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All right, boys.Here we go.
Nice and easy.
Oh, man, Mitch,if you weren't here...
Don't worry, your friend'sgonna be all right.
Are you Batman?
Sure, pal.Just bigger and browner.
All right, boys,get him in. Have a good run, Mitch.
All right, Steph.
- Yeah, Mitch.- Yo, Eros.
How's it looking out there?
Lippers are feebs today.Just eggy.
Ah, eggy beyond, brah.
Nuggin' higher outsidethan a full-on gazebo.
Good call, brah.Come on.
All right, brah-brah!It's just brah.
I told you,you don't have to do this every day.
I want to. You savedmy sister's life.
All right. Well, listen,tomorrow make my pecs a little bigger.
And don't cover upmy front bump.
You got it.Huge dick.
Big dick.
Yo, ellerbee.Hey, Mitch.
Hey, come on, man,why don't you leave my boys alone,
and get off this big wheeland come join me for a run?
What are you saying,that I need to work out?
That I'm, what,looking smaller?
I don't know how youfit in that uniform, man.
If I had a sister,I'd introduce you to her, man.
You all right,all right.
Wait, was that sarcastic?
Like callinga tall guy "shorty"?
Damn it,he always does that to me.
I heard he invented Googleand gave it all to charity.
Man, I heardhe invented the cure for the common cold.
He ain't superman, he'sa damn county lifeguard.
Grown man wearsspandex to work.
So does superman.
Hey, fuck you!Get off my beach!
I don't even have tostretch to guard you. Let's go.
Nothing, nothing,nothing.
Ahh! Not onmy beach, Arian!
What up, vern?What's up, Mitch?
He saved my Nana's life.I ever tell you about that?
Every time he jogs by.
Literally,every single time.
Hi, Mitch.
Flakka. Jesus.
Hey, what's up, buddy?
Hey, Mitch.Hey, can I see that?
Ah...
Where'd you get this?Right there.
Right there, huh?Is this the only one?
All right.
Okay, I get that youhave to test for image stabilization,
but why'd we have tocome to the beach?
Besides, I got to get backto work at the Huntley.
Well, I'm sorry, man,but the beach is important, okay? It's, uh...
It's, you know,the wind and the, uh...
Just...
Oh...I get it.
I get it now,okay. I get it. Who... what, c.J.?
No, I didn't even knowshe was working on the beach today.
"I didn't know c.J.Was working."
Shut up, Dave.Hey, Ronnie.
Ha...
It's Ronnie, right?
What the fuck?Yeah, it's Ronnie.
I'm Dave.Hi, Dave.
Nice to meet you.C.J. How you doing?
I'm doing all right.
You're trying out today,right?
I saw your nameon the board. That's how I...
Say...Say something.
Kinda feel likethis is your year.
Stop that.
Okay. Um...
Well, I'll see youat tryouts.
Eh...All right, c.J.
She came up to you,she was very nice and warm.
And you handled itreally smoothly.
Really?Fuck, no. That was awkward.
Did you have a stroke?It felt like you had a stroke.
Hey, I'm Matt Brody.
And not a single fuckwas given.
Ooh!
Hey, Ronnie.Oh, hey, Steph.
Welcome back.Thanks.
Third time'sa charm, right?
Yeah, yeah,you know, I'm...
Hey.
I'm more motivatedthan ever.
So you're goingto make me guess your name?
I was actually justgoing to ask you the same thing.
Okay. Look, you're hot.
I may resist for a while,but we both know eventually I'll give in.
So why don'twe just skip that.
Why don't you puta baby in me?
Now.You know, honestly...
I was thinkingdinner first.
But we could trythe baby thing, if you want.
You are trying.Way too hard.
Trying's the best part.
Summer.Hi.
I couldn't sleeplast night. I am so excited.
Hey, it's your daytoday, summer.
Oh, thank you.You're welcome.
Hey, fresh face.You here for the qualifiers?
Uh, no, no,I'm not trying out.
I'm actuallyalready on the team.
You're alreadyon this team?
I'm Matt Brody.Ready for duty.
"Ready for duty"?Oh, okay.
Um, you got any papersor anything like that?
I do. There you go.
Oh, it's a permission slip.Literally. "Dear Mitch,
"i am pleasedto write you on behalf of Mr. Matt Brody."
Right. Well,no free passes. Yeah. Whoa.
At all. Yeah, 'causei don't give a shit.
I legit needed thosefor my taxes.
What you need is tounderstand that if you're going to be on this team,
Yeah. So, why don'twe start this whole thing over,
just like gentlemen?
Where you from,one direction?
Um... Iowa?
Iowa?You heard of it?
Yeah,i know what it is.
New kids on the blockhere is from Iowa.
And, uh, he sayshe's already on the team.
Yeah.Doesn't have to try out.
Really?Yeah, absolutely.
Let me ask you this...A lot of oceans in Iowa?
No, just ponds and lakesand cocky pretty boys, apparently.
Uh-huh.Cocky pretty boys.
Hey, Mitch,what happened to that
last pretty boy recruitwe had?
He died.R.I.P.
Are you guys beingserious right now?
I honestly can't tell.
You show up here,matching bathing suits.
What is this,"lifeguard hazing"?
I'm Matt Brody.
I hold the world recordin the 200 meter.
Two gold medals.
Hey! Matt Brody.Matt Brody.
Yes, yes.
Absolutely.And we still
don't give a fuck.Don't give a fuck.
No, fresh out.Fresh out of fucks. Yeah.
Okay, that ocean outthere has riptides
that'll tear yourlittle mangina in two.
My mangina?
So you are being serious.
Dead serious,right now, nsync, all right?
This ain't no littlefucking pond out of Iowa.
you want to be hereon this team, on our team,
you're gonnahave to earn it.
Look, I get it.
You're big, sasquatch.
But I'm fast.
Really fucking fast.
Which iswhy somebody important thinks I belong here.
So when you two figure outwho the fuck I am,
you can find meon the beach.
See you.
Did that reallyjust happen?
It did.He slapped me. Wow.
Yeah. His hands weresoft and supple though,
like a woman.No offense. None taken.
You know what, man?I gotta tell you,
I'm feeling really goodabout this year.
You knowwhat I'm saying?
Good luck out there, man.Good luck.
And if you needsome extra motivation...
Looking at itright there. Hey...
You okay?Help! C.J., help!
My friendis choking! Help!
No, not c.J.Not c.J. No, no!
Are you okay?You're choking.
Oh, god.
Are you okay?
Ronnie.You're gonna be just fine.
What?
Ah! Thank you!
Ronnie, are you okay?Oh, yeah.
Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah.No, don't touch, don't touch.
Okay.
I'm so good.You did good, good, good work.
Good job.Thank you, you can go now.
Okay, um,drink some water...
Thank you so much.Okay. ...I guess.
Dave?Yeah.
How does it look?How does what look?
Down there.
Does not look good at all.
Looks like your dickis trapped between two slats of wood.
Okay, I just...Fuck, I can't reach it.
I just need you to get downthere and just pop it out.
No, I can't do that at all.
Come on, I just need you...You grab that dick
and you push it out.No, no.
Okay. Hi.
We're going todeflate the situation together. Okay?
Okay.Focus.
Think about thingsthat turn you off.
Maybe like, um...Like your grandma's underwear?
Mmm-mmm. Not working.No? Okay, cool.
Maybe, like...Ostriches.
Guys, still stuck.Mitch, hey, need you.
No, no, not Mitch.Don't bring Mitch over.
Hey.Hey, Mitch is here.
Ronnie, you pumped aboutthe qualifiers, buddy?
You know it, man.I'm just, um... I'm really...
Really excited to quitmy double major in robotics
and computer scienceand really, really do something with my life.
You don't needto look down there.
Do not touch meright now.
Not even touching you.Okay.
Wow. Okay.
Looks like you gotyour beef and your biscuits
stuck down there.
It's gonna be okay.I've been through it, too.
Not a big deal.Really?
Yeah, absolutely.I was stuck in a woman for hours once.
Couldn't get out.
Totally the same, yeah?It's the same thing.
Stuck junkis stuck junk. Okay.
