into your halo suit. 1368 01:32:22,680 --> 01:32:24,800 Swedish Prime Minister, requesting permission to land. 1369 01:32:30,440 --> 01:32:32,190 Permission granted. 1370 01:32:35,780 --> 01:32:38,280 - Please. - Thank you. 1371 01:32:38,450 --> 01:32:40,540 - How many more are we expecting? - Not many. 1372 01:32:40,700 --> 01:32:42,040 Most have their own bunkers. 1373 01:32:42,200 --> 01:32:45,550 I figure we're just getting the really nervous ones. 1374 01:32:45,790 --> 01:32:47,790 Welcome, Prime Minister. 1375 01:32:49,080 --> 01:32:52,050 It seems the implant can emit some kind of counter signal... 1376 01:32:52,210 --> 01:32:55,890 to ensure the wearer remains unaffected by the waves from the SIM cards. 1377 01:32:56,050 --> 01:32:58,100 The waves that turn everyone into a psycho killer. 1378 01:32:58,260 --> 01:33:00,810 Quite. But what he probably didn't tell anyone... 1379 01:33:00,970 --> 01:33:05,230 is it can also super heat their soft tissue at his command. 1380 01:33:05,390 --> 01:33:09,570 Valentine selected his chosen few to get the countdown warning... 1381 01:33:09,730 --> 01:33:12,570 but he had to be sure they didn't blab to the wrong people beforehand. 1382 01:33:12,730 --> 01:33:14,450 How does this help us right now? 1383 01:33:15,400 --> 01:33:16,400 It doesn't. 1384 01:33:16,780 --> 01:33:18,150 Roxy, here we go! 1385 01:33:31,080 --> 01:33:34,680 The higher you go, the more the balloons expand. 1386 01:33:34,840 --> 01:33:36,680 When you reach the edge of the atmosphere... 1387 01:33:36,840 --> 01:33:38,970 they'll explode. 1388 01:33:39,130 --> 01:33:41,140 You'll need to deploy your missile just before that, okay? 1389 01:33:41,300 --> 01:33:42,650 Edge of the atmosphere. 1390 01:33:42,800 --> 01:33:46,100 And once you've deployed, you'll need to release for descent, fast. 1391 01:33:47,100 --> 01:33:48,350 Good luck. 1392 01:33:50,690 --> 01:33:52,690 - You can do this, okay? - Yeah. 1393 01:33:52,860 --> 01:33:55,650 Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend. 1394 01:34:18,130 --> 01:34:20,130 You're getting in on Arthur's invitation. 1395 01:34:20,300 --> 01:34:21,520 You're gonna need to blend in. 1396 01:34:21,680 --> 01:34:22,800 I'm supposed to be Arthur? 1397 01:34:22,970 --> 01:34:25,970 His invitation is in his phone. You give them this. 1398 01:34:26,140 --> 01:34:28,640 - Give his real name, Chester King. - What about you? 1399 01:34:28,810 --> 01:34:30,250 I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here. 1400 01:34:31,310 --> 01:34:32,400 Is that gonna fit me? 1401 01:34:32,560 --> 01:34:35,070 A bespoke suit always fits. 1402 01:34:35,230 --> 01:34:37,030 Just be grateful Harry had it made for you. 1403 01:34:37,980 --> 01:34:38,990 Get dressed. 1404 01:34:40,440 --> 01:34:41,720 What the fuck's wrong with them? 1405 01:34:41,820 --> 01:34:44,570 I don't know. Could have something to do with the mass genocide. 1406 01:34:44,740 --> 01:34:46,660 Give me the mic. 1407 01:34:48,490 --> 01:34:50,040 Hey-oh! 1408 01:34:50,200 --> 01:34:53,130 Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello! 1409 01:34:53,290 --> 01:34:55,510 What the fuck is wrong with you people? 