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Tossing the sugar.
It's mandatory during this performance
to have your arms around Kate Shiel.
Oh OK.
Not any pretty old things.
But specifically this young lady.
Would you get a close up.
OK.
Get close up.
What?
Get close up!
OK.
Alright I'm going to get a quick shower.
Do you want me to join you?
No it's going to be real quick OK.
We're going to be doing some nostalgic type shit.
While she's here.
So it might be really like h... not hairy.
But it might be really tight in term of like meeting up, hanging out.
And stuff like that, you know.
Yes I want to meet her. I mean.
Yes I know you do and she...
Probably wants to meet you. And I want all of us to hang.
But I'm just warning you
she's here to handle some business.
She said it's involved with our company that we had.
Did I ever tell you I had a company with her?
When I lived in New York?
No.
This looks dumb.
It's going to be so stupid to drive
to the airport wearing this.
This is retarded.
Why do you care so much?
I haven't seen Kate in a long time.
I'm trying to look fucking good for her.
OK?
You're trying to look good for her?
Trying to look good for her so she can feel bad about her fucking...
Because she probably thinks she has a pretty hoity-toity lifestyle.
I think she's...
Why do you need to make her jealous?
I'm not trying to make her jealous, I'm trying to make her feel bad about her life.
There is a difference.
Alright it's too complicated to explain.
We should bring her to Mustache Madness.
No I don't um...
She doesn't like to party actually.
She doesn't like parties like that.
She doesn't like those sorts of environments.
She's really like a one on one type person.
- Hat? No hat? - No hat.
I think hat. I think hat is good.
Hey babe before you go can you pass me my phone.
Sure.
Are you waiting for your bags?
Yes.
Where are you headed?
To my friend's house.
He's coming to pick me up right now.
I thought I was picking you up right now.
Hello.
Hey.
Are you close?
Yes I've been on the road for a while.
It's just crazy. There's traffic and...
There's some accidents.
OK I'm just waiting for my bag.
But then I'll meet you outside. OK.
Of course I picked you up.
Why not? Why wouldn't I?
It's my pleasure to pick you up. What, you're gonna to take the bus?
Oh you're really sweaty.
I know I'm really really really fucking sweaty.
As you say it doesn't. It's it's weird.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Yo you're here. - Hi.
Now it's really good.
I'm sweating my life away trying to come and get you.
- It's warm. - It's hot as hell.
Why are you wearing a corduroy jacket?
And a leather tie?
And a hat?
This is a good look.
Yeah I can see that.
This is good good. I feel good.
It's very well defined.
It seems like the last time you were here, if I recall...
You loved it so much
that you even agreed to move here with me.
Then somehow you didn't.
I don't actually remember ever saying that I wanted to move here with you.
OK. We don't need to talk about this right now.
Hey you want to see something kind of cool?
- Yes. - You probably don't know about. You ready?
Are you ready?
- It's gone. - Wow Eugene, let's see.
Yes I always keep my eyes on the road.
Wow what are you going to do?
Let it go?
Kind of try and wear a hat a lot these days.
Sorry I just felt like touching a full head of hair.
Just felt like the right thing to do at the time.
- What is this? - Do you like this?
- Um it's... - Oh it's this!
- Yeah it's the thing, it's the door handle yeah. - That's a nice car.
See this part. Thank you yeah, it's across the car.
- Um you see this. - Yes.
- So this part you've got to... - I get it, I get it.
Plug into...
- Sure. - You hungry?
Yes.
I got a spot. OK. You pumped?
Yes.
- Great. - Are you pumped?
I fucking eat there every night.
It doesn't sound very special.
It's special that I'm taking you there.
♪ You used to humor me ♪
♪ I love the way she humors me
♪ I know it's just a game and I'm to blame
♪ But I love the way she humors me ♪
Are you going to choke me with your hands?
I know that when I sing it makes you writhe.
Riddle me this.
Who was actually bringing in the money the first two years?
When you were building up...
- We both were. - You needed investment for your line.
We both were.
Yeah but I was doing it through things I'm still doing.
Which is buying clothes and selling them.
Yes and I was investing in something.
That is now relatively profitable.
- Cool and I'm very... - Not greatly but relatively.
I'm proud of you and I think you're a wonderful chick.
Chick?
Alright. This is your special spot?
- Yep. - Isn't this a car wash?
Listen don't judge a book by its cover.
So one pastor, pineapple burrito with everything.
And you want to get whatever you get with pineapple.
I'll have the same but without pineapple.
No pineapple?
It's very good with pineapple.
Oh yes it's the best.
It's the best.
- I believe you. - She doesn't want it though.
She hates the best, she likes the worst.
Yes OK.
We've got a lot of options here but you want to use them all.
They're fermented onions.
These are the things that will really make you burn tomorrow.
You know how weightlifters talk about the burn?
Yes.
This is like that but out of your butthole.
Make sure to get a lot of it.
I'm going to get a lot of them for you.
- Thank you. - Yes.
Because one of the reasons I'm excited about your trip.
Is that I can finally get a stool sample from you.
OK so then you've got your parsley.
Don't film me, film this stuff.
- You can always get me. - I can do both.
We're only going to get this once. This is a culinary adventure.
So here we go. We've got this parsley. Oh yes.
This is good.
It's Cilantro...
Green means good. It's just enough for me.
It's not parsley.
OK fine. And last of all...
You got your pico OK. And pico is really the best of all.
It's a mix of tomato...
I'm going to go back to the car.
Are you kidding?
- Thanks a lot man. - Hey you good night.
OK have a good night. Yes.
I've got it.
Are you ready?