All right, buddy,we're gonna have to, uh, flash-freeze your Johnson.
No, no, it's okay,it's okay, I got it.
Look, it's okay.
- Oh, my god.- Nope. Still stuck.
I mean, if you thinkabout it, it's a good thing, right?
Congratulations.
Hey, uh, howyou feeling, sport?
Better,but could we get
some sort of perimetergoing for the crowd?
Nah. Nobody's looking.Just us.
God, you're lying.That's a lot of people.
Mitch, I can't getthe swelling to go down.
All right.
We're going to haveto pull it out.
- Pull it?- Yeah.
Just like pullinga tooth. What?
Don't you touchmy dick!
I'm okay.
Ronnie,are you okay?
Yeah, no, I'm good.I'm good.
I'm proud of you,Ronnie.
Fuck you, Dave.You're my worst friend.
Captain, uh, I need totalk to you about this...
Yeah, Mitch. Look,you're just in time.
I want you towatch something.
Check this out.
Matt Brody, U.S. swimmer, sex symbol and adrenaline junkie.
How do I define myself?
80% trill and 30% dope.
People think I'm crazy, that I'm out of control.
How do you think I got all this gold?
may have worked for his individual events,
but when it came to the relay,Brody blew it for the team.
Usa is in the lead for the team relay
and Brody's in the water to anchor.
Oh, my god!
Looks like he just vomited in the pool.
After a night of partying in rio
led to a streak of bad luck in the pool,
Brody was dubbed the "vomit comet."
How do you feel about losing a medal for your teammates?
There's no "i" in "team."
But there is a "me."
Are you dyslexic?
I'm Caucasian.
This is the guy you thinkis a good PR opportunity for us?
Wow. Right?
He's reckless,he's insubordinate. Come on.
Which is whywe can afford him.
Come on, Mitch.
The guy's only herebecause he took a plea deal.
A plea deal?
For what?
The specificsaren't important.
What's important is thatwe are his community service.
Come on. He's a train wreck.
With two gold medals.
How many gold medalsdo you have?
Probably zero. Okay?
Brody is an American hero withthe face of a Swedish model.
There's more to this jobthan just swimming.
You know that.Yeah, there's also politics.
Now, look, Mitch,let's be honest.
We're staring intothe abyss here.
City council's alreadycut our funding again.
What the council wantsand what the bay needs
are two different things.
I found more flakkathis morning.
Clearly, we havenew dealers in the bay.
And this shit is likebath salts on meth.
Wow, flakka?
Good work, Mitch.
I'll turn this overto the police.
Hey, look.This new guy of yours?
He's not ready forthis kind of trouble.
He doesn't need to be,and neither do you. Okay?
It's not your job.
It's the busiest timeof the year.
I need you out thereshining for me.
All right, I'll do it.Yes!
But he's got to passqualifiers first.
You got it.Which should be easy
considering he's the"best swimmer in the world."
Right?
Good afternoon,councilman.
Good afternoon.So, how is our progress?
Most of the council hassigned off on your terms.
Good.
And the rest arealmost there.
"Almost"?
Ugh. Councilman,
you seem like the kind ofman who knows how to seize an opportunity.
Me, too.
Back home,my younger brother was given the family business to run
when clearlyi had the business gene.
Why? Because I'm a woman.
So I came to America,
the land of opportunity,because everything is fair here.
But who's to say anymore?
I have a point to prove,councilman.
And I'm here to createan opportunity for you.
I'm surethey'll come around.
I'm sure they will, too.
Why does she alwayslook like she's running in slo-mo?
You see it, too?
She always looks wet.But not too wet.
Right.
She's the reasoni believe in god.
Hey, how's your dick?
Oh, uh, it's good,you know...
It's better,you know...
It's just readyfor action.
Okay.Okay.
Okay.
I got my dick stuckin a chair earlier.
What? You did?Yeah.
You haven't heardabout this?
Yeah, I heard.Everybody's heard.
You know, baywatch proudly accepts only one new recruit every year.
But the good news for you
is that this year, we've got three open spots.
Now without further ado,I'd like to turn it over to the man
who has 500 career saves.
Give it up for lieutenant Mitch buchannon.
All right, thank you. Thank you.
Baywatch is the elite of the elite.
Our team's commitment to protecting the bay at all costs
is the reason why the single mom behind me
feels very comfortable letting her two kids run
right into the water unaccompanied.
Thanks, Mitch. That's right.
And baywatch works because we follow rules.
We follow rules because if we don't, people die.
and you doze off at your deskone day, no big deal.
You slack off here...Say it with me...
People die.
So here's the thing, if you've come to baywatch
on your little motorcycle, thinking you're cool,
trying to work on your killer tan...
Well, you need to find another beach to go to.
But if you've come to sacrifice
for something much bigger than yourself,
this is the beach for you.
But you're gonna have toget through this first. C.J.?
Yeah! C.J.!
There are tons of qualities that make a great lifeguard.
Today, we're gonna test all of them
in a grueling obstacle course we like to call
"the absentee father."
He's tough. Brutal, even.
His presence in your life is brief, but it will scar you
and instill a toughness in you that will carry you through birthdays,
christmases and even "bring your dad to school day"
when your mom has to put on a fake moustache
just so you can fit in with the other kids.
All right.
Thank you, c.J.
Thank you.
So get out there, kick ass and make us proud.
Go, baywatch.
On your mark.
Get set!
This is baywatch, people!
- Kick those legs!- Let's go!
Listen to what she's saying.
Keep it going! Keep it going!
You are guppies!
- Pick it up, folks.- Move those legs!
Who's your daddy now?
Come on, guys!
Come on, guys!Let's go!
Hustle, hustle, hustle!
Let's go!You got this! Come on!
Let's go!Let's go! Let's go!
Up and over!
Let's go, come on!Way to hustle! Come on, you're almost there!
Kid's really gotno quit in him.
Attaboy, Ronnie!Great job!
Great!
You know,you wanna be on our team,
you're gonna haveto pass this course.
We all do.Look. Mitch, right?
Lieutenant to you."Lieutenant"?
Like in the army?
Let me save yousome time. Okay?
You're not gonna bemy big brother here and put me on the right path.
It doesn't worklike that.
I got where I am todaycompletely by myself.
So how about youlet me do my job,
and I'll tell youwhere to send my checks?
You know,sharks always swim slowly.
Until they need to attack.
Thank you forthat cryptic
and totally irrelevantpiece of information.
What are you,aquaman?
'Cause I'm really confusedwith what we've been talking about.
You afraid I'm gonna kickyour little mermaid ass
all over this coursein front of all these people?
I mean,now you're gonna have to beat me
on the big boy's course,Princess.
Whoo!
Well, that was cute.
Probably in record time.Yeah?
The problem is,that's not the course.
That's not the course?
We're gonna go overto the real course,
and if you beat meover there,
not only are youon the team,
but I won't fuckwith you anymore
and I'll call youby your real name.
Oh, really?
Yeah!
Refrigerators?
...98, 99, 100!
Ahhh!
Whoo!
That wasbullshit, Mitch.
Because you were showboating.You want to be a lifeguard,
you gotta learn toconserve your energy.
Conserve my energy?
No!
Help! My kids!
Lifeguard tower one!
Help!
Look out! Look out!
We're on the go!
Come on, move!
Yo, move!
Watch it!Move, move, move!
Hey, look out!
Lady, get out of the way!
My kids!Ma'am, everything's okay.
I'm here to save you.My name is Matt Brody.
Somebody help!Ma'am, stop it!
I can't save you ifyou're being a dick!
- Where are the other two?- "Other two"?
Oh, shit.
Here you go. Here you go.Okay.
Take him.
You're okay.
Come on.
Breathe for me.Come on, big man.
Come on.
We'll set you downright here.
Good. Let's get youover. Attaboy.
Brody, stop!One, two, three...
Brody, stop!What? Why?
Her airway's blocked.
Okay, breathe.C.J., she good?
Steph, how is she?She's all right.
You're gonna be good.
Give me some.
Let's get youto your mom.
We want to thank you fora great year of qualifiers.
For those of you who don'tgo on and become trainees,
we wanna thank you,we expect to see you next year.