1410 01:34:55,670 --> 01:34:58,510 I just wanna remind you that today... 1411 01:34:58,670 --> 01:35:01,270 is a day of celebration. 1412 01:35:02,090 --> 01:35:05,600 We must put aside all thoughts of death... 1413 01:35:05,760 --> 01:35:07,640 and focus on birth. 1414 01:35:08,720 --> 01:35:11,150 The birth of a new age. 1415 01:35:12,350 --> 01:35:17,320 We mustn't mourn those who give their lives today. 1416 01:35:17,480 --> 01:35:19,450 We should honor their sacrifice... 1417 01:35:19,610 --> 01:35:21,610 Has she got my number to call me back? I got a new phone. 1418 01:35:21,780 --> 01:35:24,950 ...and their roles in saving the human race. 1419 01:35:27,370 --> 01:35:31,040 We must put aside doubt and guilt. 1420 01:35:32,460 --> 01:35:36,010 You are the chosen people. 1421 01:35:37,630 --> 01:35:41,100 When folks tell their kids the story of Noah's Ark... 1422 01:35:41,260 --> 01:35:42,260 is Noah the bad guy? 1423 01:35:42,380 --> 01:35:43,050 No! 1424 01:35:43,220 --> 01:35:45,220 Is God the bad guy? 1425 01:35:45,380 --> 01:35:46,060 No! 1426 01:35:46,220 --> 01:35:48,640 How about the animals marching two by two? 1427 01:35:48,800 --> 01:35:49,600 No! 1428 01:35:49,760 --> 01:35:50,760 Of course not! 1429 01:35:51,680 --> 01:35:53,030 Yeah, that's it! 1430 01:35:53,180 --> 01:35:56,980 Let's turn those frowns upside down. 1431 01:35:57,150 --> 01:35:58,990 Eat, drink... 1432 01:35:59,150 --> 01:36:00,820 and Party! 1433 01:36:03,860 --> 01:36:06,410 And I will see you all in the new age. 1434 01:36:31,640 --> 01:36:33,770 Rox, it's me. 1435 01:36:34,270 --> 01:36:35,610 How's the view? 1436 01:36:38,440 --> 01:36:40,530 - Hideous - Mine's pretty sweet. 1437 01:36:40,690 --> 01:36:43,610 - They made you one of these suits yet? - No, not yet. 1438 01:36:43,780 --> 01:36:46,120 You've got something to look forward to then. 1439 01:36:46,280 --> 01:36:48,870 We're coming up on Valentine's base. Gotta go. 1440 01:36:50,320 --> 01:36:51,620 Good luck. 1441 01:36:59,290 --> 01:37:00,290 Looking good, Eggsy. 1442 01:37:02,960 --> 01:37:05,680 Feeling good, Merlin. 1443 01:37:10,970 --> 01:37:12,560 This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo. .. 1444 01:37:12,720 --> 01:37:15,150 Requesting permission to land. 1445 01:37:18,140 --> 01:37:20,690 Permission is granted. 1446 01:37:24,360 --> 01:37:26,160 Fuck me. 1447 01:37:53,350 --> 01:37:55,810 Eggsy, we're on. 1448 01:38:10,530 --> 01:38:11,530 Chester King. 1449 01:38:12,530 --> 01:38:14,500 Mr. King, welcome. 1450 01:38:14,870 --> 01:38:18,670 I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's strict no-weapons policy... 1451 01:38:18,830 --> 01:38:20,170 - but if you don't object... - Of course. 1452 01:38:20,330 --> 01:38:21,550 Thank you. 1453 01:38:22,040 --> 01:38:24,170 Do you have any luggage? 1454 01:38:25,170 --> 01:38:28,590 Congratulations, Mycroft, you just graduated from my pilot to my valet. 1455 01:38:29,220 --> 01:38:31,680 - You cheeky... Understood? 