Yes.
That's nice.
Yes everybody here is really acrobatic.
Talented.
Yes that's how things work in Los Angeles.
That's how you wound up here?
Yes it's an industry town.
So people have to have lots of talent.
So what do you want to do on this trip?
I want to hang out with you.
Right.
I'd like to see a few other friends.
What else?
I want to do a bit of paperwork.
That's cool.
- Can we have fun? - Yes.
- I think we're already having fun. - OK.
Why don't, somewhere in the midst of our fun, we do paperwork?
That sound good?
- That is exactly what I was suggesting. - I've got an idea.
What?
Me, you, my house, getting drunk, listening to music, talking...
Sounds super fun.
Great let's do that.
I've got an idea too.
Is it just what I just said?
Are you just going to repeat it back to me?
- Because that sounds good. - No it's different.
Have you heard of this thing Mustache Madness?
Yeah.
A friend of mine said it was fun and I thought we could check it out.
A friend of yours said it was fun. Sounds like an enemy told you that.
- Why? - I don't go there any more.
What's your beef with Mustache Madness?
My beef is that I don't feel the vibe there.
They're very judgey.
I don't come in in track pants.
- No one there likes you. - I'm not wearing Nike.
I don't take it up the ass.
There's all sorts of issues with my going there.
And if someone in New York told you about it...
It's probably somebody who's on that international underground party circuit.
I don't want to have anything to do...
- Like me? - Like you.
Yes so you must network with people.
Thank you for buying me the burrito.
The second I can't afford to buy a $5 burrito for one of my best friends in the world,
is the second I become a truly pathetic person.
So thank you for thanking me for not being a truly pathetic person.
- I'll pay you back. - Oh great.
Don't worry. That's normal.
Basically, I have to do this, like every day. Are you going to film it?
- Let's see your stuff. - OK.
You've got to do it three times.
Ready?
Let's go.
OK.
Sorry I meant to say that in a cool way but I know...
- Let's go. - Alright fine. Let's go.
Are you excited to go to Mustache?
So excited.
Great. Me too. But first I've got to go home and take care of something.
Take care of what?
Could you close the door.
- No. Why? - It's gross, really gross.
This is what I was looking forward to.
Shitting with the door open?
Us. I was looking forward to us.
Don't tell me you never walk by a bathroom door and think it would be great...
God I wish that door were open and Eugene was just inside taking a shit.
Exactly.
What's this cleaver thing?
That's for my neighbor Vish.
Like a birthday card he gave me.
You made my life monumentally better even when you come over at 3 am to beat me up.
I actually never even read it.
He read it to me once and just slammed it on that cabinet.
I love you and I remain your friend.
Ooh!
It's so weird how I felt I was getting diarrhea in the car...
But now that I'm here I feel so constipated.
Ha!
That's a cute clip you've got.
I think it probably belongs to...
Is it your girlfriend's?
My girlfriend?
Yes.
She's great. She's out of town this week though.
You probably won't meet her.
- OK. - Yes.
God I don't know why nothing's coming out.
Gross.
- Just honest. - How long are you going to be in there?
I don't want to tempt fate so I can't actually say with any sense of accuracy.
OK.
I think what I'm going to do is get changed and call a car.
And then if you want you can meet me at the club.
If you wait 5-7 minutes...
I don't want to jinx myself. Let's be honest, 5-7...
- I don't want to rush you. - Listen I'm practically wiping right now.
- Really. Are you? - No but I will be.
So I'm going to get out of here and we're going to go to the club.
I really feel that the cowboy look is going to be really stupid at Mustache Madness.
They're getting ready for the 4th.
Open the door.
Actually I have to go and feed my neighbor's cat.
Why?
You know Vish?
He lives right there. I've got to go and feed his cat.
Do it quick though.
OK mom we'll go it quick.
Look I want to go to the club just as much as you do.
Liar!
Hey Burrows.
Come on Burrows.
I feel like...
I could be wrong but is this guy an artist?
Yeah something like that.
Are you happy this is what we're going?
Yes I am.
OK good, me too.
I'm going to have a very fucking good time.
- Me too. - Get ready.
Yes.
Get ready to see someone who's having a good time.
I think there it is.
- Hi. - Hi.
I thought you weren't coming tonight.
Ah... I'm here.
Hello darling.
Ernest...
Hey. How are you?
- Shall we just go in? - Yeah.
We're just going to go in.
Come on in.
- Alright thanks baby. - Thank you.
Do you want a drink?
There's kinda nobody here I like.
Didn't you just say "hi" to like 5 people?
They said "hi" to me.
They hug me!
What am I supposed to do? Push them away?
I know that guy.
Yeah... that's uhh--
I'll be right back.
The important thing to remember is you don't have to remember.
It's nice to be good at something you love.
Hi.
Kate, we met in New York.
Ah yes New York. Fashion Week.
Wonderful. Clothesier?
And here I am.
What's up Dork? I thought you weren't going to come.
I wasn't but here I am now.
Where's your friend that you picked up?
Oh she's here, like over there.
- Talking to... - Oh, cool, Paulston.
- Yeah... - He's cool. I like him.
Do you know him?
- Yeah, well I mean you know... - He makes cool clothes.
Like, that girl's stuff is from him.
OK.
I'm just saying.
OK well, that girl's stuff is from me.
- No it's not. - No I know, I just made that up.
Do you have any other commitments while you're in town?
I'm just meeting with a few manufacturers.
Oh yes, have you sold any pieces?
- No no. - Well perhaps I can help.
You're so jealous!
It's great. She's talking to him.
I'm here standing, talking to you.