To the traineeswho made it, congratulations.
Oh, my god.I made it.
I made it!Oh, my god.
Thank you so much.
You don't everhave to thank me.
You did this oneon your own.
Thank you.You're welcome.
What the fuck?That's my name.
That's my name!
Holy shit!
Wait. Do not tell methat I'm the tech guy.
No!
No, I chose youbecause you have heart,
no quit and you leave itall out on the beach.
- Thanks, Mitch.- Congratulations.
Hey,high school musical.
You were reckless out there.
Completely destroyeda motorcycle, which you stole.
I didn't steal that.
I commandeered it, okay?
Because it was fasterand clearly had insurance.
the lady that I saved,she didn't seem to mind.
Let me tell yousomething, man,
the rescues don't meana thing
if you put other peoplein danger. Okay?
Now, I get it,you're fast, you're fearless.
And I have to make youa trainee, butterfly,
but you gota lot to learn.
All right.Thank you, lieutenant.
All right,listen up!
Training begins at 0600.
Hot wheels,I'll see you back here in the morning.
Sure thing, lieutenant.
Welcome to baywatch.
Hey,I'm so glad i caught you all.
I don't meanto interrupt,
but everyone on the beachis talking about you guys.
Thank you.
Brody, that savesounds incredible.
Impulsive,but incredible.
Appreciate it.See that?
Ah, we're just doingour jobs.
Oh.
Hey, guys, this isVictoria Leeds,
the new owner ofthe Huntley club.
Well, I just wantedto invite all of you
to the Huntley.We're having an open house.
It's a kind of a "meetthe neighbors" thing.
Look, I know thatthe club's kind of "fancy"
and probably notyour scene,
but you havea standing invitation.
Thank you.We'll keep that in mind. I'll meet you guys over there.
Please, join us,okay?
Whoa!
Easy.Oh.
You okay?Yeah.
I'll see you there?See you then.
Let's go, Frankie.
Brody?
Hey.What are you doing?
Nothing.I was just, uh...
You know, stargazing.
Under a pier?
Yeah. That way.
and, um, I don't wantanyone on the team sleeping outside, so...
Yeah, come on.You're coming with me. Let's go.
Brody, let's go,i don't want to wait for you. Come on.
Thank youagain, so much.
Yeah, no,it's totally cool. Don't worry about it.
Oh, I forgot somethingin my car.
You sure Stephaniewon't mind? It's cool?
It's cool.She won't mind at all.
Thank you so much.
This is reallycool of you guys.
Mmm-hmm.No problem.
What the fuck?
'Sup.Hey.
This is your house,isn't it?
Yeah, this is, um...It's my house.
Yeah.
I assume you needa place to crash.
Yeah.Come on in.
Just like c.J.,always picking up strays.
Quit lookingat little Mitch! It's creepy.
Come and see whereyou're gonna crash.
There's your cot.
Don't Jack offon my sheets.
Don't.
I can't find my hermit crab.
I think he ran out earlier today.
He's got short legs, but he's got a fast walk, so,
if you'd keep eyes open, I'd appreciate that.
I will start combing the beach first thing at sunup.
This is echo bravo 153. Go ahead.
Fuck it. Mitch, can I pleaseturn the c.B. Off in my room?
Jonas brother, listen to me.
Get your beauty rest.
We're starting brightand early tomorrow.
How wasyour first riptide?
It stings!
That's justthe lactic acid.
Actually, it'sthe jellyfish stuck to you.
What the fuck?
Oh, my god!
One, two, three.Cross.
One, two, three.
Keep your hands up.One, two, duck! Again.
One, two, duck!
Nice!
What you, uh...What you doing there, killer?
Um, I don't know.
I don't know.Okay.
Honestly,i don't even know what I'm doing here.
Mitch seessomething in you.
And I see it,too. I do.
I really do.
What?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Very important lesson.
That isthe devil's urchin.
One prick out ofthat thing
will give youenough adrenaline
to choke outa pissed-off bull.
The only problem is,after that,
you say some crazy-ass shit,and then you fucking die.
Now pick that upand take it to tower one.
So these are just likelaying around everywhere?
Okay, look,let's just be honest, all right?
I mean,we've lost him.
No, it's notyour fault. No, Ted.
Not my boy Ted.
Why, why, Ted?Why you, Ted?
Why?
Don't you dothis to me, Ted! Don't you do this!
because you aregonna kill someone with that technique.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.All right. Okay. Ready?
Wait, summer,do you have time to study later?
Yeah. Um...
Did you just, uh,look at my boobs?
I... was notmy intention.
I didn't, uh, staredirectly at them.
You're lookingat them right now.
Now I did.
'Cause you'retalking about them.
Testing. Failed.
Oh, my god.Well, we're gonna be
in swimsuitsa lot, so... Yeah.
If it's gonna bea problem for you...
There's nota problem for me.
At all. Cool.Yeah.
All right. You justlooked at them again.
No, I didn't.I was... I didn't... Yeah, you did.
Well, when youpoint them out like that...
It's a complimentif you think about it, sort of.
Victoria.
Do I strike you asa patient woman, councilman?
No, no, I got the councilto sign off on your real estate proposal.
Just some property ownerswon't give approval.
But I'm working on it.
Yeah, well,you just ran out of time.
Leon, would you showMr. Rodriguez
what we do to peoplewho don't deliver?
which is gonnadrive down real estate prices in the bay,
right? Right?
So if anything happensto me, I will expose you.
And then you'll never getyour approvals.
Such accusations.
I'm not a bond villain.
Well, yet.
You're in politics.
without gettinga little dirt under their fingernails.
Clearly,i overestimated you.
But calling mea drug dealer...
It's so much biggerthan that, you know?
I...Leon...
Teach himsome manners.
Have fun, boys.
I agree with...
I overstepped.
I overstepped,Victoria.
Guys, we can talkabout this.
Leon doesn't talk.He's a man of action.
There's a purityto that. I'm going to kill you.
Damn it.You do that every time.
I build you up,and then you ruin the mystique.
See something you like?Jesus Christ.
You, uh...You got me.
You're gonna be cooland go talk to her like a real man,
or you gonna stand up hereand be creepy creeperton
Look, man, I'm finein that department,
so don't worry about me.Yeah.
I'm sure your approachto women is snapchatting a dick pic or two.
Don't ever do that.
A lot of peoplescreenshot them nowadays.
Yeah. If it leakson the Internet, it's terrible.
This is baywatch. What isyour emergency? Over.
Gringa, my position is the ocean.
Okay, call coast guard.We got a 10-73.
I'm gonna takethe waverunner. "10-73"?
You and c.J.Take rescue one.
- Go, go, go!- Rescue one, asap.
Hold up! Wait, what, what?What are we doing?
Shit.
Summer?What's a 10-73? Fire!
"Fire"? What does that mean?In the ocean?
You need tostart studying!
Yeah, I know.Got it. I'm there.
See you out there.
Come on.Let's go. I'm coming!
If you're comin',hurry up. Where's mine?
You don't get one.
Whoa!
Come on.Quit screwing around!
Could you wait for me?Come on.
God damn it, let's go.
Go, go, go!
Lock your arms aroundmy waist or you're gonna fucking fall off again!
This isso awkward, dude. Hold on. Hold on.
How many buckets oflotion do you wear a day?
You're like a greasy,hairless gorilla.
Don't worry, guys!I got it.
I'll take care of...If the fire spreads...
All right, I need youto take the throttle.
Go between my armsand take the fucking throttle!
Holy shit.
When I say so,hard right turn.
What?Three.
Two. One. Go!Oh, shit, man. I don't know.
Oh, thank god.
Are youthe fire water man?
I don't know.Okay. You stay right here.
Don't move. Okay?Okay.
Help!
Down here!
Is anyone there?
I hear you!
Get to the front ofthe boat! We're coming!
Help!
Help me!
Mitch!
Portside.
Over here!
In the front!Fuck.
There's a girl trappedin the front of the boat!
There's too much fire!
No way.
C.J.!
Okay, guapo.
If you want me,you can have me.
But rapido becausethe boat is on fire.
Some other time.No...
Are you all right?Can you hear me?