1456 01:38:31,840 --> 01:38:33,090 Good. 1457 01:38:34,390 --> 01:38:36,010 Thank you. 1458 01:39:01,290 --> 01:39:05,920 Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online. The clock is ticking. 1459 01:39:07,090 --> 01:39:09,810 And remember, try to blend in. 1460 01:39:09,960 --> 01:39:11,930 Would sir care for a drink? 1461 01:39:12,550 --> 01:39:13,770 Martini. 1462 01:39:13,930 --> 01:39:16,100 Gin, not vodka, obviously. 1463 01:39:16,260 --> 01:39:19,980 Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. 1464 01:39:20,600 --> 01:39:21,820 Thank you. 1465 01:39:24,600 --> 01:39:26,400 Merlin, are you clocking this? 1466 01:39:26,610 --> 01:39:28,650 Yes, I am. Stay focused. 1467 01:39:29,280 --> 01:39:31,450 Lancelot, you're doing great. Not much further to go. 1468 01:39:32,150 --> 01:39:33,280 Yes, Merlin. 1469 01:39:34,780 --> 01:39:37,080 Eggsy, get me online now. 1470 01:39:37,990 --> 01:39:38,990 Yep, I'm on it. 1471 01:39:40,160 --> 01:39:42,290 Lancelot, you're approaching your altitude limit. 1472 01:39:42,620 --> 01:39:44,420 Those balloons won't last much longer. 1473 01:39:45,290 --> 01:39:47,260 Prepare to engage missile. 1474 01:40:02,640 --> 01:40:03,860 Society's dead. 1475 01:40:04,310 --> 01:40:06,150 Long live society. 1476 01:40:07,150 --> 01:40:08,490 Amen to that. 1477 01:40:09,940 --> 01:40:11,990 - I'm Morten Lindström. - Chester King. 1478 01:40:12,320 --> 01:40:13,660 How'd you get online? I couldn't. 1479 01:40:14,030 --> 01:40:17,000 It's a closed network, you see. Pre-authorized connections only. 1480 01:40:21,200 --> 01:40:22,500 I've got a fix on the satellite. 1481 01:40:22,660 --> 01:40:23,820 Do you have the correct time? 1482 01:40:23,950 --> 01:40:25,170 I think I'm still in my last time zone. 1483 01:40:25,330 --> 01:40:26,710 Yeah, yeah. Let's see now. 1484 01:40:40,800 --> 01:40:41,810 Eggsy, I'm in. 1485 01:40:41,970 --> 01:40:43,060 Get your arse back to the plane, now. 1486 01:40:43,220 --> 01:40:44,820 - On my way. - Lancelot, good luck! 1487 01:40:44,980 --> 01:40:47,150 Firing in 3... 2... 1488 01:40:54,530 --> 01:40:55,530 Nice and slow. 1489 01:40:55,690 --> 01:40:56,870 Fuck are you doing here? 1490 01:40:57,030 --> 01:40:59,370 Well, my family were invited, obviously. 1491 01:40:59,530 --> 01:41:01,160 Now, get the fuck up! Slowly. 1492 01:41:02,370 --> 01:41:04,250 Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire! 1493 01:41:04,410 --> 01:41:06,000 That other balloon is gonna blow! 1494 01:41:06,160 --> 01:41:09,210 Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it. Give me a second! 1495 01:41:11,090 --> 01:41:14,010 Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy! 1496 01:41:14,670 --> 01:41:15,720 V-Glass, zoom. 1497 01:41:15,880 --> 01:41:17,930 Oh, fuck! It's that young valet. 1498 01:41:22,050 --> 01:41:23,430 Son of a bitch. 1499 01:41:24,010 --> 01:41:25,110 Got it! 1500 01:41:35,230 --> 01:41:36,530 Oh, shit. Sound the alarm! 1501 01:41:39,070 --> 01:41:40,150 I'm not taking any chances. 1502 01:41:40,280 --> 01:41:41,920 Okay, you send out the two-minute warning. 