Great.
Aha doing exactly what you'd like to be doing.
Eugene stop it. What are you doing?
Why...? Why are you doing this?
- It's fun. - Why are you making that face?
I have to go inside. I have to pee, I have to pee.
Rude!
Come tomorrow. There's a very elegant soiree...
where you'll meet all the people you need to know
I would love to.
Wonderful. Who are you staying with while you're in town?
I'm staying with an old friend.
Oh! He's gone.
Well it's important to make new friends.
- Yes. - Old friends tend to disappear.
- We'll see you tomorrow. - Yes please.
I'd introduce you, but unfortunately I don't know his name.
Let's get outta here.
Come on. That was fun.
- Yeah that was fun. - It was fun.
It was fun.
Whatever. I'm not trying to lie. I had a good time.
- Yes I saw you. - I'm glad you convinced me to go.
- Thank you. - It was fun.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
No.
Sorry.
That's OK. Whatever. It's fine.
- Sorry. - OK.
Come on. Stop.
- It's OK. Don't worry. - Stop. Stop.
It's alright.
Stop!
- I can't stop. - Stop.
Don't touch me. Just don't touch me.
- If you want to have a problem then touch me. - Stop. Come on. Please. Stop.
- Just don't touch me. I just need like... - Stop. Stop.
You know I need a natural release right?
How long is your friend out of town for?
What friend?
Your cat neighbor.
Ah yeah Vish. Like a hot second. Why?
I'll just stay at his place tonight.
- No. - Why?
Because I made up the couch for you and it's all ready to go.
- Come on. - He has a bed right?
OK.
See you tomorrow.
Um it's Jack... It's getting late and I couldn't reach you.
Maybe you're sleeping. I don't know.
You probably are.
I'm talking to nobody.
So if you want to call I'll be hanging out.
Alright I love you. Bye.
Whoa whoa whoa, what what what, hey hey sorry.
I'm on Ambien. I'm on Ambien. Hey hey. Sorry sorry sorry.
Sorry I thought it was a dream. No no, stop stop stop.
Stop stop stop. Oh my God. No no. Come back. Come back come back. I love you.
- Hey. - Hey.
I'm tired.
VISHWAM VELANDY
THE CRAZIEST THING JUST HAPPENED TO ME.
DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS IN TOWN?
SELLING YOUR STUFF IN ZAGREB CROATIA
AMAZING! I WOULD LOVE TO...
- Eugene? - Huh?
Your mom's calling.
Mmm. No whatever.
Wake up!
No. What is it?
Eugene pick up the call. She's been trying to call.
Alright. Yes. I'll fucking answer it.
Get out of the way. Make it full screen and get out of the way.
Hello?
Euge?
I CAN'T SEE YOU.
TURN ON YOUR CAMERA.
Hi.
HOW'S EVERYTHING?
EVERYTHING'S GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
Fine.
But here it's 11.
AND WHY ARE YOU IN BED AT 11?
I WENT OUT LATE... WITH SOMEONE.
WHO?
REMEMBER KATE?
KATE... YEAH, I REMEMBER KATE.
SHE'S VISITING LA, SO WE HUNG OUT.
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT AGAIN?
YOU WERE SO HURT AFTER YOU BROKE UP.
AFTER ALL THAT, YOU 'HANG OUT' WITH HER?
Come on. That's old shit.
I WOULDN'T SEE HER IN A MILLION YEARS.
WELL, YOU WOULDN'T.
BUT I DID-
And I had a good time.
ACTUALLY... SHE'S SITTING RIGHT HERE.
Kate do you want to say hi to my mom?
Slide in. Say hi to my mom.
Hi.
Nice to see you.
Nice to see you too. How is everything?
Everything's going well thank you. How's everything with you?
OK. OK thank you.
OK.
- Thanks for asking. - Of course.
OK. So I heard you guys had a nice evening last night.
Oh yes we did, we did. It was fun.
Yes. Eugene's a very good host.
- OK good for you. Good to hear. - Uh-huh.
OK mom I'm going to get up and do things now.
OK time to get up.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Do you like that? Talking to her. - No.
- Yes that's kind of scary right. - She hates me.
She doesn't hate you.
- What did she say about me? - She loves me, so much.
No really, what did she say?
No really, she was like 'you are so lazy'.
- 'You never do anything'. - She's right.
- Oh she's right? - Wake up you lazy bum.
Yes and then what?
Let's get something done.
Yes. Right. Let's do something. Oh right.
First I'm going to brush my teeth.
OK. Then what?
- I have an idea. - Uh-huh.
You really want to accomplish something?
Let's get a really good brunch.
It's not really what I'm talking about.
- Water shortage. - I want to do the paperwork.
And then we can get brunch.
That's what you want to get done? The paperwork.
Yes. Brunch can be Plan B.
Alright fine. Whip out the fucking paperwork and we'll do it right now.
I don't have it on me.
OK. Then how do you expect me to sign it?
Do you have a printer?
Does it look like I have a printer?
Can we go to Kinkos?
We not gonna go to fucking Kinkos.
I have so many fucking friends who are writers...
Oh my God.
Graphic designer. I know that's so cool.
That's incredible. Your life here is so amazing.
They have printers you know.
We'll just call one of my friends who has a printer and we'll print there.
- Is that OK with you? - Can we go soon?
Will you stop bugging me so I can fucking finish brushing my teeth?
Shave. Shower. Finally take a shit.
You should brush your teeth because I don't want my friends thinking you stink.
And then we can go.
Or have you already brushed your teeth... you been up for a while?
- Yes. - You should...
You're only here for two days. You should wake me up.