No, I'm not okay!
Help! Please!
Help! In here!
Do not go underthat fire, Brody!
Wait!
In here!
Please! Help!
Oh, my god!Take my hand.
Trust me.
Are you hurt?No. I'm okay.
Good. Hang on.What?
C.J.!
Portside!
Miss, are you okay?
Can you help me?
Are you all right?Are you hurt?
Brody!
Oh.
Are you okay?
That was sucha great plan,
just to see fire andjust swim right into it.
You care about me.
I care about you.Ugh.
Get off that boat, Mitch.
...eight, nine, ten.
Come on.
Hey, other than him,we did good, right?
Like,we saved everyone.
Yes, including you.
I know that.
I'm just saying,all things considered,
things could've gonea lot worse.
Come on!
Is he going to be okay?
Do you know what happenedto the councilman?
No, I don't know.
and then whenwe came upstairs, the boat was already on fire.
You disobeyedan order out there, put yourself in danger.
You can't save anyoneif you die.
Yeah, I know.I messed up. Okay?
I'm just... what arewe still doing here?
Just write this down.Can we just go?
Victim is male,five foot nine...
Hey, hey, hey.Get back right now. Do not contaminate
my crime scene.
Don't give me any ofthat jurisdiction shit.
Uh, no, I won't,because technically,
you don't havea jurisdiction, lifeguard.
You got one job, makesure swim-happy white people don't drown.
Technically, that boat outthere is the coast guard's jurisdiction. Okay?
And if I would'vewaited for them, all these girls would be dead.
What?We would have died?
Burned to a crisp.I'm not ready to die!
I know.It's okay, you're not.
So technically,we saved lives.
Technically,i see a dead body,
which technically makesthis a crime scene.
Hey, technically, these"technically's" are wasting a lot of time, technically.
Thank you,blue-eyed demon.
And as far as thisdead body goes, look.
Badge on a uniform.
Patch on a swimsuit.
Lieutenant. Beat cop.
So keep us informed
of the investigationand we're gonna do the same.
All right. Hey, how doi keep in touch?
or do I justblow into the conch and you appear?
Just call meon the shell phone. That's all you gotta do.
I'll tell you this,if you crack this case,
they're gonna upgradeyou to a Segway
and they're gonna give youbig-boy pants to wear,
cover upthose chicken legs.
Oh, Christ, that's...Councilman Rodriguez.
Good luck, officer.
Damn, Ronnie.C.J.!
Please!
Oh, shit.
I never really hearda guy sing that song,
but you're really good.
Thank you.
Uh, c.J., what areyou doing here?
Here? Oh, um,it's a coed shower.
Coed, cool.
Yeah, coed is coolwith me, 'cause I'm cool with the coeds.
I'm taking lunch orders.Do you want anything?
I would like a salad.
You sure?
This place has reallygood cheesesteaks,
meatball subs,foot-longs.
They really hit the spot.No, I'll have a salad.
I'm just a straight-upleafy green type of guy.
That's my type of jam.
Just hook me upwith a salad.
Okay. Salad.
Cool. All right.Great.
By the way, uh,when we shower in here, we, uh, keep our suits on.
Right, Phil, Sarah?
But your, uh, clean nipsare looking really good.
Ah!
Thanks.Bye.
Oh, god.
Why me?
How wasyour day today?
Uh, I don't know.A guy died.
Maybe this is whywe keep losing recruits.
- They can't handle it.- Yeah.
is much morethan you expected, right, the stakes are higher.
What happened today,while very tragic, unfortunately, it does happen.
So if you want to quit,hey, we totally get it.
But if you don't andyou choose to stay,
just know that baywatchis more than a job.
It's a way of life.
"A way of life."
You and I both knowI'm sticking around.
Am I the only onethat got a salad?
Look, this is whati don't understand, okay?
A guy dies.That's tragic.
But that doesn't meanthat there's anything sinister going on.
Okay? And even ifthere was,
that's not our job.That's not what we do.
We're lifeguards.So, this, technically, has nothing to do with us.
You just heard that cop.He just told us that.
I just thought youhad to be on a really restrictive diet
to look like you guys.
Brody, what is itthat you think we do here at baywatch?
I thought thatwe prevent people from getting sunburned
and, yeah, occasionallystop them from drowning.
And that's all youthink that this is?
It's exactly whati thought it was.
C.J., how aboutyou throw a few
of last month'scases at olympiad here and see what he'd do.
"Cases"?Okay, um...
School of manta rayin the cove?
You call animal control?
Before animal controlshows up,
the school of manta rayfly up out of the water,
sting someone inthe chest and they die.
How about, uh, sand griftersrunning a con on the beach, right?
Well, I'm not exactly surewhat a sand grifter is, Stephanie.
But I would probablycall the cops.
Sand grifters are,uh, beach thieves.
Okay, so while you'reworking on your tan,
they're stealing thingsfrom families on the beach.
How about diamond smugglerswho are putting the rocks in surfboards
sounds like a really,like, entertaining, but far-fetched TV show.
But if that was the case,i would definitely call the cops.
We could call the cops,and then do nothing,
like most people would.But that's not us,
it's nothow we operate.
We watch when other peopledon't want to watch.
We protect when other peopledon't want to protect.
If we do the bare minimum,sometimes people die.
Guys, we have flakkathat just washed ashore.
That shit is hardcoreand it fucking kills people.
And now we gota dead body in our bay.
And the girls on that boathad the same drugs on them
that I foundin front of Leeds's club.
So my gut says thatit's all connected.
Wait, Leeds did saythere'd be an open house tonight, right?
Yes, she did.
And we're all going.
What'd you findon chen?
No criminal record.No fetishes.
No weird photos.He's clean.
Makes me feel weirdabout the stuff I have going on in my life.
What abouthis bank accounts?
Account.
This dude isnot rich at all.
All his money is tied upin real estate in the bay.
Well, I guess you'll haveto help me persuade him
some other way.
Every man has a price.
Speaking of which,
I know you've been usingmy special set of skills
for your ownnefarious purposes,
but additional compensation
would go a long wayin motivating me to keep my mouth shut.
You're blackmailing me.
Huh? Well, I wouldn't...Dave...
I really admire a manwho knows how to seize an opportunity.
I'm very impressed.
Keep up the good work.Thanks.
Do we have a deal, or...
I need some closure.
Hey.Hi.
Hey, you lookreally nice, too, baby gap.
That shirt comein big-boy size?
Well, at leastI'm undercover.
Look at you.You didn't even try.
All right, guys,we got a very big night, with one goal in mind.
It's our only shot to provethat they're dealing here,
so we gotta make it right.
So, c.J. And Ronnie,find out who's selling.
Summer, keep an eye onLeeds and her thugs.
Then Mitch and I will searchthe place for where she hides the product.
Brody?What?
You're our lookout.Lookout?
Guys, if you want tofind drugs at a party,
I can walk in thereand find drugs.
It'd take me, like,five minutes.
Not 'cause I do itall the time.
I'm just sayingit's not rocket science.
Okay, troubled youth.Thank you for that.
The only waythis whole thing is gonna work out
is if everyone,everyone, does their job.
Can you handle that,Malibu Ken? Yeah.
What?
Hey, am I the only onethat thinks this is clearly a job for the police?
Yes.Yes.
Fuck it.
Mr. chen, I'm so gladyou could make it.
I wanted to meetthe new neighbor everyone is talking about.
So I presume you knowwhy I had to invite you.
I am not interested inselling my properties.
Why don't you thinkabout it, okay?
I of all people knowhow hard it is to run a business.
You never know whena dry spell could come.
I think we case itand I'll meet you back here in five.
All right.Sounds good. All right, Steph.
So where should I,like, look out from?
Hey. How are you?
Victoria.
You killed Rodriguezin front of witnesses.
What the fuckwere you thinking?
They were high.They didn't see anything.
They better not have.
Because now Daveknows too much.
And this betternot come back to me.
I can't havethis unraveling.
Got it?
Now go clean upyour mess.
Brody.Mmm.
I'm so glad you came.
Oh, gosh.
Let's get you a real drink.Greg, the good stuff.
Scotch isyour drink, right? Yeah.