1503 01:41:41,950 --> 01:41:44,420 I'm starting the override. All right, let's do this. 1504 01:41:45,740 --> 01:41:47,370 Countdown initiated. 1505 01:41:57,090 --> 01:41:58,760 - You see him? - Right here. 1506 01:42:07,560 --> 01:42:08,810 Eggsy, take a left. 1507 01:42:09,600 --> 01:42:10,600 Two guards, up ahead. 1508 01:42:22,950 --> 01:42:24,250 Lancelot! Release now! 1509 01:42:35,290 --> 01:42:37,090 Eggsy, straight ahead, then right. 1510 01:42:37,460 --> 01:42:38,460 There's two more. 1511 01:42:42,180 --> 01:42:44,270 All right, everybody on your feet! 1512 01:42:44,430 --> 01:42:45,650 Countdown to V-day! 1513 01:42:45,800 --> 01:42:47,310 Welcome in the new age! 1514 01:42:55,690 --> 01:42:56,780 Flat spin. 1515 01:43:11,960 --> 01:43:14,800 Eggsy, next left, down the narrow tunnel! 1516 01:43:23,550 --> 01:43:24,550 Here we go! 1517 01:43:24,720 --> 01:43:25,720 10... 1518 01:43:26,350 --> 01:43:27,690 9... 1519 01:43:28,180 --> 01:43:29,180 8... 1520 01:43:29,850 --> 01:43:30,850 7... 1521 01:43:31,770 --> 01:43:32,770 6... 1522 01:43:33,440 --> 01:43:34,530 5... 1523 01:43:35,100 --> 01:43:36,100 4... 1524 01:43:37,360 --> 01:43:38,110 3... 1525 01:43:38,270 --> 01:43:39,270 2... 1526 01:43:40,030 --> 01:43:41,030 1! 1527 01:43:46,950 --> 01:43:48,790 Nice! Well done, both of you. 1528 01:43:49,540 --> 01:43:50,540 It's not working! 1529 01:43:50,700 --> 01:43:52,750 It's supposed to be working! What the fuck? 1530 01:43:59,550 --> 01:44:00,220 Yes! 1531 01:44:00,380 --> 01:44:01,720 Well done, Rox. Good girl. 1532 01:44:05,090 --> 01:44:07,600 We've lost one of our satellites. 1533 01:44:17,150 --> 01:44:20,900 Oh, no, no. There's no way I can hack past that. 1534 01:44:26,490 --> 01:44:27,490 What's going on? 1535 01:44:28,660 --> 01:44:29,750 Is there a problem? 1536 01:44:30,910 --> 01:44:32,270 Come on. There's no need for guns. 1537 01:44:32,410 --> 01:44:33,910 I'm just a pilot. 1538 01:44:36,920 --> 01:44:37,960 Fuck. Merlin! 1539 01:44:40,750 --> 01:44:42,350 Get in here! 1540 01:44:46,590 --> 01:44:47,760 Come on! 1541 01:44:51,310 --> 01:44:52,650 Let's get the fuck out of here! 1542 01:44:52,810 --> 01:44:53,810 We can't. 1543 01:44:53,970 --> 01:44:55,450 I can't get into Valentine's machine. 1544 01:44:55,600 --> 01:44:57,190 He's got biometric security. 1545 01:44:58,690 --> 01:45:01,990 You're gonna have to get in there and make sure his hand never touches that desk. 1546 01:45:02,150 --> 01:45:03,700 Are you taking the fucking piss? 1547 01:45:03,860 --> 01:45:05,110 I'm afraid not. 1548 01:45:08,280 --> 01:45:09,280 Let's have that then. 1549 01:45:10,950 --> 01:45:12,290 This is mine. 1550 01:45:12,780 --> 01:45:14,710 I'll show you yours. 1551 01:45:32,050 --> 01:45:33,050 Good choice. 1552 01:45:35,680 --> 01:45:37,280 How long to re-link the satellite chain? 1553 01:45:37,390 --> 01:45:38,640 It'll take an hour, maybe two. 1554 01:45:38,810 --> 01:45:40,900 Bullshit! Just bring these two closer together. 1555 01:45:41,060 --> 01:45:42,410 But that's not yours. 