- We should hang out. Why are you being...? - Take a shower please.
Please hurry. Please hurry. Take a shower.
So is that cool?
Yeah I'm alone.
I'm with my friend Kate.
Yeah. It will only take a second, to please use your printer.
Cool cool. OK. See you soon. Bye.
Yeah she says it's good. Yes it's cool it's cool.
- Eugene. - Hello.
- Hi. - How are you?
- Hi. - It's nice to meet you.
Come in. Come in come in. Come in.
- How are you? - Good.
- How are you Lauren? - I'm horrible. Horr... yeah.
- Why? What's up? - Don't know.
See this face.
- Ah. - This is George.
- Alright. That's her ex-boyfriend. - Yeah we broke up.
- Huh. - I'm sorry.
It's OK. I'm in a grieving process. It's going to be OK.
In fact let me get something. Let me get something so you understand.
Take this. OK. I'll be right back.
She broke up with him a really long time ago.
Sit down. Sit down. Sit down, sit down, sit down.
So I brought you guys these.
Juices right here.
Then you take these pills. They're very important.
OK. I want you guys to close your eyes.
Think of an intention.
Meditate on that for 5 seconds.
Close your eyes!
OK now. Now take it.
- Do you guys get it. Do you understand? - Uh-huh.
Think you got it?
- You don't get it! - We get it Lauren.
No you don't. You don't get it. You don't get it.
- We came here for a reason. - Come with me, come with me.
You'll listen to some things. You come over here.
Sit down. I have to get you something. I have another thing.
OK?
OK I want you guys to take these.
This is the most important part.
- Not until the poem. - What poem?
Once you guys hear this poem, everything will make sense. OK?
Sure.
Great. Great.
Come to me.
O you.
With backbone.
Of a Greek.
And your terrible smell.
Like scallop shell I lay here naked and drained.
Of the waters I once belonged to.
And you.
A simple merchant.
My forefathers spit down from heaven.
From a wonderful cloud and sour my sheets.
Time is all it takes for one to pass.
Forgiveness.
A breath.
We are too sick to breathe.
Wow!
It's really good right?
- Really good. - Beautiful Lauren.
Can I use your printer?
Have you ever been through a break up Kate?
- I went through a horrible break up. - Yes.
Well I went through a life changing break up. OK?
Life changing.
Yes. I mean when I broke up with my boyfriend it was...
Do you realise I was with him for 5 months?
And they say that time heals all.
- That's not true. - When did you break up?
7 months ago.
It was the longest relationship of my life.
Yes. We. We shared everything.
Even clothes.
We had the same shoe size. We shared shoes.
Ooh. Lauren. I think your printer is out of ink.
Probably.
- Not good. - Well what do you need to print?
- Like a... business document I think. - Business?
You guys are doing business in my house?
A business deal?
Actually... I think this might be a sign Kate.
- What? - I feel like...
- Of course. - The way that this...
Yes the way that this printer printed out these pages, like this...
- That's a sign. - It's not. The printer's broken.
- It's trying to tell us something. - We should go to Kinkos
It's a sign. OK.
Kate, Eugene. I think you guys need to consult with my psychic first.
OK? I don't do anything without consulting with my psychic first.
And he'll tell us?
He'll tell you. It takes 2 seconds. He's the best.
He's helped me through my entire break up process.
- Alright let's do it. - He's a genius.
Let's do it.
Alright. He's right over here. Come on come on.
I think Kate needs to figure out what this all means.
- There you go. - OK.
- Thanks Eugene. - You're welcome Kate.
You're going to love this guy. He's never steered me wrong before.
- Oh literally he's right here? - Yeah.
All you have to do... is knock.
See what he did there?
Ow.
What's up?
She has a question.
Do we need to pay him?
No.
- Um I don't... - I think it's best if you don't.
Come here. Come.
Hold still. Hold still. Hold still. Come on.
You need this. You need as much of this as you can get.
OK.
Yo. What's up?
Nothing.
Nothing. Look. I know you think you don't need to be here right now.
But the future told me that you do. Alright?
So what I need you to do is open up.
OK, I need to see some calories around you.
Give.
Eugene and I started a company a few years ago.
Ah no. No one cares about your company.
OK?
OK.
That's good. You're opening up. I'm starting to see some calories.
Alright? So come on. Keep going.
- Lauren. - Yes.
I think he's got feelings for her.
Isn't she your sister?
No. She's my ex-girlfriend.
Give me some more.
Uh we're transferring the company over...
so that I'm sole proprietor over the LLC because...
I'm going to start a new...
You OK?
I can smell your future.
Like rotten sugar.
Like a fondue.
Like an infection...
dripping down your legs.
On your dinner. In the gutter.
Because you live there.
Does that sound good?
That's bad.
Your life... it's shaping up to be a tragedy.
- I think I'm still in love with George. - Really?
Yeah.
Come on. You're better than that.
You don't need him.
Kate.
On the other hand she's really special. Like you know we were together...
No!
You've got to let her go.
A hand comes down and squashes you.
Like a penny on a railroad track.
A little squashed railroad penny.
There's men behind you.
They're floating.
So many floaters.
Hundreds, thousands. Legions twisting, turning.
I see you sq...
Wait!
I ain't done.
All I can give is my gift.
She couldn't handle the future.
Everyone goes at their own speed.
Good luck.
It's time for my reading.
S'up girl...
Look. The good thing about that psychic...
is he's not playing softball. Right?
He just calls it like he sees it.
Fuck that guy.
- You've got to respect that right? - Nobody gets me.
Nobody gets me.
Chick, I kind of get you.