This is a really nice placeyou have here.
You have great taste.
I really respect that.
It's nice to have somebodywho respects you, you know?
Oh...
I sense trouble.
I think I'm just, uh,
not used to having a boss.
Mitch is threatened.
He should be thrilledto have you.
Yeah, you'd think.
Oh, my god.
"Lieutenant Matt Brody."
That has suchan amazing ring to it. Don't you think?
Yeah.
Here. Keepthe whole bottle.
I think you need it.
This'll be fun.Thank you.
Hey.
Did you getany intel on Leeds?
Yeah, I got intel.That's awesome.
Single malt35-year-old intel.
And it's fuckingdelicious.
All right, I thinki got something.
Found our access point.
Where is Brody?Have you seen him?
No. No time.
We gotta movewithout him.
Yeah, but we needour lookout.
What's your deal?You like torturing guys?
No.Yeah, you do.
Well, I mean,i have three brothers, so I've had a lot of practice.
Mmm.
I take ityou're an only child.
I don't know, honestly.
I grew up ina foster home. Oh, shit.
Three of them,actually. I'm sorry.
It was pretty cool.One of them had a pool.
If it wasn't forthat pool,
I probably wouldn't havegone to the Olympics.
Yeah. I mean,that's amazing.
Go from foster hometo winning a gold medal.
Two.Two gold medals.
And I fucking busted my assfor those gold medals,
so you can't blame mefor celebrating.
Yeah. Huh.
I mean, I've alwayswondered what happened that night.
I knew the relaywas the next day, but those guys...
They didn't care about me.They just needed me to win.
Well, you certainly madesure they did not win.
I lost waymore than they did.
Okay? I lostall my sponsors.
I'm an olympic championand I'm fucking broke.
Ronnie, hey.What?
Okay, listen. I need youto create a distraction for Leeds.
Rememberthe first time i met you?
The night at chen's?
Oh, yeah.
What? No.
Yes.No!
Yes!Mitch, no!
Yes. Yes!No!
No!God damn it, Ronnie.
Every team has a ringer,and you and only you are my ringer.
Well, then I guessI'm your ringer.
You are my goddamn ringer.
Ring, ring?Ring, ring.
Yeah. Oh, god.
Oh, could I...
You should probablyactually stop drinking
because you're supposed tobe the lookout for Mitch.
I am looking out for Mitch.
Leeds is right there.I'm gonna go check it out.
A warm welcome to our host, Victoria Leeds!
Thank you. Thank you.
So many people.
So as a welcome to the bay, I, uh...
Oh, god. Mitch, this is for you.
Oh, wait. Uh, no, Victoria.
I have something very special planned for you, for everyone.
So god help us.
Aw.
I'll just putthat down. Okay.
Hit it.
That's weird.
Who's Angelo'sfish company?
Doesn't the Huntley gettheir fish from Flynn's?
Let's check it out.
Wait, wait, wait,wait, wait.
Mitch.
I just gota little hunch, okay?
Shit.
You two, what are youdoing back here?
Hey.
First date.You can't blame me, right?
So juvenile.
I'm onto you all.
put your hands togetherfor whatever that was.
You did good, Ronnie.
Where'd you learnto dance like that?
Hebrew school.
You were supposed to bethere for us tonight.
You had a job to do.
And now you're trashed.
See, I just... I don'tunderstand this, man.
If you really think thatthere's drugs here,
call the police.
And then what?
We get a few minnows?The big whale gets away?
Do you hear yourselfwhen you talk?
I dare you to say one thingwithout the ocean in it.
I dare you.
We were dependingon you tonight.
And you fucked up... again.
Watch yourself.
Really?
Get this throughyour head, Mitch.
You're not a cop.You're not the fucking equalizer.
You're a lifeguard,Mitch,
who sits inhis fucking tower all day,
'cause that's the only placehe has any sort of power.
This isthe real world, Mitch.
Lifeguards can't do shit.
Come on.
Don't fucking touch me.
Let's go.Or what?
What're yougonna do, Mitch?
Shit.
Shit.I didn't touch you.
You dick.
Cool off, pool boy.
That's him!The vomit comet!
What are you guysstanding around for?
Let's do some shots!
Whoo!
Hey.Hey. Thank you.
Summer, this isyour day today.
Yeah, I know it.
Mitch?
I think we both saida few things last night that we didn't mean.
Not me.I meant every word.
You've never gotten drunkand said something you don't mean?
Seriously?
I fucked up, man.I know that.
I'm sorry.
I watched you wintwo gold medals.
You were amazingwhen it was just you.
being part of your team,your olympic team, your family,
you blew it.'Cause you're selfish.
Baywatch is our team.Baywatch is our family.
These are the keysto our house.
that you don't want to bepart of this family.
So you're done.
'Cause the only thingyou give a shit about
is yourselfand your medals.
You talking 'boutthis medal?
Wow, that's reallyimpressive.
Don't you havetwo of them, though?
That's not the point.
Listen, Mitch, I knowi messed up, okay?
I should have listened.
I want to bea part of this team.
And I will notlet you down again, i swear.
And by the way,i think you're right about Leeds.
And the councilman...Councilman... What's his face?
Councilman Rodriguez.Uh... yeah.
Rodriguez,that's it. The dead guy.
He had this watch.It was a nice tag watch.
Yeah, I've seenthat watch, too.
On one of Leeds's thugs.
That's it. See?
I want to help, man.And I want to...
I want to help.
All right.I'll give you another shot.
Councilman Rodriguezis connected to all of this somehow.
And the coroner's officejust released his body.
And I got a plan.
Okay, clear.Come on, let's go.
Okay,left turn, left turn.
Who taught you how to drive,Stevie fucking wonder?
You're huge, man.Very hard to control.
Just get me to the morgue.That's all I said.
I'm taking usto the morgue. Go left.
Left, left. Left turn.
Careful.
Okay.We're clear, we're clear.
Oh!
All right.
- Oh, no.- What?
What does that say?"Morgue."
Exactly.
I got us to the morgue.
Nice.Good job. Yeah.
These disguisesare awesome.
I actually feellike a doctor.
Oh, no.
Read me his toe tag.It smells like yogurt.
Oh, Jesus.
"2816."
Read me line 12.
Jesus.
Line 12."Alveoli are clean."
Wait, that means thatthere was no smoke in his lungs.
- So how did he die?- That's the question.
Mcdreamy, get over here.I need you to help me.
Oh, god, what?
Dude.
I need youto check his taint for needle marks.
You want me to checkhis taint?
Don't be a baby.Lift his scrotum.
Lift his ball sacand check for anything unusual.
There's... fuck.
Oh, my god.
Dude, it's a taint,man, it's a taint. You didn't even look.
Ugh, my god.
Dude, there's beengloves here literally the entire time.
You didn'teven say anything. Yeah... that...
Oh, I'm going in.
All right.Tell me what you see.
Hair. Lots of hair.Definitely not a groomer.
Get deeper.Lift the balls up higher.
And get closer.Oh, god, it stinks.
I don't know, man.There's a big something.
There's something.Oh, there is a hole.
That's just his butthole.Smile.
Good job, doc.I'm posting that.
Do not post that.The Internet is forever.
It's just a handfulof ball sac.
It's disgusting.
Dude,i can't take you seriously when the dick is out.
Can you please justcover the dick?
You cover the dick.I'm busy.
Cervical fracturesof the fifth, sixth and seventh vertebrae.
That's howhe was killed. Broken neck.
I mean, you jumped offthe boat with him, right?
You can literally swan divedown a flight of stairs
and not break thatmany vertebrae.
This was done on purpose.
Why has no one elsefigured this out?
What are you talking about?Figured what out?
Broken neck inmultiple places.
No smoke in his lungs,which probably means he died
before that boatwas even on fire.
The reason whyno one has figured this out?
And someone'scovering it up. Holy shit.
In which case,
No, those girls were too high.They don't remember anything.
All the more reasonto investigate.
Oh, shit.Someone's coming.
Hide. Hide!Put him away.
What do we do now?Now we hide.
Hide? Where?
I don't likeconfined spaces.
This was a bad idea.
Stop being a baby.