1556 01:45:48,070 --> 01:45:49,820 V-Glass, call E-man. 1557 01:45:50,660 --> 01:45:52,000 E, it's V. 1558 01:45:52,160 --> 01:45:54,160 Listen, man, I got a little hiccup on this end. 1559 01:45:54,330 --> 01:45:55,330 I need to piggyback. 1560 01:45:55,490 --> 01:45:59,500 One of my satellites just went down, but it's right next to one of yours. 1561 01:46:00,040 --> 01:46:01,510 You read my mind. 1562 01:46:02,170 --> 01:46:03,760 How long before you make that happen? 1563 01:46:06,840 --> 01:46:07,890 Go. 1564 01:46:12,050 --> 01:46:14,020 All right, we should be coming back online. 1565 01:46:16,930 --> 01:46:17,930 10 percent. 1566 01:46:21,020 --> 01:46:21,770 Shit! 1567 01:46:21,940 --> 01:46:23,740 Eggsy, Valentine's using someone else's satellite. 1568 01:46:23,900 --> 01:46:25,870 He's going to reconnect the chain. 1569 01:46:26,020 --> 01:46:27,540 It's going to take him no time at all. 1570 01:46:28,440 --> 01:46:29,540 It's at 20 percent. 1571 01:46:47,460 --> 01:46:50,720 Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you. Get a move on! 1572 01:47:24,250 --> 01:47:25,630 Is that Kingsman kid dead yet? 1573 01:47:25,830 --> 01:47:27,460 Not yet, but he will be soon. 1574 01:47:27,630 --> 01:47:29,350 Good. 1575 01:47:42,270 --> 01:47:43,270 Merlin, I'm fucked. 1576 01:47:56,490 --> 01:47:57,490 As am I. 1577 01:47:57,660 --> 01:48:00,000 They're coming at me from both sides. I'm out of options. 1578 01:48:00,450 --> 01:48:03,300 Rox, I need a favor. 1579 01:48:03,460 --> 01:48:04,500 Call my mum. 1580 01:48:04,660 --> 01:48:06,260 Tell her to lock herself away from Dean. 1581 01:48:07,000 --> 01:48:08,000 And the baby... 1582 01:48:09,500 --> 01:48:10,500 and tell her I love her. 1583 01:48:19,470 --> 01:48:20,720 For fuck's sake. 1584 01:48:25,060 --> 01:48:28,230 Merlin, remember those implants you said were of no use to us? 1585 01:48:30,020 --> 01:48:31,300 Any chance you can turn them on? 1586 01:48:34,900 --> 01:48:35,700 All right. 1587 01:48:35,860 --> 01:48:38,330 My turn to play, Valentine. 1588 01:48:46,830 --> 01:48:48,000 Oh, no! 1589 01:48:48,170 --> 01:48:50,590 What the fuck is he doing? I can't stop this. 1590 01:49:04,020 --> 01:49:05,060 Yes, please. 1591 01:49:08,730 --> 01:49:09,900 No! 1592 01:50:06,660 --> 01:50:08,760 Oh, my God! 1593 01:50:08,910 --> 01:50:10,920 That is fucking spectacular! 1594 01:50:11,080 --> 01:50:13,840 Merlin, you're a fucking genius! 1595 01:50:14,000 --> 01:50:17,180 What the fuck is happening out there? 1596 01:50:21,470 --> 01:50:22,770 Aren't you that princess who went missing? 1597 01:50:22,930 --> 01:50:23,980 Can you get me out? 1598 01:50:24,600 --> 01:50:26,520 If I do, will you give me a kiss? 1599 01:50:26,680 --> 01:50:28,200 I've always wanted to kiss a princess. 1600 01:50:28,270 --> 01:50:30,830 If you get me out right now, I'll give you more than just a kiss. 1601 01:50:32,520 --> 01:50:33,770 You motherfucker. 1602 01:50:33,940 --> 01:50:35,780 Did you really think I was stupid enough... 1603 01:50:35,940 --> 01:50:38,110 to implant one of those things in my own head? 1604 01:50:38,570 --> 01:50:40,120 What are you, fucking crazy? 