Look there's a Kinkos 6 or 7 blocks that way.
- Alright we'll go there. - It's hot as shit outside, I just wanna go home.
Alright... Let's go home then.
Oh why are you getting changed right now?
Because Mickey invited me to a brunch.
- Mickey? - Yeah.
Do you think there are going to be free drinks at the brunch thing?
Um probably.
Do you think there will be free food?
I don't know how many people I can bring.
Maybe I'll get changed too.
Eugene I can just order a car.
Yeah. Or can be normal and fucking take my fully functional car.
How about that?
How long is it going to take for you to fix it?
You know how long it takes. I'm fucking done.
- Yes. - This is... Should I park?
Thank you.
I don't think I can bring a random person inside.
I'm not a random person.
I know. But to them, they don't know you.
- I don't know them. - All right.
- Thank you. - So I'll see you later?
Yeah, I'll call you after.
- Alright. - Bye.
Bye.
Mimosa for everybody.
- Hey. - Hey.
Welcome to LA. How are you?
- Great. - How are you. Do you love it here?
- I'm good. I do. - It's amazing right.
I saw Paulston the other night and he told me about the party...
So I was so glad you were going to be here too.
How have you been? Where are you staying?
I'm staying with Eugene.
- The black guy? - No Russian.
New York.
- Oh didn't he die? - No.
I thought I saw a kick starter or something for the funeral.
Oh how sad!
- No it's not him. - Did you used to date Eugene?
- Yes. - Oh.
So you guys are still friends?
Yeah.
That's weird.
But there's so many good people here.
I can't wait to introduce you.
Let's go mingle.
- I forgot to tell you something. - What?
This is a white party.
Everyone's going to be wearing white.
That's OK.
It's good to stand out.
Yeah. And that's like a dirty white or something.
That guy over there is a fashion photographer.
But not so good.
Don't talk to him.
That girl, her parents are soap opera actors or something. She's loaded.
Over there is a fashion blogger.
And she can destroy your life.
And that woman over there, she's a really old poet.
- Cool. - Yeah.
What's the funny light you?
You know that sort of light makes me think of a nipple. Like a boob and a nipple.
I think about that a lot.
Do you? Because you think it's true what?
Here... This is for me.
Wait, move your head you're blocking the nipple on top.
Let's take a selfie.
There.
- Hi. - I see you've discovered my latest find.
I've known Kate since college.
Are you enjoying my home?
I don't live here. I just use it to entertain guests.
It's lovely.
It is such a nice house.
I think you are the next big thing.
- Thank you. - Let's go this way together.
Hey, what's up? Don't you have a key?
Yeah I didn't want to walk in on you masturbating or anything like that.
Well I just finished so that's not a problem.
Right.
- But. Come on in. - OK.
I came right where her face was. Ha ha.
- You're an idiot. - Why?
It's your ex.
Yeah. And she's a human.
Not to me.
It's very very very good what you've done...
getting into these boutiques.
However... they only order a hundred pieces.
I'm interested in contacting you with the people who can order 10,000.
We're not really set up for that sort of turn out.
No one is until they are.
I am.
I see gold in you. What do you see in me?
- Platinum. - Why would you walk away from platinum?
This could all be yours. Or something very much like it.
Many of the designers work right from here.
I asked you to come when I saw you at Fashion Week...
from New York to Los Angeles, and here you are.
I asked you to come to this soiree.
You've come.
Now I'm asking you to move to Los Angeles.
Work in Los Angeles. Stay here.
And let your dream begin to happen.
Where the fuck is Kate right now?
I don't know.
Probably banging some rich dude at some party.
- Probably. You can guarantee. - Champagne poured up her ass in a funnel.
- Better than being in stupid your house. - I hate you.
I'm going to fuck her.
- No you're not. - Yes I am.
You might fuck her but she will never fuck you.
- Do you understand? - That's a very generous offer.
If you don't have an answer for me before you leave Los Angeles...
I'm afraid there's no longer a question.
I'll take it into consideration.
Excellent.
So what does that new girl you've been banging think of all this?
Fine. She loves it.
What? She loves that you're hanging out with your ex?
Actually I should call her probably.
What are you going to say?
'I want to fuck my ex-girlfriend, do you mind?'
You're so stupid.
Shut up. Shut up. I'm not with you, I'm alone.
Hey baby. Yes!
How are you? Where are you?
Aha.
And then will you be done in a little bit?
Yeah.
Cool.
I'm at home... Do you want to come over?
She's just like every other New York girl I've met.
Desperate coke whore, looking for love in LA.
She's lucky if she leaves with a tan.
- Hey. - Hi.
- I've heard so many nice things about you. - Oh really?
Yes. Have you heard about me?
Hydrate. Water cocktail?
I have heard of them.
It propels weight loss through enzyme activation.
You look like you needed it.
Well don't let me keep you. You should work the room.
First impressions are everything here.
First he went crazy and then what happened?
Did you guys talk about it?
We talked about it.
We like broke up. Decided to stay together.
Broke up again, decided to stay together.
It's crunchtime.
Look at me!
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Actually... I think I have to do my radio show a little bit early.
CAN YOU PICK ME UP? COMING
Sorry.
Hi.
Come on.
How was that?
It was really important and it changed my life.
Cool. Looks like you got sunburn.
Want to go to my radio show?
OK.
Are you pumped?
So pumped.
It's a really good place.
I love it so far.
Yeah I know you think I'm not taking you to a radio station...
- but actually taking you into some... - Into a murder area.
It's not Parade headquarters.
But I am...
Got to get this dirt here.
This is how the true punks live.