Shut your mouth.You're gonna get us caught.
I'm laying ona dead old lady.
Well,she's not going to bite you, for Christ's sakes.
Will you shut up?Our drawers are empty.
I'm the only one witha body in my drawer?
She smells likecheese toast and chowder.
Holy Christ.You just tickled another man's taint.
Who gives a shit right now?
This was a bad...
Something justdripped on me.
Shut your mouth.
What is it?It's all right.
Oh, my god.
It did it again.Nothing's dripping on me.
Listen to me.Formaldehyde melts fat. What?
That's what'sdripping on your face, necrotic liquid fat.
Now will youshut the fuck up?
What the fuckdid you just say?
Just sit back and shut up.
Shh. Stop complaining.
Guys, someone's coming.Be quiet.
It's him.
Rodriguez.It is him.
You got the fake files?
We're only here'cause you broke his fucking neck.
It's all good.
God damn it.Keep it together. No!
Oh, shit.That's it! I'm out!
No. God damn it!
Shit!Fuck.
What do we do?
Hey, gentlemen.
Now that that's over,I'm gonna need those files.
That must be my phone.I probably left it in the, uh, nap room.
Shit.Fuck. Give me that phone.
Shit!
No, lifeguard.
That wasa cheap shot, man!
Damn it.
That guy'sgot my phone.
All right, meet uson the far side of the park!
Give me the phone.
Mister, get off!
Hey, Mitch,take this one.
Yeah. Thanks, Mikey.
Hey, man,this is a wake-free zone!
Hey! Oh!
Hi, honey.
I'm going to go getrid of the bad man that's in your house.
Mmm. Eat your food.
Why is he here?
I'm gonna need that phone.
This phone?
Whoops.Fuck your phone.
Oh, you're goingnight-night, bitch.
I'm a pig.
Whoa, whoa, wait!Hey, hey.
No baby pictures.
Have some class.You're right.
It's bath time, shithead.
All right, ellerbee,what did we learn from the perps
after the interrogation?
The only perpshere are you three.
Okay, you turned the canalsinto the goddamned x games.
Yeah, that's'cause we were in lifeguard pursuit.
Oh, okay. My bad.
Except for there'sno fucking such thing as "lifeguard pursuit"!
When you do it, it'sjust some guys chasing some other guys.
No offense.None taken.
Hey, what are you saying?You're just gonna let those guys walk?
Okay, um, how doi explain this so that you people understand?
"You people"?
Oh, you don't getto say that.
You're just tan.
Right on.Come on, brother.
Look, even ifyou were police,
which you're not,
and even if this wasyour jurisdiction, which it isn't,
and even if you hadprobable cause to pursue,
which youdefinitely don't,
what you did wouldstill be totally illegal.
Okay, well, I mean,it's a good thing we're not police, then.
It's like youpurposely only hear 1% of what I say.
Mitch, did you pullBrody off the beach
to break intothe medical examiner's office earlier today?
Yeah, you bet I did.
Absolutely,100% and here's why.
The councilman'sboating accident was no accident at all.
He had no smokein his lungs,
Which means he wasprobably dead before that boat even caught on fire.
And our investigationhas found that all of this shady shit
leads right backto the Huntley.
You don't do investigations.You're lifeguards.
Police doinvestigations.
it's just a bunch of guysinvestigating another bunch of guys.
No offense,you're included in that. None taken.
Do you have any proofof this conspiracy?
Yeah, absolutely. We readthe coroner's report.
It's all in therebefore those other guys switched it.
Yeah, and I recordedthe whole thing on my cell phone.
Where'sthe cell phone? They destroyed it.
Oh. Okay.
So the only evidence thatyou had was destroyed.
Exactly.All the evidence... pfft!
Gone. Doesn't exist.
They're bad guysand they don't want us to have it.
Okay.
Let me try to explainthis to you
in a way thatyou people can understand.
"You people"?There it is again.
Hey, hey. Be cool.There it is again.
Just tryingto figure out what the fuck was
with "you people."
All right, now, look.
Leave law enforcementto the police. Okay?
And you guys just do the jobsthat I hired you to do.
You remember?The lifeguarding stuff.
Splish, splash.Otherwise, I'll fire you.
Now I gotta go clean upthis mess that you made.
Boom.
Obviously,you have every reason to be upset, and I apologize.
So,do you always do the opposite of what people ask you to do?
Because I don't know, man,it looks clear to me.
Nice and quiet.
No, man, you gotto look closer. I knew it.
Flynn's seafood company.
What aboutFlynn's seafood company?
They're the ones whosupply all the fish to the Huntley club, right?
So?So the question is,
who the fuck is Angelo?
I saw barrels like thatdown in the Huntley,
and now they're onthe back of her yacht.
Oh, my god.Mitch, you're impossible.
My gut saysthere's some bad shit going on over there,
and my balls say we needto go over there and check it out.
Yeah. Your ballssaid that? Yes, they did.
Why the fuck doyour balls sound like three-year-old girls?
I don't know, manthat's just how they talk.
But they're wise.
we're goingto the Huntley to see what's in those barrels.
Dude, we arepenetrating the shit out of this place.
No, I thinkit's "infiltrate."
That's what we want to do.To infiltrate.
You know they'regonna be looking for us.
That's why we'regoing undercover.
Undercover?In disguise?
Check it out.I'm undercover.
Yeah. A littletoo undercover.
What do you mean,why the heck am i wearing makeup?
It's a little much.What was I supposed to do?
Well, what we'resupposed to do is find the fucking flakka.
Oh, my god.Angelo's fish company. There it is.
You are so selfish.
You think this was easy?
It's veryimpressive, Princess.
But please shutthe fuck up and focus.
Come on.
Holy shit.Whoa.
Can't believe Leedsis doing that shit during the day.
Yeah. That takes balls.
Holy shit.
It's like breaking badin there.
Yeah, dude,breaking bad.
You were right.Yeah, I was right.
Let's get him in!
- I got here.- Right.
Yep.We're good.
- Grab his other leg.- Got it.
Geta stretcher ready.
Yeah, this is the police.How can I help you, lifeguard?
Ellerbee,you got to get down to the Huntley asap.
We found the drugs.
Yeah, that soundsgreat, Mitch,
but right now I'm busy dealingwith another dead body.
Oh, and this one'son your beach. Did you hear that?
First a councilmanand now a shark attack.
That's crazy.
Lifeguard coming through.
You're still calling thisyour jurisdiction, right?
We haven't had a dead body on the beach in years.
We found the drugs here.I'm telling you. They're behind this.
Mitch, it's thorpe,your boss.
Look, stop withthe Huntley crap, okay?
And don't evencome down here. We don't need you.
Just meet me backat headquarters.
Right now I gotta dealwith your new publicity nightmare.
from the shocking discovery of another dead body.
But in the wake of the recentdeath of councilman Rodriguez,
the locals here want answers.
I can't believe that no one was at tower one.
I don't even knowwhat to say.
Whose shift was it?
Sir, it was mine.
Stalking one ofthe most prominent women in emerald bay?
Blatantly disregardingyour jurisdiction?
Sir, I only stepped awayto check out the Huntley
and find the flakka.I warned you.
I warned you aboutsticking to your job.
This wasn't evenMitch's fault.
You leave me no choice.
I want you off the beach.I'm putting Brody in charge.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.No way.
There's nota chance... hey...
That's not what I'm saying.I don't want the position. I don't...
You have twogold medals, okay?
You're likethe Stephen Hawking of swimming,
minus the totalparalysis part.
Unless you want meto replace you with someone else.
With all due respect,that job should go to Stephanie Holden.
She knows the baybetter than anyone.
I'm no longer interestedin your opinion, buchannon.
Dismissed.
Brody.Brody, hang back.
Okay, it's just meand you now.
If you can help mekeep your new pals in line,
I can make surethat you stick around here
for a long, long time.
And if you don't,your probation could get fucked up.
Good talk, Brody.Okay.
You're my dawg, right?I'll see you tomorrow.
Bring it in.
I fucked it up.
Turn in your trunks, Mitch.
I'm going to go.
What, you thinkthat I wanted this?
It kinda lookslike you did. What?
If anyone should get the jobit should be Stephanie.
No shit.I couldn't agree more.
What would you have done?
I wouldn't havetaken the job,
even if they'doffered it to me.
It was not an offer,it was a trap.
Guys, guys, come on.Please.
All right? I need youto work together to help
bieber here figure outwhy there's a dead body on our beach,
and how Leedsis bringing in drugs to the bay.
Good luck.
Mitch.
Yo, Mitch!
I'm sorry.
I want you to have something.
My mentor gave me this.
It's the keys tolifeguard tower one.
Your new post.
No. I'm not ready.
I'm not ready for this,man.
They need you.
Hi, Mitch. Just checking in on you again.
Uh, please call us back. We're worried about you.
No, thanks, man.
Excuse me, ma'am...
Yo, Mitch. It's Brody.
I hit you on the c.B., so I know you're listening.
I hope you haven't gone crazyand started eating carbs or something.
Everyone says hi. Come back, man.
I could really use your help, brother.
You know, well, it alldepends on the data plan that you want.
Internet,everything like that?
Oh, it's all fantasticwith the Internet, sure.
It's Internet-savvyin function
and there's broadband...All right.
Samsung has allthe capabilities of the I.T. Process, and, uh...
Mind if I cut in for a second?
What are you doing here?
I'm here to remind youwho you are.
Come on, buddy.
Snap out of it!
Shoes?
You're wearingworker man shoes?
Really,how far have you fallen?
Far.I'd love to buy a...
Mitch?Yes, Mitch.
Come on, man.
You don't justprotect the bay.
You are the bay.
Mitch, the bay needs you.
Hey, do you guys know ofany good bars around here?
Hey, do you guys knowwhere you can rent a bike?
Oh, yeah,right up that way.
- This way?- Uh-huh.
All right, cool.Thank you, guys.
Sand grifters.
Get the fuck out of here!This is my beach!
All right,we're out of here!
Whoa! Did you see that?
You guys want tohelp me figure out whose stuff this is?
Yo, this cooler is...Cool.
Yo, ellerbee?
What's up, man?How you doing?
Oh, lieutenant Brody!What you got in the cooler?
Black market organs fromthe boogie board bandits?
Oh, you mean this?
No, no.
This is actuallyfor you.
You see, I'm not Mitch,right?
I know my place.
I'm just a lifeguard.And that's it.
I just want to make surethat you and I
start out on the right foot.That's it.
So I went aheadand got something a little bit special for you.
Which is a double-chocolatesmoothie from chen's.
A double-chocolate smoothie?Yeah.
From chen's?They're the best.
You know,i shouldn't.
But it is my cheat day.
It's your cheat day.
Exactly.
And by the way,i went ahead and added
that extra proteinfor you, dawg.
Oh, my man.
I know you'retrying to keep up.
Yeah, man.
Summer.
Hey, summer.
Come on, summer.
I think I foundsomething big here, okay?
I really need your help.
Please?
You took marine biology,right?
Yeah.
Look at these.Tell me what you think.
Do these look likeshark bites to you?
No, they don't alllook like shark bites.
Hey, let me take a look.
Oh, god,i can't deal with blood.
I mean,that one might be.
Those definitely are not.
So they could be,like, knife wounds.
Yeah, maybe.
Oh, my god,that's Dave!
- Oh, my god.- What?
Hey, stop lookingat the picture, dude.
Ronnie, Ronnie,what did you just say?
That's Dave.Who's Dave?
I used to work with him.
What do you mean?Doing what?
Tech stuff.
You wouldn't understand.I would understand!
What kind of tech stuff?
Holy shit! That's it.
Dave told me thathe was working with Leeds
on somethingfor the Huntley.
Oh, my god.Fucking Mitch was right.
Both of these bodies were deadbefore they hit the water.
Mitch got set up.
Leeds got rid of himand we're probably next.
Shit.
Ronnie, um,i need your help.
No.Yes.
Uh-uh.Yes. Please?
Okay, fine.We really appreciate it.
Because as much as I knowabout laptops,
I don't know shitabout computers.
Uh, so Dave had accessto Leeds' server.
Uh, her server,you mean her network.
Okay.So we just take a flash drive and we plug it in, you know.
Get into her cloud and thensteal all her cookies, right?
Straight through the firewall.
Literally none of whatyou said made any sense.
Okay, I don't know whatI'm talking about here, dude.
Just... can you do it?Yeah, it's done.
It's been donethis entire time?
Yeah, man.Oh, shit,
well, what did we find?
We found a lot of dirt.
Drug dirt,real estate dirt, yacht dirt.
"Dirt"?
What the hell arewe supposed to do with dirt, Ronnie?
I meant evidence.
Oh, evidence.Evidence.
Well, why didn't yousay so, man?
Heck, yeah!Thank god you're pretty.
I'm really proud of you,man.
Guys, we did some digging.
And Mitch was right.
The Huntley is a frontfor a giant drug operation.
But I figured outit's not about drugs for Leeds,
it's about real estate.
And she's planning on makingthe entire bay private.
Yeah, but the townwould never let her. Yes, it will.
Because she hasevery single politician in this town
on her payroll.
Rodriguez, the taint guy.
What aboutthe business owners? Yeah.
Well, most of them sold outand signed away their properties.
Leeds blackmailedthe ones who didn't
and used Dave to helphack into their accounts.
I mean,she's like some sort of modern-day j. Edgar hoover.
The vacuum guy.
No.
But there wasone holdout.
Who?Chen.
And if anythinghappens to him,
his property goesback to the city.
Who do you thinkthey're gonna sell it to?
We have to warn him.I tried.
No one's seen him for days.What?
But Leeds is having a partyon her yacht tonight.
I guarantee you,she found a way to get that guy into her boat.
Which is whywe're gonna go to that party.
Summer, you and iare going to find the flakka.
You guys find chen.
Will it work? Maybe.
Will there besome surprises along the way?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Is anyone going to die?
I don't know.Maybe Ronnie.
Sorry, what?
But we are baywatch.
We save lives.
I know becauseyou guys saved mine.
Let's go kickthat bitch's ass.
Let's do it.For Mitch.
What?What are you wearing? Where are your sleeves?
Listen, I knowwhere the flakka is.
What, where?Under the boat?
Yeah. Potentially.
Please don't die.
Do you thinkwe should kiss?
I think we should kiss.
Otherwise,we may never know
what it was like.If I die...
Maybe we shouldtalk about it later.
It was worth a try.
It was a good try.Ah, fuck. All right.
Okay.
Don't do anythingtoo stupid.
I won't.
Summer. Summer!
She's been smuggling itunder the boat this entire time.
No shit?We have to let Mitch know.
But Mitch hasn't answeredthe phone since he was fired.
Ah, fuck.
He's alwayslistening on the c.B. Okay, yeah.
Tell him,Brody found the flakka
and that he needs to meet usat the Marina at 0900.
0900 is 9:00 A.M.,so 9:00 P.M. would be 2100.
That system is sostupid and flawed.
Okay, well, militaries use itall over the world.
But I'll tell him 2100.
Hey, guys.
I'll bet lurchover here knows where chen is.
Mitch, if you can hear me,you were right.
We found the drugson Leeds's boat.
Shit!
Hey.No guests allowed upstairs.
Then I guess that meansthat you and I are all alone.
And you look like a bad boy.
How about we getinto some trouble?
Too much champagne.
Miss?
Stephanie! Damn!
Chen!
Hey, hey.
Are you okay?She was going to kill me.
- It's okay.- Shit.
What the fuck is going on?
Shit.
Put your handswhere I can see them.
Whoa!Oh, my god.
Summer!Oh, my god.
Did I kill him?
No, you justknocked his ass out.
Oh, thank god.
Here's the key.Here's the key.
All right, guys,Brody found the flakka.
Oh!And let's get you out of here and call ellerbee, okay?
What about Leeds?Ronnie and i will stay here and
keep an eye outfor her, okay?
What? We will?Yes.
We're going to beon the villain's boat.
Whoo! Jason bourneain't got shit on me!
If I could pleasehave your attention.
By this time tomorrow,
the expansion of the Huntleywill be official.
But for now,let's enjoy the caviar,
the champagneand the fireworks.
Cheers.
We have a problem.
Aw...
Wrong time to growa conscience, Brody.
Chen's getting away.
How is chen getting away?
- Fucking idiots!- Ow!
They're trying to trap us.Plan b.
Get the chopperto meet us at the barge.
We need to getthe fuck outta here.
What do we doabout him?
Do you guys have eyes on Brody?
No, we still haven'tseen him...
What!...And we lost Leeds.
Wait!Good news. We found Leeds.
Bad news.
She's got Brody in a cageon the back of a boat.
Oh, my god.Let's go. Come on.
Wakey-wakey,pretty little dum-dum.
Such a shame.
Why'd you have togo snooping? Hmm?
Maybe thorpe was wrongabout you after all.
Thorpe? What are youtalking about, "thorpe"?
Oh, you haven't figuredthat part out yet.
Where I bribed him, you know,got Mitch fired,
put your dumb assin charge.
All you had to dowas be a lifeguard.
But instead, you tried to belike Mitch and save the bay.
Now let's see how longyou can hold your breath.
No, just listen to me.Just listen...
God... fuck!
No! You haveto listen to me!
You're fucking crazy.
If I was a man,you'd call me "driven."
No!Let's go, boys.
You have tolisten to me!
Have a nice swim.
What the fuck?
Damn it, brah!
Fuck!
Thank you.Where's Leeds?
Leeds is gonnaescape in a helicopter on that fireworks barge.
Not if we stop her first.What?
Come on, buddy.
How?
Watch and learn.
Holy shit, Mitch, you got him!
Yeah, listen, I got Brody.He's alive and he's well.
Ronnie, I need you to figure out a way
to launch those fireworks.
Listen to me.
I want you tolight up the sky.
Okay. Got it, Mitch.Got it.
That's got to beher boat up there!
There's the console.Go.
Okay. Let's seewhat we got here.
Oh, fucking lifeguards!
What a nuisance!Take care of them already!
What the fuck? Holy shit!God damn it, get down!
Miss Leeds, I'm approaching the barge.
I'll meet you at the top.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Holy shit.
She's gonna get away!
Ronnie, c.J., right now.Let's do this.
Um, yeah, yeah, Mitch.We're on it. Fuck!
I've never seen anyinterface like this.
I don't knowwhat to fucking do!
Hey! Look at me,look at me, look at me!
You are the tech guy.
You are the motherfuckingtech guy.
I'm the motherfuckingtech guy. Mmm-hmm.
Come on, Ronnie.
All right, let's go.
I'm behind you, dude.
All right, watch your step.There's urchins everywhere.
What, the onesthat kill you?
Let's go, partner.
I like the sound of that.
Shit!
What the fuck!
Uh... god, oh...
Oh, my god, I got it!
And I'm in.And... fire!
Holy shit!
It's working, he's turning!
It's go time.Right.
What the hell istaking you so long?
All right, miss Leeds. Circling around.
Could you putthat dog down already?
Second level! Fire!
Take that,motherfucker!
Whoo!
Mitch!
The fireworks are almost done.And then you can land.
Holy shit!
And come to this side,you imbecile!
None of them areworking anymore. I think it's over.
Oh, honey. As usual,i have to do everything myself.
Mitch!Oh, don't bother. He's dead.
Because of you.Of course because of me.
You do realize I'mholding a gun, right?
So impulsive.
That's why you walkedright into my plan.
Leeds!
For fuck's sake.Why don't you die already?
Let the little boy go.
That's not howthis story ends, Mitch.
You see,you're not here to save him.
After all,he took your job.
But not before he gota shot off that killed you.
I don't know.That seems a little complicated.
Yeah,that sounds cheesy.
You won't get away with this!
Oh, I already have,Mitch.
You know the bestthing about winning
is that you getto write the story of what happened.
Isn't that right,Mr. gold medal?
Fuck you, lady.Pass.
What's that?
What the hell?
It's a big red button.
The big red button.
Time to die, boys.
No!
I was born of the sea!
I eat fire coraland I piss saltwater!
I scratch my backwith a whale's dick,
and I loofah my chestwith his ball sac.
What the fuck?
I'll die when the tide stopsand the moon drowns!
Until then...
Oh.
Go, baby.
I'm oceanic, motherfucker.
How tacky.
Mitch, you just blew her up!Yeah.
Plus I'm highas a motherfucker right now
on devil's urchin.
You stabbed yourselfwith one of those?
I thought that wassupposed to kill you.
It does.
And I'm in desperate needof medical attention.
That wasn't so bad.
That's good luck.Pick it up.
What? What?Oh, god, there's so much blood.
What?God, why do i keep looking?
What took you solong with Leeds?
I didn't wantto make it seem like it was too easy.
The adrenalinekept you alive.
Thank god youmake us carry these.
Take it easy.
You saved yourown life this time.
Thank you.Yes.
Hey, um...
So I hear you were, uh...
You were rightthe whole time. And, uh...
I owe you an apology.
Owe you an apology.
No apology needed.
I mean,we saved the bay.
So you can hit uson that shell phone anytime.
Come on, brother.
My man.My man.
What part of "you're fired"do you not understand, Mitch?
Get the fuck off my beachor I'll have you arrested.
Hey, thorpe.
Oh!
Oh, my god.
This is our beach, bitch.And you're under arrest.
That was a badassright cross, Brody.
You just said my real name.
Hey, killer.
Hey.
Morning.Good morning.
Do you want breakfast?
Okay.Okay, cool.
Pancakes?Yeah.
Bacon?Yeah.
Cinnabon?
I saw you do that.Oh, you're still there.
Yup, just the...Bacon sounds good too.
Good morning.
That was a hellof a punch, mister.
Thank you.I mean,
it's not exactly inthe lifeguard manual, but...
Well, I told youi would learn better if I had a study buddy.
Don't get aheadof yourself.
Oh, my god.Did you just...
Look at my dick?
Now we're even.
Oh, my god.
We're late.We have to go. Come on.
I found something.
How'd you get this?Well, it washed up on shore.
You only threw iteight feet, dude.
Thank you.
You're welcome.You're very welcome.
Uh, guys,after finding the drugs,
and helping meblow up the bad girl with a Roman candle,
it's a pleasure to say you areofficially no longer trainees.
Whoo!
Congratulations.
Hey, guys,one more important thing.
I want to introduce youto our new captain
who has been runningour Hawaii division
very successfullyfor years now.
The amazingcaptain Casey Jean.
Is it just me,or is she in...
In super-slow motion?Yeah.
Wow. This is gonnatake a while.
That's how we roll.
Oh, fuck!
All right, here we go.I think we should roll with it. Let's do it.
Yeah, we saw it inthe coroner's... coroner's...
Yeah, we saw itin the corn...
Coroner's. We saw itin the coroner's report.
I'm gonna get it."In the coroner's report."
Yes, we saw it inthe coronary's report.
Ronnie.What?
Stop looking atthe donuts like that and dump them.
Oh, boy, that was fun.
You're likea dolphin on cocaine, but not annoying at all.
You're like if a humanfucked a jet ski...
Which is impossible,but it'd be so cool.
What?
Okay, I got this.
Come on, dude. Hurry up.Fuck, how'd you do that?
Because I'm fucking strong.Let's go.
"Don't follow Mitch's balls.
"Mitch's balls be stupid."
Your hidden ballswant to go to the cartel?
Right now.It's just a third testicle.
My balls are talking...
I need you to checkhis taint for needle marks.
God damn it.
It's, uh... and hairy.
God, it's gettingreally fro-y in here.
Smile.
Love your chest,it is so... Uh-huh.
I like your chest as well.
It doesn't workwhen you say it back to me like that.
Hey, c.J., why do our suitsride so far up our asses?
It makes us fasterin the water.
Did you just...Whoa. Please.
I hope thatdoesn't make the boob-lers...
All right.
I'd love it if youwore tighter pants.
I really would.
Why do you get to playMitch buchannon?
No, I've beenMitch buchannon for 20 years.
Am I gonna bein the sequel?
Do I look like a tiny littleasshole next to him?
No.Okay, good.
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