1605 01:50:41,070 --> 01:50:43,370 All those innocent people killed and for what? 1606 01:50:44,240 --> 01:50:47,090 You didn't stop shit! 1607 01:50:48,450 --> 01:50:50,460 Fine, I've locked the door. What do you want me to do now? 1608 01:50:50,620 --> 01:50:53,470 As I said, put your daughter in the bathroom and throw away the key. 1609 01:50:54,250 --> 01:50:56,630 It's still happening! 1610 01:50:56,800 --> 01:50:57,970 You're fucking insane! 1611 01:50:58,130 --> 01:50:59,260 Just do it. 1612 01:51:26,580 --> 01:51:27,920 Eggsy, the signal's started! 1613 01:51:28,080 --> 01:51:31,250 Get Valentine's hand off that bloody desk now! 1614 01:51:31,410 --> 01:51:32,410 Sorry, love. 1615 01:51:32,750 --> 01:51:33,840 Got to save the world. 1616 01:51:34,000 --> 01:51:35,590 If you save the world... 1617 01:51:35,750 --> 01:51:37,420 we can do it in the asshole. 1618 01:51:38,670 --> 01:51:40,590 I'll be right back. 1619 01:51:42,010 --> 01:51:43,010 Good luck! 1620 01:51:49,760 --> 01:51:50,760 London. 1621 01:52:19,210 --> 01:52:20,210 Rio. 1622 01:52:36,230 --> 01:52:37,230 Get down! 1623 01:52:39,230 --> 01:52:40,230 You did it! 1624 01:52:49,660 --> 01:52:51,580 The glass is not gonna hold long. 1625 01:52:53,240 --> 01:52:54,870 You stay here. 1626 01:52:57,080 --> 01:52:58,250 Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there? 1627 01:52:58,580 --> 01:53:00,510 - Keep shooting, I'll find a route. - Understood. 1628 01:53:17,060 --> 01:53:18,150 Holy fuck! 1629 01:53:36,660 --> 01:53:37,960 We're back up. 1630 01:53:38,830 --> 01:53:40,130 We're back up! 1631 01:53:47,130 --> 01:53:48,850 This is great! 1632 01:53:56,980 --> 01:53:57,980 Eggsy! 1633 01:53:57,981 --> 01:53:59,520 Fucking get on with it! 1634 01:53:59,690 --> 01:54:00,900 Kick his ass, Gazy! 1635 01:54:07,530 --> 01:54:10,330 Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai! 1636 01:54:18,710 --> 01:54:21,170 Kill that motherfucker! He killed all our friends! 1637 01:54:38,560 --> 01:54:40,560 Eggsy, the world is going to shit! 1638 01:54:49,940 --> 01:54:52,040 - Is he dead yet? - Not yet! 1639 01:54:52,200 --> 01:54:54,290 Stop playing with your food! 1640 01:54:54,450 --> 01:54:55,450 Kill him! 1641 01:56:13,570 --> 01:56:14,950 Gazelle! 1642 01:56:16,780 --> 01:56:17,950 Gazelle! 1643 01:56:27,580 --> 01:56:29,300 Come on! Come on! 1644 01:56:32,300 --> 01:56:33,300 Kill him! 1645 01:56:50,610 --> 01:56:51,610 Hey! 1646 01:57:16,340 --> 01:57:17,840 Well done, son! 1647 01:57:19,180 --> 01:57:20,180 Yes! 1648 01:57:20,300 --> 01:57:21,480 Yes, Eggsy! 1649 01:57:21,640 --> 01:57:23,190 Well done, Eggsy! 1650 01:57:23,680 --> 01:57:24,850 And you, Lancelot. 1651 01:57:27,600 --> 01:57:30,200 I'm so sorry. Mummy would never hurt you. 1652 01:57:30,810 --> 01:57:33,860 Mummy would never hurt you. I'm so sorry. 1653 01:57:36,360 --> 01:57:37,360 Are you okay? 1654 01:57:41,160 --> 01:57:43,030 Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy. 1655 01:57:44,370 --> 01:57:45,460 He was right. 