This isn't a band aid.
It's the part of the band aid you peel off.
You see that? Here. Go take a look.
Go. You can even catch the DJs before us.
And that was another hit that was never a hit.
Only on Run for Your Life, here on KCHUNG Radio.
This is DJ Euge and I have here a very special guest for us tonight runners.
Can you introduce yourself to all the runners out there.
This is Kate.
This is Kate. Great intro.
Kate we have a special game we play on Run For Your Life.
Whenever we have a cool guest such as you.
That game is called On Air Truth or Dare.
And I'd like to play it with you right now if you don't mind.
Sure.
Are you familiar with the rules of such a game?
I have played the game before. I am familiar with the rules.
So you are ready?
I'm a gentleman so I'll let you ask first.
Oh Eugene. Truth or dare?
Truth. I'm a lover of truth. I often always choose it.
I meant the truth.
What did your mother really say about me this morning?
Well when we were on the Skype this morning...
I told my mom I was hanging out with you and you really didn't count.
She said that you were a 'dumb bitch'...
And she hoped that you would 'die' very soon.
- Ouch. - Yes.
I'm glad that all the cards are on the table.
That the information is at my disposal.
Knowledge is power. OK.
Maybe it's my turn to ask one now.
- Truth or dare? - I'll go with dare.
Of course you wouldn't take Truth. That makes sense.
- What does that mean? - Dare... Oh I have a good one.
I dare you to do that thing you used to love to do in the morning.
Where you'd wake up and I'd already have put my...
'Just get out of bed.' And then you'd continue sleeping...
for hours and hours. That thing that I love.
No this is a different thing.
This is a thing where I place my armpit on your mouth.
And you're inadvertently licking it.
- Yes. - You play that thing...
where I just can't control...
You can't control how badly you want to lick it.
My tongue is just drawn like a moth to a flame.
I'm serious. I'm not kidding.
I'm unbuttoning my shirt right now. OK?
I think I'm going to have to say please go with Truth.
No no no no no no no. You cannot switch horses in mid stream.
The rule of the game is that you pick a thing.
You picked Dare and now you've got to do that. Alright?
You don't want to show everyone at home...
That you're a nothing cheater.
Armpit's out. OK?
Armpit's ready. I'm putting it near the mic. Here.
Come on. This is what you want. Get right in there.
Go for it. This is the dare.
Give it a lick. Come on.
That's nothing. That was a tap.
We're talking about a lick. Give it a lick.
That was a love tap.
We need a straight dare lick.
- Yes. - Oh God it's so salty.
That was a truly horrifying experience.
OK now that we've had a round of On Air Truth or Dare...
Let's play some music.
Only on Run For Your Life. KCHUNG Radio.
- You're good. - You're good.
At licking my armpit.
Off air Truth or Dare?
OK.
Do you still have feelings for me?
- Do you still have feelings for me? - Those aren't the rules.
Are you trying to embarrass me on my own radio show?
Maybe.
Oh man, you guys!
That was some good stuff!
- Hey Steve. - Hey.
This is Steve, the station manager.
- Hi. - It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. - What's going on?
The armpit thing. That's some classic radio right there you know.
You guys are really pushing the envelope.
What's going on after this?
We're probably just going to call it a night.
Yeah me too probably.
- Yeah. - That sounds good.
- Well we've got to get back on air soon. - Yes yes.
You don't want us to do a shout out or anything do you?
No no, I've gotten many of those.
- Love... - Alright...
- See you Steve - Bye.
OK yes. Take care.
A really nice guy. You just have to humor him.
A bit.
I'm really happy that you came on the show with me.
I'm really glad I came to visit.
And we're back um...
I'm really happy you came on the show with me Kate.
Well I'm really glad I came to visit Eugene.
We're calling that a night here at KCHUNG Radio.
Thank you to my very special DJ guest DJ Kate.
And tune in next week when Euge man is rolling solo again.
As usual.
Wasn't that really a dream come true for you?
That was great.
You're always telling me: 'I wish I was a radio star...
I wish I was the significant radio personality like my heroes'.
- Opie and Anthony. - Howard Stern.
Opie and Anthony. Don Innes.
If we really had the big bucks...
We'd be heading up the road to go to a motel tonight.
Now available: Free wireless internet.
- See that? - Uhuh.
- Free. - Yes.
That's the thing about America.
Nothing is free.
We'd probably have to get a room to get free wireless internet here.
- You've got your hill. - Got it all.
You know when you talk about people living on a hill.
You've got your art. Contemporary street art.
You've got everything here.
Cats, feral cats, neighborhood kids.
Kind of keeping in touch with the youth of today.
And the hair that you never had.
Comes back to you. It's really really impressive.
Hey Joy.
Hi Eugene. Surprise!
- How are you? - I cleaned your apartment.
That's really nice. What's up Joy?
- This is um... - Hi I'm Katelyn.
Get the fuck away from me.
I'm going to leave you guys alone so you can do...
No how about you don't.
- Because I've had the... - How about you go and...
Shut up for once.
I've had the pleasure of listening to you for the last two hours.
So you can spare me a fucking minute.
Joy you've got to chill for a second.
- Joy. Seriously. You're acting weird. - I asked you...
if I could come to the station today and you told me...
you didn't want me there because I'd blow your fucking concentration.
And she's co-hosting with you.
It's not her fault.
There's no problem here. I don't know why you're going crazy.
Shut the fuck up. Joy is talking.
You know what we were doing when he went to pick you up...
And take you to his fucking radio show?
We were having sex.
So I'm happy that you enjoy...
I'm sorry. I did actually get a call from the radio station.
I did run into Katelyn in Chinatown. It's just a coincidence.
- Yes and it's probably just a coincidence... - And you're interpreting...
that you ended up at Mustache.
Because Roberto told me that he saw you there with some pale bitch.
And you know what?
- Don't grab her stuff. - Look at your basic...
ass 2012 women and they fucking suck.
So good luck with that one.
And you two enjoy each other.
Hey I'm really really sorry that she fucking blew up.
Oh God, I think she's shit in your shoe.
- Ah she shit in my shoe! - She shit in the left one.
- Will you help me? - No I'm not going to fucking help you.
Well hold the bag. Hold the bag, hold the bag, hold the bag.
No...!
You fucking touched me! Fuck you.
- Help me, help me, help me. - No I will not help you.
Eugene...
Open up won't you. Open up...
Ooh it still smells like shit in here.
It's not that horrible. There's a lot of skunks in the neighborhood anyway.
It smells so bad.
- First I want to wash my hands. - OK.
Then I think I actually really want to poo.
- OK. I want to take a shower after that. - Then I want to get room service.
- What do you want to order? - Lobster.
Maybe we shouldn't go to a motel.
Oh shit watch out. This is Joy.
- Eat shit? - Ow.
She's mildly unstable. God I love her!
- What's up guys? - Very well.
Now you can probably fuck her.
- What are you talking about? - She's my ex-girlfriend.
- Wow. Great. - Yes she just pooped in all my shoes.
- The left ones. - Really?
Just the left shoes.
Wow. Shit. That sucks.
Yes. My house smells like... shit.
And we're going to go to a Chinese hotel on Broadway.
No you're coming to my house for a beer.
- Horrible idea. - That's a great idea.
- Yes yes yes. - Definitely.
- Alright alright alright. - I have beer. I have vodka.
- OK and... - What else do you want?
- Malibu pineapple... - I've got gin...
Terrific. Why were you holding out on us?
So do you think it's at all funny that Eugene is such a pathetic loser now?
What do you mean?
You know what I mean. Like look at him.
It seems like he's doing OK.
No, but he lives in a shithole down there.
And is like...
Yes it looks a lot like your shithole up here.
Stupid girlfriend.
What? No.
They're exactly the fucking same. They're both...
Weird creepy little hobbit holes full of garbage.
It just sounded like, when you guys were going out...
his life was pretty fucking good and a lot better than...
what it is now.
His life, as far as I can tell...
is exactly the same as it was when we were together.
I'm not trying to throw you into the ditch here.
I'm just saying you ruined his life. I've ruined lives. It's fine.
Come on!
It's entirely possible that everything Eugene ever told you about me...
Is completely untrue.
Has that ever occurred to you?
What are you talking about. He's the most honest guy in this block.
Well he told me some things about you too.
He told me that your mom bankrolls your entire existence...
and that you travel around the world just looking for girls...
who are desperate enough to fuck you...
in whatever fucking hole you can find.
And that you're still hanging on to the dream of making a living as an artist...
but your paintings are so fucking bad...
that nobody would ever, in a million years...
pay you money for them.
You should pay people to take them off your hands
and destroy them. They are worthless.
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
You can make fun of my mom...
You can make fun of my fucking dick hole.
Careful where you point that thing.
Or my fucking neighbor, my pathetic loser neighbor.
Who I love and cherish.
Whose life you fucking destroyed.
But don't ever make fun of my artwork.
I could fucking kill you right now. I could fucking kill myself right now.
I wish you would.
Fuck you! You know what?
It's OK.
Everybody's art is bad.
Hey!
Yeah I'm good. How are you?
Oh really?
Did you get really drunk again?
Last night? No I hung out with Mickey.
Well of course.
Um...
No I haven't seen him.
Hey I've got to go.
Yeah.
I'll call you back in a couple of hours OK?
Alright.
I love you too.
Bye.
- Hey. - Hi.
I love you too. I love you too.
Who was that?
It was your mom actually.
She called to say she was sorry.
- That's very nice of you. - She likes me after all.
- Yes and I guess you love her. - I love her.
- Too. - Too.
I had a thought.
Yeah?
Shall we do your paperwork?
Let's finally do that.
- Does that sound good? - OK.
4th of July mother fuckers.
What's going on?
- What are you going to do today? - Nothing. Staying in.
Do you want to do something?
- Like go somewhere? - Go to a party of something.
- Yeah. You want to? - Yeah!
Should I call some people?
- Sure. - Cool.
What vibe are you feeling?
I don't know Euge. You pick the vibe.
No.
Hi.
Not this car.
It's nice.
- Hey guys. - Yo!
I don't want to do that.
- You kind of have to. - Yeah Kate you have to.
- Or we can't get going. - Really?
It's just part of it. I can't go unless you do it.
You heard her. It's part of it.
Well come on.
I'm not going to tell anybody.
Can't you just make a fist.
Alright I'll do the bump.
OK. And we're off.
Sure. Normally yes. Come with us.
But I think this is supposed to be kind of like exclusive.
I mean no pressure. Sorry to even bring it up.
Yeah.
Ready to soak in that Palisades money?
It seems kind of dead.
Looks like there's some pretty hot chicks here at the party.
What do you care? You couldn't get with her anyway.
OK we'll see.
Yeah we will see.
Look I'll just pick up the guys who are hot...
and you can pick up the girls who are hot.
And there won't be any tension between us, alright?
So for instance...
That guy over there: Really hot obviously.
Guy next to him, not that hot.
But would probably look really good naked.
Guy by the barbecue, very psychotic looking.
But usually those dudes are the best fucks.
You've got the Wisconsin skin girl.
Oh yeah I'm just visiting from New York.
- I just moved here from there. - Oh really?
Yeah. I felt like I went from zero to sixty.
I'm going to go for a dip OK.
OK.
Now I'm at 100 and about to be at 110 soon.
Where are you - like a 10, 15, 20?
Probably like 200. I'm going to put my bathing suit on.
Let me get a frank.
Oh hi.
- Really nice in there. - Oh my God, Kate. Kate!
Hey.
What's going on?
So...
Yo! Hey guys.
I'm just here for a couple of days.
- Where's Jack? - He's in New York.
- Oh bummer. - Yeah.
- Did you see that? - Yeah.
Eugene.
- Hey what's happening? - Hey Luke.
You guys know each other?
Yes... through Jack.
Who's Jack?
Oh you don't know Jack?
Ah no. I guess I don't know Jack.
Oh he's the best.
Oh that's great.
Really cool.
Weird energy.
Yeah super weird.
So how long are you here?
- Till Sunday. - Cool.
Hey you!
Hey ugly!
Yeah I know you. I've seen you before. I know it.
I don't think so.
You look just like my goddam brother. You know that?
- You know he lives in Florida. - He sounds like a handsome guy.
He's an ugly mother fucker like you.
He's an ugly duck piece of shit like you.
You know what's your name?
What's your name?
Your father sounds like an idiot.
Yeah fuck you. Fuck you.
Don't talk about my fucking father OK.
You don't know shit. Relationships.
That's all that matters in life.
That's all we got.
Without love...
Eugene.
Alright. OK. Thank you.
Thank you for everything.
Piece of shit.
Alright magic 8 ball.
What's going to happen between me and Kate?
Give me a sign. Just like... me and Kate.
I need to know.
I want to know.
It's going to be a really cute rooftop thing later on.
Oh I'm super psyched.
Hey.
Oh hi.
- Have you tried Hydrate yet? - I have.
It's my water cocktail.
It propels weight loss through enzyme activation.
I know.
It's the same girl from the other party.
Oh.
That was one thing. But this party's like...
Super exclusive.
It's not for everyone.
- Bitch I heard you yesterday... - How does she...
before I fill your lungs with pool water.
I like you.
Sit.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
To staying hydrated.
To second impressions.
- Hey. - Hey.
Do you know Eugene?
No no don't introduce me...
Will you just come with me?
- Come on let's go. - No.
- Come on let's go. - No no no no no no.
OK so you just want to sit here with them...
and talk about the water drink...
- and drink the water with them? - Don't do this.
I'm... What am I doing? I'm just saying this is what you're like.
Talk to people who don't even matter...
Who talk about nothing.
And you sit there with a smile because it might mean something later.
If that's what you want... OK drink the water.
Drink it drink it. Have a good time.
Cheers to you.
Who is that drunk?
You know him?
He's a friend of mine.
You're the best thing that's happened to me all day.
I've been waiting a long time.
Whoa! Shut the fuck up.
You shut the fuck up. Open the door.
Wait a second.
Wait a second. Chill!
Fuck you.
Wait!
Yo wait!
Hey!
Where the fuck are you going?
- Wait! - Leave me the fuck alone.
God how can I leave you alone?
Why aren't you in New York?
Why did you ever fucking come here?
What do you want me to do? Marry you? I don't even...
- Yeah yeah. - fucking like you.
I want you to marry me.
- Fuck. - I want you to marry me.
Marry me marry me. Whoa whoa.
Fucking loser. Fuck you!
Hey! Hey you dropped this.
I said you dropped this.
- You have a... - In Russia men carry the purses.
You're going to pay for this.
For screwing up my hair.
Screwing up my life.
Why do you think I've got balls...
after you fucking left me?
Because of you.
I cannot fucking stand you.
I can't fucking...
Bitch. You're so heavy...
I love you.
You don't fucking love me.
You don't even fucking care about me.
You don't. You only fucking like me because I fucking dumped you.
You're right I fucking don't love you.
I don't fucking love you. I love me!
I love me and I want you.
That's the fucking thing I want most in the fucking world.
- No you fucking don't. - I want you.
I hate you.
I hate you too. So fucking much.
CLOTHESER LTD ALL YOURS, LOVE EUGENE.
Are you flying First Class?
I'm flying the plane actually.
You're flying the plane? That's cool.
- I've got a pilot's license. - Right. You're piloting.
- Should I put this in your trunk? - Ah no. Put it in the back actually.
Can you do that?
- Going to open the door? - I know. I'm going to open the door.
You OK?
Yeah I forgot how to drive for a second.
- Well that was a hoot. - And a half.
I'm going to miss you.
I'm coming back really soon.
- Really? - Yes.
Why? More adventures?
With me, your loving friend?
I'm moving here.
What? You're moving here?
- Yeah. - No you're not.
Yes I am.
You're moving here? That's... What? Why? How? What?
Paulston's going to integrate my stuff into his line.
What the fuck does that mean?
It means he's buying the company.
The company?
Our company? The company that we used to have together...
and then I signed over fully 100% to you this morning?
That's the company that he's buying?
He's buying my line...
which is a portion of the company that you signed over to me.
Nice nice. Well you don't have a job any more.
No I don't. I'm unemployed.
How does it feel?
- Free. - Free?
- Yeah baby. - Yeah baby. Free again.
Freebie and the bean.
I'm the bean.
I'm never going to Staples again.
Here let me help you with your stuff.
This was good right?
You should drive back out here with me.
OK. Bye.
Major late. I've got to go.
Alright. Got to go. Get out of here!