1656 01:58:00,890 --> 01:58:02,180 What's up, man? 1657 01:58:02,550 --> 01:58:05,900 Is this the part where you say some really bad pun? 1658 01:58:07,390 --> 01:58:09,390 Well, it's like you said to Harry. 1659 01:58:12,560 --> 01:58:14,910 This ain't that kind of movie, bruv. 1660 01:58:16,400 --> 01:58:17,820 Perfect. 1661 01:58:38,720 --> 01:58:39,890 Eggsy, where are you going? 1662 01:58:40,050 --> 01:58:42,290 There's no need for champagne. We got loads in the plane. 1663 01:58:49,430 --> 01:58:50,530 Did you save the world? 1664 01:58:51,100 --> 01:58:52,570 Yes, I did. 1665 01:58:53,900 --> 01:58:56,700 So, you gonna come in? 1666 01:58:57,440 --> 01:58:58,940 Yes, I am. 1667 01:59:04,410 --> 01:59:06,280 Merlin, the cell's locked. How do I get in? 1668 01:59:08,580 --> 01:59:10,130 26-25. 1669 01:59:14,460 --> 01:59:17,050 Merlin, you're the guvnor. 1670 01:59:19,260 --> 01:59:21,630 You owe me, Eggsy. 1671 01:59:27,260 --> 01:59:28,310 Eggsy? 1672 01:59:34,310 --> 01:59:35,990 Oh, my word. 1673 02:00:23,190 --> 02:00:26,040 Michelle, turn that shit off. It's doing my nut in. 1674 02:00:27,030 --> 02:00:28,530 I rather like that song. 1675 02:00:29,080 --> 02:00:30,670 Leave it on, eh, Mum? 1676 02:00:34,410 --> 02:00:36,340 Mugsy's back. 1677 02:00:36,460 --> 02:00:38,860 You've finally come to have that word with me, have you, son? 1678 02:00:39,250 --> 02:00:40,610 Or are you gonna run away again... 1679 02:00:40,710 --> 02:00:42,300 and pretend you're going to court, dressed like that? 1680 02:00:42,760 --> 02:00:44,130 Oh, you mean this? 1681 02:00:45,680 --> 02:00:46,970 No. 1682 02:00:47,590 --> 02:00:50,890 I know this bloke who's just taken over a tailor shop on Savile Row. 1683 02:00:51,970 --> 02:00:53,570 He's given me a job, Mum. 1684 02:00:54,270 --> 02:00:55,560 It comes with a lot of perks. 1685 02:00:56,940 --> 02:00:58,280 Including a house. 1686 02:00:59,440 --> 02:01:01,280 Come and live with me there, Mum. 1687 02:01:01,860 --> 02:01:02,950 Come on. 1688 02:01:03,110 --> 02:01:04,110 Sit down, you. 1689 02:01:05,240 --> 02:01:07,480 Only place she'll be visiting is you in fucking hospital. 1690 02:01:07,570 --> 02:01:09,370 - Do you hear? - Just leave him alone, Dean! 1691 02:01:09,530 --> 02:01:11,790 Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe. 1692 02:01:13,240 --> 02:01:14,540 All right. 1693 02:01:14,700 --> 02:01:16,250 That's it, do as Mummy says. 1694 02:01:16,410 --> 02:01:19,260 Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours, and knock up a nice chicken costume. 1695 02:01:19,420 --> 02:01:20,790 It'll suit you, you mug. 1696 02:01:23,050 --> 02:01:25,840 As a good friend once said... 1697 02:01:27,130 --> 02:01:28,260 "Manners... 1698 02:01:30,180 --> 02:01:31,180 "maketh... 1699 02:01:33,720 --> 02:01:34,720 "man." 1700 02:01:35,600 --> 02:01:37,940 - Dean? - Shut the fuck up. 1701 02:01:38,100 --> 02:01:40,530 Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners up your fucking... 1702 02:01:46,490 --> 02:01:47,490 So... 1703 02:01:47,740 --> 02:01:51,740 are we gonna stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight?